IT'S CHRISTMAS. FA LA LA LA LA - HEY, LADY.

Byline: Carol Rock

I love the holidays. Festive decorations, hustle and bustle and carolers singing in the mall make me a happy person, willing to offer plastic and coin for gifts to fill stockings and tree bottoms.

But wait. Since when have the words to ``Silent Night'' included ``What kind of makeup do you wear? or ``Do you want a massage?''

Shoppers these days face a situation that gives Ebenezer Scrooge credibility. In days of old, there were wide open spaces where shoppers mingled and entertainers soothed our shopping stress with songs of the season.

Now, much like the former wilderness around the mall, there are no wide open spaces.

Instead of vast walkways between the stores, where one could easily buy Uncle Joe a robe at one shop, then cross to purchase a toy for little Sally, there are human barriers, lurking near wagons ubiquitously installed end to end like a center divider in the highway of commerce. Lacking walls, the vendors are forced to assault innocent passers-by, hawking their wares like the $5 purse guys near Times Square.

Without the New York charm, I might add.

When I'm shopping, the last thing I want is someone shouting at me. It cramps the spirit and makes me feel much less goodwill toward anyone. Makes ``Bah Humbug'' my new mantra.

Stores have doors where shoppers choose to either go in or pass by. Kiosks take away that option, making someone vulnerable to a sales pitch for something they may not need, use or especially want.

I feel sorry for the people working at the kiosks, too. Their job is to sell merchandise by foisting it on the unsuspecting public, so they have to have an unending supply of enthusiasm. I applaud that spirit. But their required effervescence is often met by indifference or rejection, which makes me - and all the other people trying to duck and weave their way through the mall - the bad guys.

How the heck did THAT happen? I'm the customer that the mall people are supposed to please and I'm feeling bad because a) I have to avoid eye contact because ``No, thank you'' no longer works; b) In most cases, I don't want what they're selling; and c) If I want to look at what's on the kiosk, the salespeople are all over me like a cheap suit, making me feel even worse if I walk away emptyhanded.

I don't get that at The Gap.

They even thank me for coming in.

I don't like being rude to people. I'm generally pretty positive, optimistic and happy. On occasion, I've been known to shop at open air markets where I expect to have someone bleat the benefits of their wares. In that setting, I roll with the punches.

But when I need to get from jewelry store to the food court by running a gauntlet of shouting wall-free shopkeepers, it makes my shopping experience less than fun.

In fact, it makes me want to escape to the solitude of my car and drive to a kiosk-free center.

Hmmm. Are the giants of commerce listening? Or are the hawkers drowning them out?