It could have been me.

Students at four U.S. colleges describe how campus life has changed since Matthew's death

Much of the press coverage this past year around Matthew Shepard's death has focused on Laramie, Wyo., and elements in the college town that might have contributed to the murder. But under the lens of many of the generalizations that have come out in these reports, Laramie could easily have been any of a hundred other U.S. college towns. And Shepard could have been any of the hundreds of thousands of other gay and lesbian students struggling to find a foothold among conflicting messages regarding their sexual identity. The Advocate talks to four such students--who, like Shepard was, are openly gay and politically active on their college campuses. How have things changed for them in the year since his death?

Jared Roper, 21 BOZEMAN, MONT, | MONTANA STATE UNIVERSITY 

Welcome to Bozeman, not to be confused (of course) with Billings or Butte or any other town in Montana that starts with the letter b. Here in Bozeman, a city home to 29,000 people and Montana State University, people talk a lot about "the beautiful country." They also talk about what they might do if they escape that beautiful country for Friday- or Saturday-night getaways to larger cities such as Billings or Missoula (both about a three-hour drive away).

To Jared Roper, a 21-year-old senior at MSU, Bozeman is a lot like Laramie. The populations are nearly identical. Both are home to state universities. Both are places where Roper says he wouldn't hold hands with a guy in public.

"It's not that I fear for my safety walking around campus by myself, because I don't, but it's just an environment where many of the people who grow up here have never been exposed to anything gay," says Roper, who came out last year and is now copresident of the gay and lesbian student group on campus. "And that ignorance about something can always lead to violence."

For Roper, Shepard's death was more than just a tragedy that warranted the wearing of ribbons and a quickly planned vigil (both of which happened at MSU). Shepard's death was a call for Roper, then closeted, to come out and be there for other gay students.

"I remember right after [Shepard] was killed that I thought to myself, I wish he would haze gone to this school so he wouldn't have had to go to that bar by himself," says Roper, who is originally from Fair Oaks, Calif. "I realized that what happened to him could have happened here. I decided then that I was going to make a difference. I was going to come out and be here to provide resources and support for anyone who needs them. No gay students here should have to go to a bar by themselves."

Amy Warren, 21 FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ. | NORTHERN ARIZONA UNIVERSITY 

On the surface, there doesn't appear to be much of a gay vibe coursing through Flagstaff. The northern Arizona mountain town of 58,000 doesn't have a gay bar, a gay community center, or a centralized location where gay and lesbian youth gather. To find all those things, most people travel 146 miles south to Phoenix.

If Amy Warren, a 21-year-old senior at Northern Arizona University, or any other student wants to get a drink or meet socially with friends in Flagstaff, it's a straight bar or nothing.

"In that way this town reminds me of Laramie because [Matthew Shepard] shouldn't have had to be in a straight bar," says Warren, the former president of the campus gay and lesbian group. "When there are no gay social spaces, whether it be a bar or a community center, we might be putting ourselves in uncomfortable or dangerous situations."

The situation in Flagstaff has prompted activism from some gay students who are trying to start a gay and lesbian community center and a youth outreach program. "We were all in shock after the murder, and for a long time I think people were afraid and careful of their actions in public," says Warren, who is originally from Indianapolis. "Even today, I think people are still uncertain, and I know people who have used what happened to Matthew as just another reason why they don't feel comfortable coming out here."

Several instances of homophobia on campus haven't helped the climate. At an off-campus party last year, two gay male students were dancing together when a group of students started making rude remarks. The gay students were escorted out and the uninvited guests were asked to leave, but they unfortunately arrived outside at the same time.

"There was a confrontation, and a beer bottle was thrown that hit one of the gay students," Warren says. "We have had several instances of outward homophobia, but the more present, day-to-day problem here is that gay people are tolerated, not accepted."

Chad Hughes, 20 MURFREESBORO, TENN. | MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE UNIVERSITY 

Chad Hughes, a 20-year-old junior at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro, likes to think that he knows his grandmother about as well as any young gay man can truly know "a classic set-in-her-ways Southern Baptist Republican grandmother."

While Hughes and his grandmother don't always see eye-to-eye on politics or religion, the two share a loving bond, albeit one that doesn't usually involve discussions about homosexuality.

Consequently, Hughes was surprised when his grandmother (who still doesn't know that her grandson is gay) started talking about Shepard several days after the murder.

"We were talking on the phone like we always do, and out of the blue she brought up the killing and said how terrible it was," says Hughes, who came out to most people his freshman year at MTSU. "I think she was symbolic of a turning point for a lot of people on this campus, because people that I never would have expected to show sympathy and some understanding diet There was an outpouring of care and concern, and I think some people had to examine their own prejudices."

Hughes, who says he was surprised to find the MTSU campus mostly devoid of homophobia when he arrived his freshman year, says the campus culture has only gotten better in the time since Shepard's murder. "This campus really came to the defense of Matthew and the rights of gay people, and people talked about how we could keep that from happening here," says Hughes, a member of both the student gay organization and a Nashville-based organization for young lesbian and gay people 14-22 years old. "But I have always felt accepted by the people I have met on this campus. Right after what happened to [Shepard], I was a little more cautious, and I think a lot of gay people were. But I have seen very little homophobia on this campus, and I have been surprised by how open-minded many people are."

The same doesn't go for the town of Murfreesboro, however, he says. "Many of the older people who live around the campus are as conservative as they come," says Hughes, who is originally from Red Bay, Ala. "Open-minded students are enclosed in this circle of rednecks. It's two totally different worlds."

Raymie White, 22 HUNTINGTON, W.V. | MARSHALL UNIVERSITY 

In terms of social life, it could be a lot worse in Huntington, W.V. That's because this relatively small commerce and industry city (home to about 55,000 residents) boasts three gay bars. "Yeah, we take good care of our gay people," jokes Raymie White, a 22-year-old senior at Marshall University. "But this town is quite conservative, and I don't see a pride parade running through town anytime soon."

Still, while White says Huntington is a city that likes its gay people "quiet and out of the way," he has seen progressive change at Marshall University in the year since Shepard's murder. "Soon after, representatives from the minority groups on campus got together to form a task force, and we started working mom as a team to see how we could make this a more tolerant place for all minorities," says White, who is co-coordinator of one of the school's two gay and lesbian student groups. "People from all minority groups were affected by [the murder] and knew the same thing could happen to them. Before the murder, there was a real feeling of apathy on this campus. After the murder, people started looking at the word FAGGOT being written on dorm room doom, and people started saying, `No, that can't be done.'"

White has seen few instances of outward homophobia at Marshall, but he says that the campus features an aura "of tolerance, not acceptance." "I think the more out you are on this campus, the less likely you are to be harassed or hurt for being gay," says White, who is originally from Charleston, W.V. "The perception is that the more openly gay you are, the more you will know how to punish someone if they do something homophobic. People who are perceived to be gay are the ones we worry about being harassed."

Denizet-Lewis is a features writer at the San Francisco Chronicle.