IT'S ABOUT THE WORK WHEN CAMERAS OFF.

Byline: WILLIAM R. PAXTON Local View

I'M a little worried about our mayor.

No, it's not because of the seemingly ever-growing list of promises that he has made that he will never be able to keep (though if he adds ``end world hunger'' to that list I'll swear I'm listening to a Miss America finalist).

On the contrary, I'm concerned about the pace of public appearances that Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is keeping. Some of the local media outlets are purported to have obtained copies of the mayor's typical daily agenda, but these don't do the man justice. I have been lucky to obtain an actual copy of one of our mayor's daily agendas, which I would like to share with you:

5 a.m. Shower, haircut, apply hair gel and teeth whitener. Lay out supply of clean, long-sleeve white shirts for day.

5:30 a.m. Begin intravenous green tea nutritional regimen to ensure maximum caffeine intake and prevent visible fatigue during media stops.

6 a.m. Staff meeting, emphasizing goal of three photo ops per hour.

6:30 a.m. Begin first of nine pancake breakfasts, flipping no more than three flapjacks per event.

7-9:30 a.m. Smile, pose and eat pancakes.

10 a.m. Run 5K to burn off massive caloric intake of pancakes and reduce caffeine-induced hypertension.

11 a.m. Shower, haircut, apply hair gel and teeth whitener. New clean white shirt.

11:30 a.m. Begin series of quick lunch stops across state in order to meet the most influential political backers in the shortest amount of time.

12:30 p.m. Remind staff to have mayor use the ``I'm on the 2 yard line and I want the ball'' analogy for any applicable issues, including takeover of LAUSD.

1 p.m. Assemble crisis-management team to address failure to meet goal of three photo ops per hour.

1:10 p.m. Alternative plan created: Airlift mayor out of Los Angeles, fly over accident scene looking concerned, then land in suburbs and cruise neighborhoods looking for birthday parties, store openings, etc. Emphasis on cameras being present.

3 p.m. Begin work on 15th draft of speech titled: ``To The Citizens of Council District 14, I Was Just Kidding When I Promised to Serve Out My Full Term.''

4-5 p.m. Back to office, have staff consolidate all local news events and map out strategy to have mayor on the scene in control at most newsworthy events.

5:30-11:30 p.m. Show up at all newsworthy events in town, being sure to use the clever ``I'm on the 2 yard line and I want the ball'' line as much as possible. Last shower, haircut and application of hair gel and teeth whitener. Quick stop at home to pick up extra clean white shirts when supply runs dangerously low.

Midnight: Disconnect green-tea IV, sleep for five hours, dream of ways to make ``Your next president'' and ``Villaraigosa'' rhyme.

Whew. Try that for seven days, will ya? Maybe it would be better to slow it down just a bit, Mr. Mayor. It's for your own good, and ours, too.

After all, as any truly great statesman knows, it's not about the show that you put on when the cameras are rolling. It's about the work that you do when they are off that really matters.