KILLING PUTS VALLEY'S ARMENIANS ON GUARD.

Byline: Alex Roth Daily News Staff Writer

Baggy pants are outlawed at Demirdjian High School in Canoga Park. So are T-shirts, shaggy hair and cellular phones.

Only girls can wear ponytails, only seniors can sport facial hair, and students know better than to bring guns and knives to school because lockers are subject to random searches.

The rules at the private Armenian high school in Canoga Park are about to become stricter as a direct consequence of the stabbing death of Abtin Tangestanifar, 17. Now the slightest sign of gang affiliation is grounds for expulsion.

``Living in this kind of society, there are all kinds of outside influences,'' said Sinan Sinanian, chairman of the school's board of trustees. ``Nobody is isolated.''

Tangestanifar, the oldest son of Iranian immigrants and a popular Taft High School student, was stabbed to death during an alcohol-fueled fight between youths of Armenian and Iranian backgrounds on May 31. Four Armenian-American teen-agers face murder charges in the case, which authorities say was not based on ethnic conflict. Charges against two others have been dropped.

On Monday, three of the four are scheduled to appear in Juvenile Court for a hearing to decide if they'll be tried as adults. The fourth teen-ager already is in adult court awaiting trial.

Tangestanifar's family is so distraught that his mother sobs almost constantly in court, and his 13-year-old brother has taken to wearing his clothes.

And it has caused a wave of self-reflection in San Fernando Valley's Armenian community, where many members have achieved the sort of economic success they hoped might insulate their children from precisely these types of problems.

``I must say it shook the foundation of our whole community,'' said Archbishop Vatche Hovsepian of the Western Diocese of the Armenian Church of North America in Glendale.

The slaying occurred outside a party where the teen-age guests arrived in Lexuses, Volvos and sport-utility vehicles. Most of the teens charged with the murder were former students at the Valley's two Armenian private schools, Demirdjian and Holy Martyrs Ferrahian in Encino.

``We spend millions of dollars to educate our children,'' Hovsepian lamented, ``but we have no control over their street education.''

Using education

Not that some adults aren't trying.

At Demirdjian, the school's mandatory civics class will now include lectures from prosecutors and police officers and other public figures, according to Gerald McKay, the school's dean of students.

Last month, at McKay's annual meeting with the school's incoming senior class, he talked with them about the murder case.

``These kids want to do what other kids do - cut their hair short, wear baggy pants,'' McKay said. ``I was telling them that if you walk like a duck and quack like a duck, you're a duck.''

Some Armenian-American teen-agers think the killing has created a false impression that violence and gangs are a problem in the Valley's tight-knit, teen-age Armenian community. They resent that all are being judged by the actions of a few.

``It's not cool to be in a gang in our school,'' said Taleen Arakelian, 18, who graduated from Demirdjian this spring. ``It's looked down upon.''

While students at the two schools would often socialize, the gatherings tended to be ``pretty mellow,'' according to one teen-ager who was at the fatal party.

``It was a situation that just got out of control, but that doesn't mean it happens all the time,'' he said.

Just bystanders

Arakelian and other teens felt a degree of vindication when a judge dropped charges against Sayat Oruncakciel and Michael Aintablian, both 18. Prosecutors agreed the evidence shows the two teens were bystanders.

Oruncakciel, a recent Demirdjian graduate, is the son of successful jewelry merchants with a history of activism in the Armenian community. The couple contributed to Demirdjian, and the school's library is named after them, according to principal Hagop Hagopian.

The teen prosecutors consider the ringleader - Ari Tomasian, 17 - was voted one of the nicest people in his high school class. He was a senior at Holy Martyrs. Prosecutors say Tomasian was also a member of a local gang - and witnesses said they heard him shout gang slogans during the fatal fight.

His mother, an engineer, attends every court appearance wearing black. Tomasian's lawyer describes the defendant's parents, both Armenian immigrants, as ``emotionally distraught.''

``They are hard-working people who tried very hard and are sitting here just as grief-stricken as they can be,'' attorney Larry Clough said.

Clough insisted his client wasn't the stabber and that his gang ties were overblown.

Officials at Holy Martyrs refused to comment on the case, but one of Tomasian's teachers wrote a letter describing how his ``sincerity and good heart have touched me.''

Assimilation challenge

If nothing else, the case has put a damper on the party scene. According to Carmen Libaridian, whose son just graduated from Demirdjian, many of the teen-agers and their parents were so concerned after the killing that they kept their post-graduation parties as secret as possible to limit who might show up.

Libaridian, whose daughter will be a freshman at Demirdjian this fall, said she plans to make sure that her daughter does not attend any party without adult supervision.

An editorial in the Glendale-based Armenian National Magazine urged the local Armenian community to ``deal with this tragedy collectively.''

``Being Armenian is not a vaccine against social problems,'' the editorial stated. ``Armenian schools are not, cannot be, expected to serve as the sole barricade against the ills of post-modern society into which these children have been brought.''

The magazine's editor in chief, Salpi Haroutinian Ghazarian, said the killing has forced Armenian immigrant parents to confront a basic question: How do they let their kids assimilate into America's youth culture while living up to their parents' dreams as first-generation citizens?

``These kids have to acculturate themselves and also live their parents' dreams,'' she said. ``They have to make it and make it good - doctors, lawyers, engineers. It's a tough duality these kids have to deal with.''

In many ways, the parents of the victim and Tangestanifar himself faced the same problems.

The Tarzana couple emigrated from Iran seven years ago so their two children could have a better life. Abtin, the older of their two sons, was a popular Taft High School student who hoped to become a doctor.

``I felt comfortable when I let my son go to that party,'' said his mother, Parvin. ``It was a good area, a good family. I didn't think something like this would happen to my son.''

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PHOTO (color) Taft High School student Abtin Tangestanifar, 17, was stabbed to death outside a party in May. Four Armenian-American teen-agers have been charged.