John Waters.

A DATE WITH JOHN WATERS (NEW LINE RECORDS) WILL BE RELEASED ON VALENTINE'S DAY 2007.

1 United 93 (Paul Greengrass) The best movie in the last five years. No cheap shots in this one! I have friends who would watch a snuff film, yet they refuse to see this great action picture--I don't get why.

2 Jackass Number Two (Jeff Tremaine) Playing on more than three thousand screens, Jackass 2 was the number-one-grossing movie in America on its opening weekend--and the male stars eat shit and drink horse semen for real. They're nude a lot, too. If this isn't cultural terrorism, I don't know what is.

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3 The Last King of Scotland (Kevin Macdonald) Forest Whitaker tops the performance of Joseph Olita in 1981's Rise and Fall of Idi Amin, one of my all-time favorite trash masterpieces.

4 Shortbus (John Cameron Mitchell) When was the last time the star of a film rimmed someone, sang "The Star-Spangled Banner," and walked away with his dignity? A touching, lovely movie that I hope gets turned into a Broadway musical.

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5 The Departed (Martin Scorsese) The best-acted film of the year from America's coolest director. The final shot is beyond perfection.

6 Sherrybaby (Laurie Collyer) Maggie Gyllenhaal plays an ex-convict drug addict (the kind I see in Baltimore every day), and the film is so depressing and great that I wish I could see it with an all-female prison audience.

7 Inside Man (Spike Lee) Handsome bank-robbing outfits--so chic, so scary, so fashionably conformist.

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8 Sleeping Dogs Lie (Bobcat Goldthwait) A feminist tale of a girl who once blew her dog and mistakenly tells her boyfriend. Now there's a high-concept romantic comedy.

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9 Hamilton (Matthew Porterfield) A tiny, minimalist art film from Baltimore that made it to New York and is astonishing in its simple beauty, amazing performances, and hypnotic pace. The real thing.

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10 Marie Antoinette (Sofia Coppola) Sofia Coppola is Karen Kilimnik!