IN THIS `OUT-OF-TOWNERS,' AMPLE TALENT SQUANDERED.

Byline: Marla Matzer Daily News Staff Writer

What made ``The Out-of-Towners'' appealing in 1970 also makes it appealing in 1999. It's a fish-out-of-water story about something most of us can relate to: what it's like to fight the big city - and have the city win. It also showcases two likable stars - in this case, Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn.

Unfortunately, what made the original unappealing still makes it a little hard to take today. The new movie, based on Neil Simon's script for the Jack Lemmon-Sandy Dennis version, is basically a series of harrowing events in search of a story. After the first 45 minutes (or possibly sooner), part of you just wants the beleaguered protagonists to admit defeat, turn tail and get the heck out of New York.

Of course, then you wouldn't have a movie. And for all its faults, this new film does have its moments and fills a need for a light, adult comedy. It's just too bad that it's not better, given all the talent involved.

As Henry Clark, Martin subdues his wacky side to portray a middle-age suburbanite who's a little tired of life - and too proud to tell his wife that he's lost his job as an advertising executive to a younger man.

Martin's subtlety comes at the expense of his wackier side, for which he's best-known. The TV ad for the movie highlights the one scene where Martin really gets to cut loose: After unknowingly ingesting a hallucinogen, Martin is lovestruck in Central Park, running after a young woman and calling out to Hawn, ``Honey, let's do her!'' (actually, the line has been altered in the ad so that Martin says, ``Let's get her!'').

Hawn is Nancy Clark, Henry's sensitive and somewhat ditsy wife. After their youngest son (played by Hawn's real-life son) leaves the nest, Hawn wants to ``suck the marrow out of life'' and take on new challenges and opportunities. Henry, of course, wants none of it.

Hawn is good, as usual, and looks lovely (so much so, in fact, that one wonders why it was deemed necessary in several scenes to shoot her in soft focus). But whereas Martin's character may stray too far from his specialty to really delight, we've seen Hawn play this character before. In fact, we've seen a lot of women play this character before - the free-spirited girl who eggs her man on to new things.

The two go to New York to visit their older daughter and so Henry can interview for a job. Unbeknownst to Nancy, Henry really needs the job. Together, the couple experiences the Ten Plagues of New York City. These include transportation woes, not having enough money, getting mugged and stumbling into a kinky group therapy session.

It's possible to portray such a series of woes and make it screamingly funny. But it requires going for broke, something this movie never does.

As a prime representative of caustic British humor, John Cleese almost pulls off this kind of transcendence in his few scenes. Playing a condescending and secretly cross-dressing hotel manager, Cleese gives the movie a kick in the pants whenever he's on screen.

In the end, of course, everything is neatly wrapped up and everyone is happy. The filmmakers miss an opportunity to give the end a twist, but then, that's probably too much to ask of a remake.

THE FACTS

The film: ``The Out-of-Towners'' (PG-13; sex-related situations).

The stars: Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, John Cleese.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Sam Weisman. Written by Marc Lawrence. Produced by Robert Evans, Teri Schwartz, Robert Cort and David Madden.

Running time: One hour, 30 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Two and one half stars.

CAPTION(S):

Photo

Photo: Goldie Hawn, John Cleese and Steve Martin star in the remake of ``The Out-of-Towners.''