Just a Mom.Parents, know thyselves As gay America's de facto [Latin, In fact.] In fact, in deed, actually. This phrase is used to characterize an officer, a government, a past action, or a state of affairs that must be accepted for all practical purposes, but is illegal or illegitimate. first mom, Betty DeGeneres offers friendly advice to other parents of lesbian and gay children in a new book based on her own experiences When Ellen DeGeneres Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958) is an American stand-up comedian, actress, and currently the Emmy Award-winning host of the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show. DeGeneres has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmys. came out, her mother, Betty, came out too, first as a proud and supportive ally, then as a spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign--and always as an ordinary mom who moved us to tears with the simple words "My child is gay, and I love her. " In her 1999 book, Love, Ellen, Betty told her own life story. Now she launches this magazine's new publishing imprint im·print tr.v. im·print·ed, im·print·ing, im·prints 1. To produce (a mark or pattern) on a surface by pressure. 2. To produce a mark on (a surface) by pressure. 3. , Advocate Books, with her second book, Just a Mom, sparked by the thousands of questioning letters she has received and offering her own straightforward insights on parenting. The problem is that when parents have kids who are different, kids who are labeled as losers or "geeks" or "sissies" or "weirdos," they, as parents, are often as uncomfortable with this label as their children are. I suspect that parental self-esteem plays a greater role in how parents react to their children's problems than we would like to admit. We all want to have kids who are winners, kids who are liked and admired by their peers and respected by their teachers. We love to bask in the reflected glory of our children's accomplishments--even though the credit rightfully belongs to our children. It's a compliment to us when our sons and daughters excel. Their success is our success. When parents accompany their daughter to a soccer game and she kicks the winning goal, the parents of the girl are congratulated along with their daughter. When a boy wins the English literature English literature, literature written in English since c.1450 by the inhabitants of the British Isles; it was during the 15th cent. that the English language acquired much of its modern form. prize at high school graduation Graduation is the action of receiving or conferring an academic degree or the associated ceremony. The date of event is often called degree day. The event itself is also called commencement, convocation or invocation. , the boy's parents can also claim credit in the eyes of others for their son's outstanding academic achievement. We feel good about ourselves when our child is honored. We sense that people think better of us as parents and as people, and we're perfectly happy to accept credit for raising such an exceptional son or daughter. Public approval lifts our spirits and bolsters our self-esteem. Conversely con·verse 1 intr.v. con·versed, con·vers·ing, con·vers·es 1. To engage in a spoken exchange of thoughts, ideas, or feelings; talk. See Synonyms at speak. 2. , when our son or daughter is scorned scorn n. 1. a. Contempt or disdain felt toward a person or object considered despicable or unworthy. b. The expression of such an attitude in behavior or speech; derision. 2. or dismissed or rejected, we're aware of the silent assumption floating in the social ether ether, in chemistry ether, any of a number of organic compounds whose molecules contain two hydrocarbon groups joined by single bonds to an oxygen atom. that says we must have failed in our parental duties to have produced such a difficult, ineffectual child. We feel the negative judgment of others and consequently feel awful about ourselves. Our children are, after all, flesh of our flesh, blood of our blood, extensions of our worth, our values, and our lives. When parents are confronted with a struggling child, they are forced to confront their own inadequacy. The best thing parents can do in such a situation is make a conscious effort to separate their feelings about how their child is regarded from their feelings about themselves. It's only natural that those "What will the neighbors think "What Will The Neighbors Think" is an episode of The Outer Limits television show. It first aired on 23 April, 1999, during the fifth season. Introduction Mona wants to stay in her apartment building Clackson Arms", at any cost... ?" insecurities come into play here. Some parents might even wonder if their child's being gay is their fault--or, scarier still, that they themselves could harbor some latent Hidden; concealed; that which does not appear upon the face of an item. For example, a latent defect in the title to a parcel of real property is one that is not discoverable by an inspection of the title made with ordinary care. gay tendencies. If parents can just step back, take an honest look at themselves, and remove their own sense of self-worth from the equation, they might then be able to give their child the love and support he or she needs to weather the chaos of the peer-pressure storm. Reprinted by permission from Just a Mom, [C]2000 by Betty DeGeneres, published by Advocate Books. For more information on Betty DeGeneres and Just a Mom, go to www.advocatebooks.com |
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