IT'S NOT EXERCISE - IT'S RECESS.

Byline: Evan Henerson Staff Writer

When he wrote the lyric ``You Gotta Have a Gimmick'' for the 1959 musical ``Gypsy,'' composer Stephen Sondheim was referring to the art of strip tease, not fitness. If he had witnessed the wacky workouts now available in Los Angeles and written an anthem about them, its title would probably be ``You Gotta Be Kidding.''

Who needs a run at the beach or a boring old spinning class when your health club ID gives you access to aerobic go-go dancing or when you can rise with the sun for six weeks of pound shedding at Castaldi's Killer Boot Camp? A police academy graduate can take you through what the cops experience during training. Ditto, a firefighter.

There's rock climbing, trampolines and every imaginable form of yoga. Salsa is a workout, as are hip hop and belly dancing. If Tae-Bo leaves you tae-bored, there are dozens of other martial arts options. Pick the right gym and you'll be pumping free weights next door to a class with live drumming or next to men and women contorting themselves on a circus trapeze.

Not yet intrigued? So develop your own. And if you're enterprising enough, the fitness director of the trendiest club might ask you to come teach it. As long as it gets the heart pumping or the muscles limber without injuring your students, chances are you'll find a market. This is, after all, L.A.

``I have fitness directors in each city,'' says Donna Cyrus, national group fitness director for Crunch. ``It's their job to excite people into trying something new because they realize they'll get better overall notoriety.

``A lot of our instructors are actors and performers. New York and Los Angeles tend to be the most creatively driven locations.''

You might say that. Run down the list of classes at Crunch's ultra trendy Sunset Boulevard club and be prepared to furrow your brows. Alongside the familiar cycling, yoga and stretch classes - what Cyrus calls the ``meat and potatoes'' offerings - you'll find listings for ``Chi Glow,'' (a cardio workout where participants use glow sticks) ``SynerQi'' (self defense, Qigong hybrid) and ``Circus Sports'' (more on this later).

In many cases, a new class is a twist on an old standard. Take Karaoke Ride, a now-defunct class that was given a, er, spin in Los Angeles before falling off the books (although the class is still taught in New York clubs). Spinning gives you one kind of a workout, but if you sing while you pedal, you'll be expending more energy (and by workout's end, you'll have earned that pink complexion in more ways than one).

Other oddball workouts aren't exactly new, just newly offered in gyms. Remember, most of these forms of marital arts and yoga that are sprouting up like so many rows of wheat grass have been in existence for hundreds of years.

Christine Ekeroth, editor of ACE FitnessMatters Magazine for the American Council on Exercise says she has spotted a couple of trends. The first might be considered the ``he's not so cool - I could do that'' wish- fulfillment workout. By going through the actual training experienced by a Navy SEAL or a New York Jets linebacker, we get to feel what it's like to be that person or elite athlete.

``There's escapism in that,'' said Ekeroth. ``These wanna-be athletes and sports heroes are in these gyms and this is as close as they're going to get to participating on a real team.''

And if the reality TV blitz continues, Ekeroth contends, expect ``Survivor: The Workout'' at an island near you.

Another workout trend is exactly the opposite of hard-core athleticism, says Ekeroth. Since many gym rats spend the majority of their professional existence behind a desk, many of the new workouts seem to be incorporating elements of play. Between skipping groups and aerobic jump roping, is it any wonder that a Crunch facility once offered a class - no longer available - called ``Recess''?

``There's even a class in Atlanta where they teach you how to climb trees,'' Ekeroth says. ``The idea is that you're not really experiencing a workout. It just feels like you're playing.''

Other activities that seem new are simply recycled for a new workout- thirsty public. ``Urban Rebounding'' at Crunch has nothing to do with basketball or rappelling yourself off building facades. (Hint: Think clowns going ``boing!'')

``They've brought back those mini-trampolines that were popular in the mid-1980s. One of the Crunch instructors came up with a class using that,'' said Richard Cotton, exercise physiologist and spokesman for the American Council on Exercise. ``I was a little surprised to see that.''

