It's no longer a spectator sport: eight ways to get involved and help fight parental violence in youth sports.

Imagine watching a father become incensed when his 10-year-old boy receives an elbow to the nose during a body cheek from another hockey player. Immediately, this irate parent screams at the coach to curtail the violence. When the coach skates off the ice, he is confronted by the enraged parent. After some verbal sparring, the agitated parent is asked to leave the premises. Later, the stressed father returns to the rink, challenges the coach again, and begins beating him while young athletes yell helplessly for the crazed parent to stop. It's too late. Two days later, a spokesperson for the hospital announces that the coach has died.

It's difficult to visualize this incident occurring at a youth sport activity. The parent was arguing with the coach about the violent behavior at the practice, and then, ironically, he turned to violence to solve the problem. Sadly, this story is true and took place on July 5, 2000, in Reading, Mass. The coach supervising the practice was beaten to death by the parent of the 10-year-old hockey player.

The parents of millions of youth participating in organized sports today threaten coaches, assault referees and hurt kids. Horrific events like this often referred to as "Little League parent syndrome" or "sport rage" demonstrates a pattern of violence and verbal abuse orchestrated by adults at youth sporting events upon children, coaches and officials. While there is little scientific support demonstrating that sport rage is increasing, anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that sport rage is on the rise.

There are many examples that seem to indicate that parental behavior is, in fact, out of control at youth sporting events. In May 2003, a little league secretary in "Wakefield, Mass., faced criminal charges of assault and battery for allegedly kicking and swearing at an 11-year-old boy who had been fighting with her son at the baseball field. In September 2003, a Toronto father was charged with assault after grabbing and shaking his 10-year-old daughter's face mask at a youth hockey game. These are not lone incidents. Every year we hear stories about parental violence in youth sports: a soccer dad punched a 14-year-old in the face because he had scuffled with his son over the ball; a father dressed in slacks and a shirt leaped into the pool to slap the water by his child mad starting yelling at his son for losing a race at a swim meet; a mother slapped her 9-year-old daughter in front of everyone at a swim meet because she missed her race, and more. Perhaps one of the most widely reported cases of violence involved a woman who was jailed for trying to hire a hit man to kill the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival, which eventually led to a made-for-TV movie, "Willing to Kill: the Texas Cheerleader Story," which aired on ABC in 1992.

The violence at youth sporting events is not just directed toward children. Parents are also attacking each other, coaches and officials. In fact, parental violence is so threatening that many referees have turned to buying "assault insurance," while some state legislatures (Okla., N.M., Tenn., Ala., Pa., Mo., Ky., Wash., R.I., Miss., Ore.) have passed laws prohibiting assaults on referees and umpires. According to a recent survey by the National Association of Sports Officials, 76 percent of the respondents from 60 high school athletic associations reported that increased spectator interference has caused many officials to quit. Even though this survey is related to high school officials, it is clear that officiating in parks and recreation programs is much more difficult. Their lack of training and development leaves them open to greater criticism. If parks and recreation sport managers are not careful, they may lose officials as well.

Reasons for Parental Behavior

Youth sports events generate a forum where parents struggle to balance their paternal instincts with their hunger for victory. It is time for sports managers to focus on the violent behavior exhibited by parents at youth sports events and reduce the violence with proactive measures. What causes parents to misbehave at youth sporting events? Youth sports has been studied for years, and writers have opined possible reasons for violent parental behavior.

1. Living Vicariously Through the Child Parents are elated when their child succeeds and they rarely fail to let everyone know that it was their kid who was the star, often infuriating other people, leading to an escalation of tension and confrontation. This action can trigger unreal expectations when parents perceive more potential in their child than they ever experienced in their own lives. The parents attempt to actualize their dreams through their children's sport participation.

