In the trenches: when campers disclose sexual or physical abuse.

Dear Bob:

At our camp for girls this last summer we experienced a problem we have never had to deal with before. One of our campers told a friend -- another camper -- that she had been sexually abused by a friend of the family. This information was not only upsetting to the girls in the cabin, but greatly upset the staff members who became aware of it. In addition, we were not sure what to do with this information. Obviously, we were concerned about this child's welfare, but it was not clear to us what to say to her, what to say to her parents, or even what our legal responsibilities were. Can you shed some light on this difficult topic?

Distraught in Pennsylvania Dear Distraught:

The incident you describe -- a camper revealing that he or she is being or has been sexually or physically abused -- is referred to as disclosure. From an informal survey of camps across the United States, disclosure at camp seems to have been on the rise in 1993.

This phenomenon is not surprising, when one considers that children do not make a disclosure unless they feel safe in their environment. Given that most camps work very hard to create such an atmosphere, it is not uncommon for children to use the opportunity to make known their emotionally devastating secret.

Girls tend to make disclosure at camp up to ten times more frequently than boys. One reason for this is that girls are more typically sexually abused inside the family -- by an uncle, cousin, step father, mother's boyfriend or brother -- than are boys. (Boys are sexually abused outside the family 11 times more frequently than girls. This fact puts a boy more "at risk" in a place like camp, for example, than it does a girl.)

Since the "scene of the crime" for most girls is within their families, being at camp means a temporary respite from the abuse. As a girl begins to feel increasingly safe at camp (or as she comes closer and closer to going back to the source of the abuse), she may take a chance and make her disclosure. For boys, who have most likely been victimized outside of the family, camp may not be perceived as being as safe a place to "take a stand" as it is for girls, because boys may associate camp with another time when they were made to "feel funny." This may have nothing to do with camp itself; it is simply the association a boy may make to feeling unsafe outside his family.

The way most girls reveal their secret is much the way you have described in your letter. First, a camper swears a friend to secrecy and discloses the information to her. That camper, upset by the news, goes to a trusted counselor and, after demanding that she promise never to tell anyone, passes along the secret.

That counselor is now in a terrible double bind. Does she go to the director and get help, thereby losing the trust of her confidante? Or does she remain loyal to the camper, only to live with the knowledge that a young girl is allegedly at risk with no chance of rescue?

Counselors need support around this issue. During orientation they need to know that disclosure by campers is a real possibility. They should be instructed to tell the child, whether the actual victim or the "informant-friend," the following: 1. I am glad you told me. 2. Having a secret like this all alone must

be terrible. 3. I believe you (even if you do not know

whether what the girl is saying is true). 4. What kind of a friend would I be

(would we be) if we did not get you

(your friend) the help you (she)

need(s)? 5. I think the reason you told me (she told

you) in the first place is you want (she

wants) some help. 6. You have (your friend has) a right to

be safe and get help. 7. There is a difference between confidence

and keeping secrets. Keeping

secrets can hurt people; confidence

keeps people's feelings from being hurt. 8. There are people whose job it is to help

children exactly like you (exactly like

your friend).

Some other pointers:

* Counselors must agree to go directly

to camp administrators, not to tell

other staff. Children have a right to

their privacy. They worry about who

mows.

* Don't expect staff to remember. You

will have to coach them through it.

* Find out who else knows. "Damage

control" is crucial to the well-being of

the child and the other campers and

staff. You need to ask your staff to rise

above gossip.

* Staff will need their own emotional

support. As you enlarge the "envelope

of confidentiality," you might include

trusted staff, other professionals and

resources. Remember, there may be

someone on your staff who has had an

experience similar to the child making

the disclosure. That staff person may

need extra support.

* Your legal responsibility is bound by

state law. All states now have a fairly

uniform "mandated reporting law."

This states that anyone in a care-taking

role with children (e.g., counselors)

are mandated to report suspected

abuse. It is not your job, nor the job of

your staff, to verify the allegation or

disclosure. Find out what the law is in

your state.

* Reports are actually made in the state

in which the abuse allegedly took/is

taking place. If your camper is from

out of state, get your state reporting

agency to help you make the proper

contacts.

* Be sure to acquaint yourself with a

representative of your reporting

agency before you actually need them!

Many directors invite an agency representative

into camp during orientation

to talk with staff about child abuse

and reporting laws. Having a preexisting 

relationship with an agency comes

in handy if you need them during a

crisis.

* Consider using the ACA Hotline.

While they do not dispense legal or

medical advice, they can help you sort

through the questions and explore options

and resources. It has helped

many directors in times of need. From

June through August, call 317/342-8456

(8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. EST ), or

317/831-8190 (evenings and weekends).