Jake Duncombe: "it's strawberry-blond".

What's up?

Just illin'.

So you're from Byron Bay. What's it like living an hour away from the drug capital of Australia?

It's alright--just a little surf town full of hippies.

How come you're such a Bogan and not a hippie?

I didn't even know I was a Bogan until I met Caccas.

How did you get into skating while living there? And how come you just didn't turn into a surf rat? Wait, let me answer that one. It probably has something to do with the lack of mullet retards surfing tubes. Do you think that dropping out of school at such a young age has anything to do with why you look and act like a retard?

Not at all. School's for fools.

Do you think your sponsors should open up a savings account for you, so you don't blow your whole cheque in the first week, ending up broke as luck for the rest of the month?

That would be the smart thing to do, but if they did that I wouldn't be able to spend it all on worthless shit in the $2.00 shops.

You're a bit of an Aussie Bogan; do you think that will help your skate career?

Well, look at Chad Bratty. He's flyin'.

I heard you got pretty fezzy on New Year's and got your first root. Now all you want to do now is luck chicks and dry root guys--what's up with that?

It was rad. I bought a 4.5 liter bottle of JW and a bottle of Hennessy for everyone and we got maggot. I only dry-root legs. My first root was all because of the mullet; it's unexplainable.

What's with that fezzy orange mullet and how do you pick up chicks with that heinous 'do?

It's not orange, it's strawberry-blond, and it got me my first root. Didn't the chicks dig the mullet?

I haven't known you for that long but your skating has evolved over the years. Do you think learning to skate on fezzy Aussie tranny has helped your street skating?

Yeah, probably, but what's that fucking smell?

It's either the fridge or Ben's dead gold fish which he failed to flush down the toilet.

Poor Ben. That was his commitment to his girlfriend.

So you've just finished filming for the Blind video. They sent you a camera; what damages were done?

Oh my god. One time we had just left this spot and I had left the boot open, and three video cameras plus all of Mapstone's equipment plus about 10 boards fell out on the road. Tristan Walker ran after the boards; it was funny as hell, but no major damage done.

What's the best Mapstone story?

We had just left Sole Tech and we were all so hungry--we passed a Weiner Schnitzel and Caswell Berry really wanted to go. So Mapstone does a U-turn for Caswell; but Mapstone's vegetarian, so all he ate was tomato sauce. Just to make Caswell happy. That's when TTC (Team Too Cool) came into play.

What's your best Shane Cross story?

His first two roots. I can't remember which order they were in, but one time there was a dude jacking it while they were getting it on, and the other time he got fingered by a chick while rooting.

Is it true that Shane is pissed off at you for hooking up with his sister?

Yeah, we don't talk much now and we won't get into that. He's going to be even more pissed that I told you about his first two roots.

Are the ams that are coming out of Australia good ambassadors? Because you're a retarded Bogan and Shane smells like shit and plays with his dick on 14-hour-flights and gets busted on video.

Hell yeah, we rock! I wouldn't call us ambassadors--maybe Shane ... I don't even know what ambassador means.--Caccas