It's generational.

Christopher Rice's simply sweet editorial about bridging the "gay divide" that's come about between us 40-somethings and the 20-somethings was an eloquent piece that hit the mark [Coastal Disturbances, December 5]. It was also moving and the first time a younger person has recognized both the gift and responsibility we "older" gay men have. As a 44-year-old gay man who lived through the beginning years of the AIDS crisis and watched everyone die, I've had the exact same sentiment for a while now: We lost a generation of men who could--and who used to--mentor younger gay men. I couldn't agree more that older gay men need to step out of just trying to land younger gay men sexually and find something immensely rewarding: the family they never had.

KENJI OSHIMA via the Internet

I think the subject Rice writes about is valid, but I think he missed the mark on the causes of the chasm between the older and the younger. While there are many men of my generation who have been lost to AIDS, I believe there are other reasons for this phenomenon: history, "progress," and the Internet.

I don't think it is anything new that gay men go to bars with less frequency as they advance in age--if I drank like I did when I was 25, I'd be dead. Also, we tend to have less free time to wiggle and giggle the night away with houses and careers and relationships to attend to. Which takes me to progress--nowadays, for the most part, we no longer confine ourselves to neighborhoods close to metropolitan centers, where most gay bars are located. The suburbanization of the gay man compounds the absence of guys my age out on a weekly basis.

Lastly, the Internet--when I was a young lad going out to bars, I never dismissed anyone I thought was interesting because he was all of five years older than me. The men on the Internet seem to have this mail-order-bride mentality when it comes to having contact with someone on or off the computer. I think they're missing out on a fuller life, as Christopher noted.

DENNIS MAROLD Chagrin Falls, Ohio

I just received your December 5 issue. As always, I couldn't wait to read it. To my surprise there was an article on a topic that I have been passionate about for many years. Having been out of the closet for about 25 years--I came out at age 17 in 1982--I consider myself lucky. Your article about the division of generations was both thought-provoking and scary. Having lived through the AIDS crisis in the '80s, I have seen my share of grief. In one year, 1988, I attended 17 funerals. I feel it is the responsibility of us "uncle" gays to make sure that the younger generations are informed about just how devastating this disease is. Even though there have been major advancements in medicine, allowing those afflicted to live relatively normal lives, there is still no cure. I put a lot of blame on the advertisements for these medications. They always seem to show muscular, healthy, attached individuals. If you want to help stop the AIDS pandemic, maybe they should show someone after the meds have stopped working. Until then, I will continue to help educate those men who have not lived through what I have. Kudos to Rice.

JASON RIGGS Rehoboth Beach, Del.

Let me state for the record that not all "older" gay men are in search of a sexual hookup with younger men. I'm 50 and find men my age much more alluring than younger men. I hate that younger gay men assume that older guys are out to bed them. I enjoy meeting younger guys, just as I enjoy meeting anyone of any age or gender who has something interesting to say. Actually, it goes both ways--I've met my share of young men looking for "daddies." Personally I'm more than content with my over-50 partner. I agree with Chris when he says, "The freedom to be gay around the clock is what allows gay men to engage as full-fledged human beings, not just sexual ones." Whether we are into anonymous sex or long-term partnerships, we need to celebrate the sexual and nonsexual joy of being gay.

SANDY CEPPOS Raleigh, N.C.