2. Visions of Suporstordom Some parents dream of producing the next superstar or Olympic gold medalist. They foresee their child as the next LeBron James or Venus Williams. In reality, a very small percentage of young athletes make it to the big time. Although the occasional sport prodigy like Tiger Woods emerges, it is unrealistic to predict the athletic ability in young athletes before the age of twelve. These visions of superstardom can cause parents to act violently when their child doesn't receive enough playing time, or they don't want to share minutes with other, less capable kids. Melissa Kelly, a parent and president of a local PTA in Blue Springs, Mo., claimed, "They [parents] won't admit it, but by the way they talk you know that have dreams of their kids becoming superstars." She continued to say that some parents get quite angry when another player is substituted for their child, reducing the minutes he or she gets to play.

Parents may demand that the action should focus on their child, foregoing the concept of team play; they expect their child to be selected for "travel teams," which leads to greater exposure for further stardom; or, rage may occur when parents feel that an official's "bad call" negatively impacts their child's performance. Anything that impedes their child's "superstar status" can create violent behavior.

3. Securing a College Scholarship

When parents are considering the possibility of college scholarships, some act in an unacceptable manner. With college tuition costs rising annually, every parent's dream is for a college or university to offer an athletic scholarship to their child, reducing the family's financial burden down the road. Amazingly, this thinking manifests itself while the children are only eight or nine years of age, with college being the furthest thing from their minds. This pride can lead to violent acts when the child athlete fails to live up to unrealistic expectations.

4. Family Values 

Some parents view their child's youth sport performance as a direct reflection upon the standing of the entire family within the community. They sense that their performance defines their status in the neighborhood. If a young athlete is underachieving in the parent's eyes, the pressure begins to mount and anger is channeled toward that child, a coach, an official, other parents, or even a teammate. When their child makes an error, they become frustrated and try to blame it on something or someone else, like the official. Instead of using the sport experience to shape their child's character and values, they see their child's performance reflecting their own (parental) character and self-worth. Some parents find sub-par performance embarrassing to the family and have difficulty coping with the situation, which sometimes leading to frustration and anger.

5. Professional Role Models

It is possible that violent behavior is filtered down from professional sports. Parents (and kids) observe violence in professional sports and come to believe that it is acceptable behavior. When a role model charges the mound after a pitch that is high and tight, children often see their parents cheering the assault. Instead, parents should become the role model themselves, and condemn such violent behavior. Applying professional tactics, like "brushing back the batter" or "taking out the second baseman," is counterproductive to the spirit of youth sport. Parents must define acceptable and unacceptable behavior for their children.

6. Win-At-All-Cost Attitude

A final reason for violent behavior at youth sporting events is the emphasis placed on winning, the win-at-all cost attitude. Parents and coaches often place so much emphasis on winning, that anything less is unacceptable. Yet, the number one reason kids participate in sports is "fun," The increased emphasis on winning and losing is a result of the parents, who are unaware that they are stealing the pleasure away from their children. This win-at-all-cost attitude occurs while children are silently yelling, "Let us play!" Uncontrolled sideline behavior by parents diminishes a child's innocent joy of the game. In addition, this "emphasis on winning" may reduce the positive lessons learned through sport participation. Therefore, the often-used Lombardiism, "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing," is inappropriate when applied to youth sport.

Reduction Strategies

Traditionally; youth sports has been designed to create a safe haven for children. Sports, if managed properly, teaches valuable lessons in honesty, the advantages of hard work and teamwork self-discipline, ethics, coping with success and failure and much more. Children recognize the inappropriate behaviors demonstrated by their parents. Recently, a sixth-grade girl living in a suburb of Kansas City, Mo., made a prayer request in her Sunday school class. The request was for her father, whose temper and behavior at her soccer matches was embarrassing. What values is he trying to develop? But more importantly, what can be done to keep this father's behavior from becoming violent?

Parks and recreation program managers must place children first by emphasizing exemplary conduct, meaningful playing time for every child, promoting character and skill development and, most importantly, fun. Youth sports leadership must change this negative culture in youth sports by implementing reduction strategies to reduce violent behavior by parents at youth sport events.

