IT'S THE '97 SEASON, WITH '82 COACHES.Byline: NORMAN CHAD Norman Chad is a Los Angeles-based sportswriter and syndicated columnist who is frequently seen on the sports channel ESPN. Alongside sportscaster Lon McEachern, Chad is perhaps the best-known commentator on the World Series of Poker for ESPN. Mike Ditka Michael Keller Ditka, Jr. (born October 18, 1939, in Carnegie, Pennsylvania) also known as Iron Mike Ditka or Da Coach, is a former American football NFL player, television commentator, and coach. Ditka coached the Chicago Bears for 11 years. , a.k.a homo neanderthalensis, and Dick Vermeil, a k a tyrannosaurus Tyrannosaurus (tīrăn'ōsôr`əs, tĭr–) [Gr.,=tyrant lizard], member of a family, Tyrannosauridae, of bipedal carnivorous saurischian dinosaurs characterized by having strong hind limbs, a muscular tail, and short rex, have crawled back to their natural habitat. On this opening NFL NFL abbr. National Football League NFL (US) n abbr (= National Football League) → Fußball-Nationalliga Sunday, they'll stand erect on opposite sidelines, two odd creatures from distant yesterdays determined to roll to boundless victories on not-so-distant tomorrows. Neither one is Super Bowl-bound again in this or any subsequent lifetime, but they'll both be pretty darn entertaining on the road to 6-10. Ditka and Vermeil ver·meil n. 1. Vermilion or a similar bright red color. 2. Gilded silver, bronze, or copper. adj. Bright red in color. have much in common: They both enjoyed coaching success with a single team, they both made it to one Super Bowl and they both turned to maddeningly mediocre careers in broadcasting. On NBC NBC in full National Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. , Ditka barked out bromides like, ``Turnovers will kill you,'' then wiped his mouth off on his shirt sleeve. On ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. , Vermeil was so relentlessly enthusiastic, he appeared to be one of those bobbing-head dolls on your dashboard. If Vermeil were any peppier, he'd come in a vial. Now, Ditka and Vermeil seemed destined des·tine tr.v. des·tined, des·tin·ing, des·tines 1. To determine beforehand; preordain: a foolish scheme destined to fail; a film destined to become a classic. 2. for misery in New Orleans and St. Louis. With the Saints, Ditka improbably retained interim head coach Rick Venturi as an assistant. Some guys are insecure about having ex-head coaches on their staff, but, then again, would you worry about Venturi venturi a tube with a decrease in the inside diameter that is used to increase the flow velocity of the fluid and thereby cause a pressure drop; used to measure the flow velocity (a venturimeter) or to draw another fluid into the stream. looking over your shoulder? With the Rams, the 60-year-old Vermeil has hired as assistants Mike White, 61, Jim Hanifan, 63, Bud Carson, 66, and Dick Coury, 67. This is exactly the coaching staff you'd want - if you were looking to turn around the 1973 Baltimore Colts. I don't want to say Vermeil is a relic, but his resume includes head coach, Philadelphia Eagles (1976-82) and recreation director, The Crusades (1095-99). Anyway, in this battle of bad teams, I'll go with New Orleans, a four-point underdog, at St. Louis. What, you think otherwise? Do you know who I am? Some guys are connected, some guys are wise and some guys are made. But only one guy is The Man. You're looking at him, pal. Let me remind you that my PUBLICLY DOCUMENTED record the past seven regular seasons has been 115-103-3, 117-99-7, 109-107-4, 112-108-1, 107-103-9, 118-111-8 and 118-117-3. Let me remind you that I'm picking against the point spread. And, finally, let me remind you - don't crowd me, The Man needs room. As always, all picks are for recreational purposes only and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wager: 49ers (-6) at Buccaneers Buccaneers can refer to:
adj. 1. Deficient in quantity, fullness, or extent; scanty. 2. Deficient in richness, fertility, or vigor; feeble: the meager soil of an eroded plain. 3. Buccaneers - 2-14, 6-10, 2-14, 2-14, 4-11, 5-11, 5-11, 6-10, 3-13, 5-11, 5-11, 6-10, 7-9 and 6-10 since 1983 - will be 9-7ish and playoff-ready! Pick: Buccaneers. Eagles (-2-1/2) at Giants: Giants coach Jim Fassel may be 0-0, but he's already a loser. Last Sunday he decides to make final player cuts by phone. In doing so - and this is a true story, my friends - he thinks he's talking to C Ryan Smith, but he's actually talking to LB Ryan Phillips, so he ends up cutting the wrong Ryan! The wrong Ryan tells Fassel; Fassel apologizes and asks him to put the right Ryan on the line. Yo, Jim, babe, see ya in Division I-AA in a couple of years Pick: Eagles. Cowboys (-1-1/2) at Steelers: Cowboys just announced new Tuesday routine: Game film in morning, surveillance video in afternoon. As expected, Cowboys' revamped shotgun formation features .38 revolver. Pick: Steelers. Redskins Redskins can refer to:
Jets at Seahawks (-6-1/2): Everybody's ``sexy pick'' this season is Seattle. But The Man - who usually abstains, somewhat involuntarily, from anything sexy - still sees the Seahawks as 7-9 stinkers. Pick: Jets. Bears at Packers (-15): What, QB Rick Mirer is benched because he can't pick up the Bears' complex system? Who's their offensive coordinator, Deep Blue? Pick: Packers. Chiefs at Broncos (-7): Chiefs' West Coast offense stymied in preseason because QB Elvis Grbac kept forgetting to switch his watch to Central time. Pick: Broncos. Chargers at Patriots (-6-1/2): It says here New England QB Drew Bledsoe passes his way to a 5,000-yard season. Anyone got a problem with that? Pick: Patriots. Vikings at Bills (-3): Not only have Bills scrapped no-huddle offense, players don't even use exact-change lane on New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of Thruway. Pick: Vikings. Colts at Dolphins (-6-1/2): As part of continued youth movement, Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson hired Doogie Howser as team trainer. Pick: Colts. Falcons at Lions (-7): Lions somewhat taken aback in offseason when QB Scott Mitchell negotiated a ``quicksand quicksand State in which water-saturated sand loses its supporting capacity and acquires the characteristics of a liquid. Quicksand is usually found in a hollow at the mouth of a large river or along a flat stretch of stream or beach where pools of water become partly filled clause.'' Pick: Falcons. Raiders (-2-1/2) at Oilers: QB Jeff George is now a Raider? That's like Charles Manson joining the Hell's Angels. Pick: Oilers. Jaguars (-2-1/2) at Ravens: Jaguars coach Tom Coughlin is so tough, he imposed 11 p.m. curfew this week on Ravens. Pick: Ravens. Cardinals at Bengals (-8): Page 146 of Cardinals' new playbook: ``Roll over and play dead.'' Pick: Bengals. CAPTION(S): Photo Photo: As broadcaster Mike Ditka rarely caught the viewer's attention. As the new head coach of the Saints, Mike Ditka has the power to demand the ear of anyone in a New Orleans uniform. Associated Press |
|
||||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion