Jimmy Moore.

Where are you from?

Kansas City.

How old were you when you moved to Arizona?

Thirteen.

Is that when you started skating pools?

Yes. The first punker I met took me on my way home from school.

What's your ideal Arizona pool?

Amoeba, with real pool coping

How much time have you spent in Tent City?

One.

Just one?

Twenty-nine days in the hole.

What sent you to the hole?

A lot of things, I guess. Drinking.

Who are the lizards in Tent City?

Those are the female inmates.

Are they on the other side of a fence?

The other side of the blow job holes.

How many beers do you have to drink before you can start to skate?

Two.

How many before the session is ideal?

Six light beers or four regular Budweisers. Too many would be seven.

How many had you had when we shot the stalefish?

I had more than seven that day.

Tell me a good Randy Colvin story.

Oh, Christ. I don't want to throw him under the bus too hard so I have to think a minute ... I got one. When he was on probation for felony flight, he was drunk and driving around the speed bumps instead of going over them. The cops started following him, and he ran to the house we were at and he jumped out. The cop was traveling alone so Colvin is on the other side of his car. When the cop scampers around the car to get him, Colvin dives under his car to get to the other side. We look out from the backyard and see this Mexican crawl out from under this car, and then run and dive over a 6-foot cinder block fence--just grinding his whole chest off.

This Mexican was Colvin?

Yeah.

Did you know this was Colvin or did you think it was some random?

Well, he had his beanie up and his eyes were so wide. We were building a ramp, and it was framed but without plywood on the fiat. We played it, like telling the cop, "He went that way!" Colvin ran with the cop chasing him through the flatbottom. Colvin did the Marine dance through the flat, like when they go through the tires, and kind of lost the cop right there. The cop had to go around the ramp. Colvin dove over the next fence and immediately took a fight into the neighbor's yard. Again we were like, "He went that way." By that time the whole team was out, the choppers and everything. Three hours later this naked Mexican walks into the house, saying he had to take off his clothes and pee in them so he wouldn't make any noise. If he got caught, that would have been a good year violation. I have to commend him on that one.

What happened at the Love Bowl?

I went higher than Omar Hassan.

What did Jake say?

Fuck Jake. Jake doesn't understand there are two inches of stucco on the ground. You go across a perfect basketball court and then begin to hydroplane across stucco before you even get to the wall. This isn't Roskopp days, Jake, alright?

Do you think you would have gone higher if you had bigger than 54 millimeter wheels?

I know I would have, and I will. But we need a motorcycle--and it's not funny, Joe. Ask Omar, it's not easy. You know Livingston tried to drop in on those things. Stackenstien buckled.

What drug scared you to the point where you will never do it again?

Special K. It doesn't work for awhile and it comes in powder form so you snort it. You think something is going to happen and it doesn't happen and it doesn't happen and you do too much and pretty soon you're ready for operation. I'm pretty sure it's a horse or cat tranquilizer. I did it, and I freaked out so hard I was totally conscious and I couldn't see anything. I had to literally feel my way to the telephone and call my friend to look it up in the medical books to make sure I was okay. I'm pretty sure I went a little overboard on it.

How many piss tests have you failed in your life?

That's not really funny.

Did Baker send you the complete Neck Face series?

That's not funny either. I give my shit away. I still have a few.

What did Colvin do?

There you go, throwing me under the bus. I rode mine, and Randy did what Randy did. [T-ed." Randy sold his to a collector for $800.]

What would you do if Steven Tyler showed up to your house party?

I would probably attempt to extort him in some way involving my girlfriend. That would take some thought, but I know I could get some money out of him.

Did you really buy your girlfriend Danielle a belt that says "Yeller"?

Yes. I got that in Oklahoma.

Why did you go to Oklahoma?

My friend McNair had a shop opening and a video premiere for Fruit of the Vine. Lundry, aka Professor Dickface, did a skateboard speech; pretty retarded.

How was the flight there?

Oh God. That one was Colvin's fault, too. What kind of a bar has dollar tequila shots and six-dollar beers? What do you think is going to happen? I didn't know that was legal to do. I didn't know they could tell me I couldn't fly. They did come onto the plane and said, "Excuse me, can we talk to you outside of the plane?"

What's up with those sketchy tag-along dudes when I pick you up to go skate on Sunday mornings? Who are those guys?

You mean like Bates and Juando? I have extremely successful millionaire kid friends, and 40-year-old junkie loser friends. The spectrum is wide and long, and everyone is God's children.

What is an ideal sponsorship?

Well, I'm pretty sure I need to get into this PlayStation game. I've seen Andrew's checks for $90,000, and it's just like yesterday's news. I've seen some pretty retarded shoe deals. I'm trying to work out the million-dollar deal right now. We're shopping as I speak.

Was JNCO an ideal sponsor?

I've been getting razzed for that one for years. Brewce Martin gave me some stickers with a bunch of blood on them, and he's like, "That's dog blood." I didn't even ask what that meant, but in the background is an incredible skatepark and I can remember me and Shaggy, I think, we gave them $3,000 that trip. I remember giving Red $3,000 underneath the bridge for concrete and coping. I can remember a shitload of us, upwards of 10 guys--Heddings, Hitz, Navs, Shag, the whole crew going on trips all over the country.

What did you do with those boxes of clothes JNCO sent you?

Those boxes would never even get opened. They would fly us to meetings and say, "Everyone is getting in the magazines--but never wearing one article of the clothing or stickers." You know, we would try to explain to them that the clothes were fucking gay.

Were you really almost abducted by John Wayne Gacy Jr?

Well, I don't know, Joe, but I did have a clown lurk on me, and what's it called? Stalk!

And this was Gacy?

This was in Kansas City. Gacy was from Chicago, but that's only five hours away. This dude was dressed up as a clown; any way you look at it he was either Gacy or a fan, and he was sitting there waiting for me when I got off the school bus. Some dude in a clown suit in a white van. I get off the bus and the dude starts the van, just like in the movies, so I ran like any sixth grader does. All the way to my house, got my little latch key out, and the dude just stops in the street looking at me. White face, red nose, wig--the whole thing. I didn't tell anyone for two days. I told my friends and they laughed and called me a pussy, like, why didn't I fight him? Two weeks later I'm in the woods and like a hundred yards away is the dude standing there in the middle of the woods. I'm with my tough friend, and he's like, "We got to get out of here." Now he's been in my dreams and I'm losing my mind a little bit. I want to punk him out. We start to peddle parallel to him and he's keeping pace. We peddle faster and we look back and there is a jogging fucking clown in the woods. It was either Gacy or a fan of his. It doesn't really matter, does it? Anyway, we got away, and went and told my friend's mom. She called the cops and my mom. Bagged my whole deal; my mom wouldn't let me out of the house forever.

What skater has left the most lasting impression on you?

Lance Mountain.

How did it feel when he approached you about a month ago?

I'm going to relish in that one. It was cool.

What was the scenario?

He came up to me at the Bowl Riders queer-out, and said he was impressed with the scrambled egg and he just wanted to tell me that it was the shit. That's all I needed to hear.

What did Rune have to say about the scrambled egg?

Oh, he told me about his magical Flip buddy.

"Did you see my friend who did the kickflip eggplant a week later?"

Well, I would have to say that's gay. It's pretty sick, but it ain't no egg D.

Who do you want to thank?

Everyone, thank you. I got magic powers, the spirits follow me.