When it comes to actually assembling a schedule, fitness directors say it's not difficult to separate the legitimate workouts from the gimmicks. Classes that aren't popular won't stick around. Others drop off the schedule when an instructor is no longer available. Sports Club/LA's popular Masala Bhangra workout, based on the exotic folk dance of India, became Sports Club/New York's gain when workout developer Sarina Jain relocated to the East Coast.

``That one started as a specialty class, and it got so popular that we threw it on the schedule,'' says Scott Cameron Brown, group exercise manager for Sports Club/LA. ``Belly dancing became so popular, and that became the next step.''

Instructor Dolphina teaches her Goddess workout, a combination of yoga and belly dancing, at both Crunch and Bodies in Motion in Santa Monica. Between the shimmying, exposed midriffs and the veils, Dolphina says that hers has become one of the most popular spectator classes at Crunch.

``It's a total body workout, which surprises a lot of people,'' says Dolphina. ``When people hear about belly dance, they think of just the belly and the abs.''

While she doesn't take credit for originating the civilian boot camp workout - that honor probably goes to Patrick Avon, a k a ``Sarge,'' in Washington, D.C. - Tina Castaldi gives it her own spin. A six-week program where ``recruits'' meet at 5:30 a.m. at Wildwood Canyon Park in Burbank, the boot camp gets people doing sprints, crunches, relay races and jumping jacks. Castaldi takes ``before and after'' photos and gets her trainees thinking about nutrition.

And even though she dresses in combat fatigues and has her trainees call her ``Master Chief,'' Castaldi says her workout is about getting results while having fun.

``Mine is 'Private Benjamin' meets 'Stripes' meets Susan Powter with an edge,'' says Castaldi, a certified fitness instructor as well as an actress and stuntwoman at Universal Studios. ``The problem with clients at a gym is that they think it's work. I think recess.''

Before dipping your toe into any new workout waters, fitness experts recommend observing the class or the workout to determine if it's going to be a good fit. Highly specialized classes may be too advanced for a beginner.

On a recent Saturday afternoon, Aaron Porter of Studio City was both an observer and participant during the Circus Sports class at Crunch. The turnout that day was small, and all of the class members had extensive training in gymnastics. After 10 to 15 minutes of warm-ups, they were somersaulting, vaulting and contorting themselves on a trapeze.

A dancer and dance instructor trained in ballet and jazz, Porter said he was considering joining Crunch on the basis of the circus class alone.

``This is the only thing that works the upper body,'' he said.

Despite the presence of some impossibly flexible bodies, co-instructors Bob Carreiro and David St. Pierre - both champion gymnasts - say the workout can be tailored to all ages and abilities.

``We get women in their 50s. It's outrageous,'' says Carreiro who also operates a fitness studio in Los Angeles that emphasizes circus gymnastics. ``You can't feel old while you're doing this.''

WACKY WORKOUTS

Here are a few places where workouts go beyond the norm:

Crunch, 8000 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, [phone], [phone].

Bodies in Motion, 17031 Ventura Blvd., Encino, [phone]; 2730 Santa Monica Blvd., Santa Monica, [phone].

The Sports Club/LA, 1835 Sepulveda Blvd., West L.A., [phone].

Castaldi's Killer Boot Camp, [phone].

Robert Carreiro Physical Fitness Studio, 722 N. La Cienega Blvd., [phone].

CAPTION(S):

5 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- 2 -- cover -- color) FUNKY FITNESS

Trapeze and other fun classes take the `work' out of workouts

(3 -- color) Guided by instructor Bob Carreiro, second from right, Aaron Porter stretches on the rings at a Circus Sports class.

(4 -- color) The Circus Sports class at Crunch includes somersaulting, vaulting and work on the trapeze.

(5 -- color) Participants like the upper-body workout the Circus Sports class provides.

Eric Grigorian/Special to the Daily News

Box: Wacky Workouts (see text)