JULY 1994: TAKING TIME TO APPLAUD CHILDREN; THREE CHEERS FOR FAMILY WITH GOOD IDEA.

Byline: Dennis McCarthy 

Let's take a day off today from all the abusive behavior that dominates the media most days: spousal abuse, child abuse, abuse of power, abuse of the elderly - all of them.

Let's talk instead about approbation, the opposite of abuse.

Now there's a word you don't see popping up much in print or on the TV talk show circuit.

Boring stuff - approbation. Who wants to read about families that have it all together; kids who admire and respect their parents, parents who guide and love their kids, even listen to them?

Nah, it'll never fly. Not juicy enough. I can imagine even now all those TV sets across America clicking off if Oprah, Phil or Geraldo decided to devote a show to approbation, not abuse.

Too bad. There are some great stories going untold out there because nobody died, tried to commit suicide or was the victim of abuse.

Carmen Cordova told me such a story Wednesday from her Arleta home. Her 80-year-old mother, Raquel Beaumont, was napping in the next room - fighting the fatigue of long nights and days of studying about this country's history and laws so she could pass a test to become a U.S. citizen.

A special Sunday

It was not her mother's quest for citizenship that the 52-year-old Cordova wanted to talk about, though.

It was the approbation that the Beaumont family celebrates on the fourth Sunday in July.

The day that the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Raquel and Roberto Beaumont of Peru will gather in this Arleta home for the 38th straight year of ``Offspring Day.''

For children to honor - truly honor - their parents on Mothers Day and Fathers Day, they must themselves be honored for their own deeds and lives on their own day, Raquel Beaumont felt.

So, on a Saturday night in late July of 1956 in Lima, Peru, she gathered her five teen-age children around the dinner table and told them they had all come into this world for a reason - that their voices would always be heard and their lives guided by their parents for as long as they needed them.

But most of all, Raquel said, standing to toast the memorable event, each of them could count on the endless love and counsel of their parents.

Approbation.

``We came to the dinner table to find a rose by the napkin of each daughter, a carnation by the napkin of each son,'' says Carmen, who was 15 at the time. ``We all looked at each other, wondering what was going on?

``Mama began to talk of how close we all were and that she wanted this closeness, this communication we shared, to last forever.

``She knew that we would all be going our separate ways soon and that she would no longer have the chance to sit with each of us for half an hour every night to see what we needed, how our lives were going.

``None of us ever went to sleep at night as kids without Mama coming down to our level and giving each of us that half an hour or more of time,'' Carmen said.

A gift of time and love

``I can remember at that dinner, we all thought this was so beautiful and that mama was so emotional. Then, she stopped and looked at each of us around the table, and told us that this special day did not mean we would get presents.

``The gifts we would receive on Offspring Day were time and love, and she expected us to pass it on to our own children, which we have,'' Carmen said.

So, the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Roberto and Raquel Beaumont will gather in a few Sundays to discuss the past year of their lives and what they hope to accomplish in the coming year.

From Colombia will come Roberto, the eldest son - a dentist. From Peru will come Raquel, the eldest daughter, and Ricardo - both attorneys.

From Los Angeles will come Gustavo, a doctor, and Carmen, a psychologist.

The children of Roberto and Raquel Beaumont have done well in life - thanks to their parents, Carmen says.

``Every week, we talk and exchange letters with Mama,'' she says. ``My sister and brother can be working on a legal case and mama is the first one they will call for an opinion.

``She is not a lawyer, but they respect her advice because every night when they were studying for the bar exams, Mama was there by their side, studying with them,'' Carmen said.

``The same with my brother, the medical doctor. Mama studied the medical books with him. This is a woman who was the youngest of 11 children and barely finished high school.

``Now, my children and their children come to her. She is the counselor. What she created for us and our children around that dinner table in 1956 is nothing short of beautiful.''

Nothing short of approbation.