These strategies do not guarantee the elimination of all violence, but can be potential deterrents to violent behavior by parents. Although this is a complex problem, and many reasons for parental violence at youth sporting events are intertwined, here are just a few ideas that managers can incorporate into their current programs.

1. Sportsmanship Classes

Some parks and recreation programs have incorporated sportsmanship classes for parents in their sports programs. These organizations require attendance at sportsmanship classes as an attempt to curb the violence. Sportsmanship classes should provide a program philosophy that clearly states the main objectives of the program. Defining sportsmanship, giving examples of appropriate and inappropriate responses to scenarios that could occur, and setting up an appropriate accountability system are musts for any youth sportsmanship class. This type of class/meeting should involve both the parents and the coaches--it is important for parents to "be on the same page" as the coaches.

With a focus on sportsmanship classes, Paul Gilmartin, president of the Valley Hockey League in Massachusetts, stated, "Everyone is more aware of the importance of maintaining the proper perspective. And because of that awareness, things absolutely have improved."

This shared perspective can create a natural accountability system if all adults involved have been schooled about the proper channels of handling misbehavior.

2. Parental Codes of Conduct

A number of parks and recreation programs have appealed to the conscience of the parents. They require parents to sign a pledge (Parental Code of Conduct), whereby agreeing to abide by certain rules while watching their children perform. These pledge statements generally focus on refraining from yelling and screaming, remembering that the game is for the players to enjoy. In Jupiter, Fla., the parents have to complete a sports ethics class and sign a "code of ethics" in order for their child to participate. This program, Parents Alliance for Youth Sport, was developed to foster a positive sport experience for young athletes.

New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, signed a bill on Feb. 28, 2003, requiring youth sports leagues to impose a code of conduct on participants and spectators. The bill allows leagues to eject anyone who violates their codes and required that the violator undergo anger-management counseling before being allowed to return. Alexanda Matteucci, who runs a youth foundation in Los Angeles, advocates reading the code aloud before every game.

However, in many communities attending a sportsmanship class and signing codes of conduct have not completely eliminated parental misconduct. Mike Carroll, program director for Acton-Boxboro Youth Hockey in Massachusetts says, "The key is to really publicize these rules as widely as possible and to educate everyone involved as often as you can. Can these codes prevent people from getting out-of-hand? No. But if they're top-of-mind [sic], will they cause people to perhaps think twice before doing something wrong? Absolutely."

Gerald Gems, at North Central College in Illinois, suggested these temporary measures are just that, temporary, further suggesting to sport managers that a link must exist between the parents' commitment to sportsmanship and their behavior.

3. Zero Tolerance Policies 

Unfortunately, some parks and recreation programs have moved toward extreme measures for controlling violent behavior of parents. Some organizations have implemented and enforce a zero-tolerance policy towards obnoxious adults. If the parents fail to control themselves, their children can't participate. A coach from the East Cobb Baseball Association in Marietta, Ga., stated that parents receive a manual explaining that if a parent's behavior turns abusive the child is suspended from play. If it occurs a second time, the child is removed from the team.

4. Silent Saturdays and Sundays

Controlling the language at some youth sports events has taken on new meaning. In early 2000, a youth baseball league in West Des Moines, Iowa, and soccer leagues ha Albuquerque, N.M., and a suburb near Cleveland, Ohio, have put "silent Saturdays or Sundays" into practice. Parents are not allowed to cheer or yell during the matches on Saturday and Sunday. They must remain completely silent in the stands. One person reported that, "At first it was difficult, but people get used to it. It actually makes it easier on the players and less stressful on the coaches. It teaches everyone to be more sportsmanlike."

But how much fun is it for a child to play in a sterile environment without any positive encouragement and cheering from the stands? This practice eliminates the positive cheers and support that are supposed to accompany youth sporting activity. It robs the athletes as well as the parents from receiving the full benefit of sport participation.

