KIDS SNEAK PEEK SILLY STORIES BRING MANY GLORIES TO CALEF BROWN.

Byline: - Nancy Hewitt

Calef Brown likes to write absurd little stories to make people laugh.

In fact, the renowned magazine illustrator has now written two books that include many of these absurd little stories fans call poems.

First came ``Polka Bats and Octopus Slacks,'' then came ``Dutch Sneakers and Flea Keepers.''

Brown laughs when asked why a commercial illustrator would write children's books. ``I've always loved children's books and always loved nonsense like (the work of) Dr. Seuss and Edward Lear.''

He says he ``combines the old-fashionedness of a nursery rhyme with the newness of the absurd'' in his stories, which are admired by both kids and adults.

Brown says when he begins work on a book he doesn't have a specific idea in mind. Most of the characters come from ``doodles in my sketch book,'' he says.

He is selective when labeling his prose: ``I call them stories rather than poems; poems are too serious,'' he says.

Brown returns to Storyopolis in Los Angeles to participate in the store's Poetry Cafe. Guest readers Kathy Kinney and Diedrich Bader, ``Mimi'' and ``Oswald'' from ``The Drew Carey Show,'' will share poems. Ross Venokur will also read his own poetry.

Kids attending are invited to bring a favorite poem or one they have written to read. Berets, shades, glue-on goatees and black turtlenecks are also encouraged.

This should please the author, who says he doesn't like to read but ``I really like to hear kids read poems.''

The free event is open to all kids 5 and older. Both authors also will be available to sign books.

Storyopolis is at 118 N. Robertson, Plaza A. Los Angeles. [phone].

MOVING ON: Only three days left until the 42-foot-long articulated cast skeleton of a T-rex named Sue leaves the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.

Make sure to take one last look at one of the best-preserved T-rex skeletons ever found.

The museum is at 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Information: [phone].

ESCAPE FROM REALITY: If you visit Pages Books for Children and Young Adults at 10 a.m. Thursday, you are in for a treat. Author and illustrator Anthony Browne has come all the way from merry old England to introduce his new book, ``My Dad.''

Young visitors will get to meet the author and have their books signed. The event is geared to kids ages 5 to 9.

Pages is at 18399 Ventura Blvd., No. 15, Tarzana. Information: [phone].

A TV ALTERNATIVE: Five days after Sean Kite was born, he suffered a massive stroke. His parents were told he'd never walk, talk, read, write, roller blade or skateboard, but he beat the odds and did all of those things and more.

Watching TV was a reward for Sean. It enabled the left side of his brain to slow down and relax. But soon his mother, Michelle Anaya, discovered he had become addicted. Anaya's solution was to design ``The TV Allowance Game,'' which motivates kids to turn their attention away from heavy television viewing.

The game teaches kids about budgeting, time management, decision- making, delayed gratification and development of outside interests.

The game also helps families by establishing a contract between parents and children. The kids decide when, and if, they will watch TV or do something else. If they don't watch television, they will be rewarded.

``The TV Allowance Game'' retails for $19.95 and is available on the Parenting by Design Web site, www.tvallowancegame.com; by phone at [phone]; or in stores.

And don't forget ``National Turn Off the TV Week'' is Monday through April 29.