Jenkins, A.M. Damage.

HarperTempest. 186p. 2001, 0-06447255-8. $6.99. S*

To quote KLIATT's September 2001 review of the hardcover edition: Austin, a small-town football hero, tells of his experiences in an unusual form: using second person, e.g., "You pull on your helmet and head into the middle of all those eyes." From the first pages, the reader can sense Austin's depression and the distance he experiences from his own feelings and actions. It's like he is watching himself go through the motions of living. And this is in the midst of what most teenagers would call an exciting life: Austin is handsome, a star athlete; he has a best friend, many other friends, and he is having an affair with the most beautiful girl in the school. Yet he thinks all the time about his own father, who died of cancer when Austin was three years old, a man Austin really can't remember. Austin suffers from depression and he thinks about suicide frequently. His love affair with Heather gets him out of the worst of it for a time, but her own problems finally destroy whatever promise they may have together, and once more Austin is on the edge of his own destruction. At the end of the novel, various addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses are given for further information about depression and three hotline 800 numbers are listed for those with suicidal thoughts.

There is a gritty truth in this book not often found in YA novels, frankly, especially the descriptions of sex and how impossible it is to separate sex from emotions. It is revealed that Heather, for example, enjoys arousing her male lover and giving him pleasure, but when Austin tries to touch her and satisfy her sexually, she is angry and disturbed: she needs to be in control and she likes the power she has over her lover but can't accept loving in return. Why? A terrible story from her own childhood finally tumbles out of her, a tale that actually helps Austin understand that if he kills himself, others will be affected long after his own death. These sexual passages, obviously not included to titillate, are essential to the story and to an understanding of sexuality--but some younger YAs may not be able to handle them. The football sequences, the vicious coach and his methods, the male friendships are all elements of the story that will attract readers. Austin's lifelong friendship with Curtis is truly a marvelous thing, and how each can support the other when life becomes impossible is told by Jenkins superbly. Not only is this a grippingly realistic novel, it gets across to YA readers how devastating depression is and how hard the struggle may be to avoid suicide. The dedication reads: "For those who are struggling; for those who have made it through; for those who have been left behind." An ALA Best Book for YAs.