Karen the editor's page.

When we decided to do a feature on frenemies this issue, there was a lot of debate on how to actually define "frenemy." Half the GL crew said it's a girl who pretends to be your friend but does really awful stuff behind your back (spreads rumors, asks out your crush, makes catty remarks). You get the idea--to your face, she acts like you're friends, then, one day someone clues you in to her toxic ways and you realize this girl is no friend at all.

The other half agreed that, yeah, frenemies do mean things but witchy behavior isn't the distinction. In their minds, a frenemy is someone you're friends with but deep down don't really like all that much. And you're guessing this girl isn't all that psyched about you, either. You both know you don't dig each other, but you're friends for a greater cause--lacrosse team, church, your friends are friends, whatever. So which is it? It was tossed to me for the deciding vote, and I went for the latter. Because, somehow, I am a frenemy magnet, which is kind of a weird thing to admit, really.

My first frenemy was Nicole Kressman. She and I were involved in a lot of the same stuff (student government), were in a lot of the same classes (AP English) and had a bunch of the same friends (to the point that we have tons of yearbook photos together). You would think we'd be the perfect friends, right? Guess again. Not that Nicole was ever mean or nasty--I just knew we weren't really friends. Even though we never ran against each other for any post or battled it out over who better interpreted Hamlet or decorated lockers cuter when it was someone's birthday, I just always knew she saw me as competition. For what exactly, I never quite figured out.

Later, I got work frenemies (other girls in the magazine business who were cool until I got picked for an assignment they wanted), social frenemies (girls who went frosty when they thought, for whatever strange reason, that I'd become more popular), even best frenemies (whenever good things would happen, I kinda got the idea they weren't all that psyched).

While it may seem obvious that these girls most likely were never friends at all (and they probably weren't), we still hung out, had fun, and I just assumed that's how friendships went sometimes. Or not. As I've gotten older, I choose to only have real friends: girls who are genuinely thrilled when life deals me a good hand--and not secretly smiling when it doesn't. That said, I have come to appreciate the frenemy for what she is. She's the Ohio State to my Michigan. The Windows to my Mac. The Britney to my Christina (OK, I think Christina won that one). Without her, you might not run those extra plays that will come in handy when the big game comes around. You might not push yourself to come up with the iPhone. You might just, in some insane moment, think panties are optional.

Hold friends close and enemies closer? Maybe not. But maybe frenemies aren't so bad after all.

KAREN'S TIP OF THE MONTH

Don't go back to school without adorable desk accessories!

I swear my favorite part of back-to-school is picking out new supplies. I just love the cute clipboards, fun folders and pretty paperweights from the MacBeth Collection (themacbethcollection.com). And I can't take notes without my hot-pink Uni-ball Vision Elite Rollerball pen ($25 for 12, Staples). That way, even if I'm not looking too bright, my stuff is.