Jordan Hoffart: "hitting trumpets".

What's up, dude?

Chilling at my mama's slab.

Up in Vancouver? I thought you were living with me. What's the deal?

I still live with you, Deville, but it's nice to come home and see my family and friends every now and then.

I hear that. Where do you like it better?

Both have their pros and cons. Los Angeles is tight for night missions, and that's pretty much it. I grew up in Vancouver, my entire family is here, all my friends live here, DPOG--this will always be home, it's my life outside of skating. The summers here are ridiculous, 'cause it's the only place where you can grab a case, shred a free, outdoor park that's sick as fuck, go to the beach, and then hike up to the mountain and go snowboarding all in one day if you want.

Fuckin' eh, man. Sounds Rope. Who's the DPOG?

That's the homies. My friends all grew up around this park in South Van called Douglas Park. You could skate these benches around the perimeter of the basketball courts all day, every day. Since my friend Torey and I were from the suburbs, we would bus out every weekend to post up at our homie's crib and skate the park. We did that for a good five to six years before the benches got broke and the spot fell apart. But DP was the spot and we were the OG crew, which made us the DPOG. The spot's not completely done be any means, I still see kids pull out ramps and shred, but after we all turned 19 we started spending our weekends at the bar, hitting trumpets instead of the park busting tricks.

Trumpets?

Yeah, it's when you've got more than one beer in each hand and you hold the neck of the bottles with your thumb and index finger only. The rest of your fingers flair out when you sip, so it looks like your belting on a trumpet. We weren't casually sippin'; we were getting sauced as quickly as possible so we could spend less time at the bar and more time grinding teen bitches.

I was going to ask you about that after I saw all the party photos on your myspace.com. Speaking of which, I hear you had a pretty high profile 19th birthday party. What's the story with Jessica Biel?

Okay, check it, I got a role in Blade Trinity as a vampire that gets his ass kicked by this hot girl slayer, Biel. While we were filming Jess and I kicked it a bit, so I invited her to my party that my homie was throwing for me at the club he promoted. I didn't really think she'd come out, but on that day she showed up with Shaun and Marion Wayans. I guess they were up here filming for the White Chicks. Anyway, my homies got all psyched when she rolled up and started grinding her up and down the dance floor; I think I got one dance in. When the club was closing, she asked me what I was going to do. I said, "I don't know."

She goes, "You're coming with me."

I replied, "Okay." She took me to her hotel suite for the "after party," where she continued with, "I haven't given you your birthday present yet." I was wasted and didn't clue in as to what that meant--but after she started giving it to me I figured it out pretty quickly.

Whoa, lucky. I heard you puked on her after?

Ooh, yeah. I drank a lot.

So hold up, you got down with Jessica Biel, then threw up all over her? What were you thinking?

I was thinking "Where's my camera? I got get a photo of this." Dude, I blew it. geah, you really did. But I feel that celebrities are wack anyway. You must've had a major hangover.

Dude, the worst mush brain ever. I was super hungover, but so psyched at the same time. It's almost like hysteria; when you can't form a sentence you're so hungover but everything's hilarious and you're in such a good mood. I got love for the mush brain, dude.

Yeah, as long as it doesn't start affecting your skating.

Very true. For a good stint I was all about the party scene. I'm stoked to say I haven't partied like that in a year or so. It gets old quickly, and definitely starts to affect your skating. But it's always nice to reward yourself with a cold beer after landing a trick you've been struggling with all day. A symbiotic relationship can occur between beer and skateboarding, as long as you keep the drinking in moderation, or keep a higher ratio of tricks landed to beers consumed. You feel me?

Your last name is crazy. Didn't we try to find you a nickname to market you properly when we started working together this time last year?

Deville, you can call me "dad."

I heard his last name was created from his ancestry. I think his great, great grandfather, whose name was Huebert of Farthing, had his name changed as we entered the nineteenth century.

They took the H from Huebert and the first four letters of his place of birth--this was customary--hence, Huebert of Farthing became H of Fart. An interesting choice.

You solved it, buddy.

You were in the Olympics?

Yesum.

So did you get a gold medal or what?

Nah. I was skating while Avril Lavigne sang a song in the closing ceremonies to promote the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

I guess this is your last interview?

I hope so. This is terrible.

No, because you broke your ankle and you won't be able to skate again.

Yeah, but you should see the other guy. I'll be back by the time you read this. And even if I wasn't able to skate, everything in this life is temporary.