5. Fining Abusive Spectators

Another extreme measure undertaken by community sports programs to manage parental violence at youth sports contests is the administering of fines. In some leagues, abusive spectators are fined. If parents fail to pay the fine levied against them, their children are forbidden to play. It appears to create a negative impact on the player who is being punished for the behavior of the parent. Although this may reduce the verbal abuse that can lead to violent behavior, this type of "reaction" does not reduce the anger; it treats the symptom, not the disease.

6. Non-scoring Games

Many parents find themselves distraught and violent over the outcome of contests. To curb such behavior, some parks and recreation departments are not keeping score in games played in the younger leagues. Youth sports leagues from Maryland to Massachusetts are leaving the scoreboard blank, de-emphasizing competition in favor of skill-building, sportsmanship and self-esteem. Scott Lancaster, senior director of youth development for the National Football League and author of the book "Fair Play: Making Organized Sports a Great Experience for Your Kids," stated, "In our program, everybody plays ... There's no scoreboard. No angry parents. Everybody walks away happy." The children play the game for fun, with a goal of learning and improving skills. The non-scoring of youth sport contests removes the cause of parental outrage over winning and losing. Consequently, the players have more fun if there is less pressure to win. However, when the suggestion of no scoreboard was made to Payton, an 11-year-old recretion basketball player from Warrensburg, Mo., he stated, "No way ... the whole point of playing is to win the game. You want to have fun, but if you don't keep score it isn't fun. If they don't keep score, I'll quit."

7. Special Programs

New programs with a different emphasis are being developed across the country. One such program, called "Enjoy the Game" located in Blue Springs, Mo., extends to elementary, middle school, high school and youth sports programs. The emphasis is to simply "enjoy the game." This program incorporates guest speakers and program materials that focus on sportsmanship and teach parents how to be quiet unless they are offering encouragement. Those using the program are given banners to hang at the games and sporting events that say "Enjoy the Game" to remind spectators of the original reasons for sport participation. Player's uniforms sport the phrase, and referees pointedly tell players to "Enjoy The Game." Lon Robinson, director of the Independence Youth Athletic Association in Independence, Mo., says that the "Enjoy The Game" program is working well and there were no serious problems this year for the first time in his history with the league. This is all example of how parks and recreation sport managers can utilize specific programs to constantly focus on the positive elements of sport.

8. Program Directives

The final strategy to reduce parental violence at sports events is for parks and recreation sports managers to review their program, assessing the behaviors of coaches and officials, supervising of each activity, and monitoring parental conduct. This might lead to in-service programs for coaches, where they define the coaches' role, place sports in the proper perspective, stress participation over winning, and set a positive role model for children. It may also include practical training of officials, including how they can assist in managing parent behavior. Enhancing supervision at youth sporting events may be as simple as assigning a site manager to each youth sport event. A key to reducing parental violence is volunteerism, where parents are required to "police" themselves. Parents need to be aware of how their behavior impacts their children, sometimes depriving them of the full benefit of sport experience.

Clearly, the violent behavior demonstrated by parents at youth sporting events decreases the attributes learned through a positive sport experience. More importantly, it reduces the fun for children, as well as adults. Parks and recreation sport managers must be proactive in reducing violence in their programs. These reduction strategies provide sport managers with a starting point to diminishing the rage that leads to violence in youth sport. It should be noted that different strategies may be needed for different communities--not every idea works in all situations.

Parks and recreation spurt managers are challenged to provide children with a supportive, positive learning environment, where children can experience the joy of movement and the wonder of sport. Through proper planning, work and genuine concern for children, future violent acts by parents at youth sport events can be reduced, and may even be eliminated all together.

Dennis Docheff, Ed. D. currently teaches at Central Missouri State University. He has been an educator for more than 25 years, and has published over 80 articles in physical education and sport. James Conn, Ph.D., is a professor at Central Missouri State University. His areas of expertise include Legal issues in sport, risk management in sport, and motor Learning. Conn has published in more than 50 publications.