In a stranglehold.

DAVE I advise you not to strangle him. But this dude definitely has issues. Tell him you like having him as a BF but that there are other rewarding parts to your life. Explain that you're not going to give those up to appease him and that he needs to stop trying to control you. If he gets it, you'll notice an immediate change. If not, dump him pronto.

BILL Overprotective people are usually coming from a good place--clearly, he cares for you. But if he lacks the self-confidence needed to trust you, have a talk with your "protector." Explain that you don't need to be together every minute to have a great relationship, If that doesn't work, I suggest you refuse to tolerate this wacky behavior. Bye, guy!

I like this guy, but he has a girlfriend. And I have a boyfriend! The guy says he likes me but doesn't want to go out because we go to different schools. We have secretly kissed. I feel like a player, and so does he. We just can't stop liking each other. Help!

BILL You're a player--you just need to figure out the game (and the rules). If you keep this up, you and your secret crush are likely to be discovered. If you can live with that (and without your current BF when he finds out), play away! If not, stop before someone gets hurt.

DAVE Bill and I get letter after tearful letter from girls without BFs, and you have two! One guy per chick, please. You're playing with fire, and this is not something you should want to be known for. If word spreads about this, it might make the next guy think twice before getting into a relationship with you. Two BFs now could equal none later.

This is my first Christmas with a boyfriend, and I don't know what to get him. He's into football. Any ideas?

BILL Early in a relationship, a gift is more than just a gift--it's a message. If you want to keep things casual, get him a football video game. If you want a more serious relationship, make your gift an event--tickets on the 50-yard line to the team of his choice. And if you can get those seats, give me a call!

DAVE Bill covered the obvious, so I'll suggest the opposite. Everyone surely knows he's a football fanatic. He probably sits around the tree, opening presents and thinking, "Please, for the love of Peyton Manning, don't let this be another set of Upper Deck football cards." So your mission is to discover his hidden interests with sly questions about movies he tikes or memorable trips he's taken. In the end, you'll come across an idea for a unique gift he'll cherish because he'll know you put some thought into it.

I'm in a play with this guy, and he asked me out We had a great time and even kissed. But at rehearsal the next day, be ignored me. Is he embarrassed about me? If so, do I want him as a BF?

BILL The show must go on, but the relationship doesn't have to. Your co-star is surely dealing with lots of emotions--fear that you might reject him, anxiety about being onstage with you, nervousness about the kiss (was it his first?). Let him go at his own pace--as long as you don't find yourself Waiting for Godot.

DAVE Give your guy time to figure out how things should proceed. He clearly likes you--unless, of course, he was putting on a great performance. If that's the case, you're right--he doesn't fit the bill for a BF. Exit stage left.