I wouldn't let TMJ pain overtake me.

My life had deteriorated into a shambles of excruciating headache and neck pain 24 hours a day. I found myself on a bizarre merry-go-round going from doctors of every imaginable specialty, to pain clinics, to physical therapists, to electrical stimulation experts, to stress therapists, always trying to grab hold of that elusive golden ring that would free me from my prison of torment.

Nine doctors and three years later, (not to mention spending thousands), I found my world closing in tighter and tighter around me. Cool air on my head caused shooting, torturous pain. Applause brutalized my ears. Chewy or crispy food brought on jaw spasms. Ringing phones drove me crazy. Even the sound of running water left me crumpled in tears.

My condition had been pinned down--TMJ, temporomandibular joint syndrome, a disorder of the jaw joint. But what could I do about it? Some doctors recommended drastic major surgery that included breaking and repositioning both the upper and lower jaws, but none promised that surgery would bring relief from the constant pain.

That's when I resolved to somehow learn to help myself.

The one common thread that ran through all the advice I had received from health professionals was that TMJ is a stress disorder. I researched, studied, and practiced every approach I could find to alleviate stress. It soon became obvious that no one thing brought relief but, rather, dozens of seemingly small lifestyle changes.

A real breakthrough came when I found a dentist who fitted me with a simple mouth appliance that repositioned the jaw, helping to relieve joint pressure. Bite plates that fit over either the top or bottom teeth can be worn at night. This allows the jaw to relax from the stress that causes clenched or grinding teeth. Keeping the teeth apart breaks the pain cycle. Relief occurred within days.

The bite plate (or splint) along with treatment and several stress management techniques worked wonders as a result. I developed a number of practical things a TMJ sufferer can use to further reduce the threat of pain.

* Breathe while chewing Many people hold their breath while chewing, depriving the muscles of needed oxygen. The result? Muscles tire more easily.

* Add more calcium to the diet to help repair bone damage caused by TMJ. Vitamins B and C also aid in the healing process.

* Drink liquids through a straw to prevent pressure on the jaw caused by drinking from the rim of a glass. Cut food into small pieces and eat sandwiches with a knife and fork, rather than biting into them. Also, avoid biting into foods such as an apple with only your front teeth, since it will strain the joint. Shun hard-to-chew foods--meat, raw vegetables, hard bread, peanuts, candies.

* Throughout the day, practice letting your jaw relax with your lips together and teeth apart. This allows the jaw to relax.

* Refrain from holding the phone between your chin and shoulder to avoid extra pressure.

* Don't slouch. It puts an abnormal strain on all muscles and directly affects the joint.

* Avoid carrying heavy shoulder bags.

* Sleep on your back or side to avoid misalignment of the jaw. Sleeping on your stomach puts added pressure on the jaw and neck muscles.

* Don't lie across a bed, on floor cushions, or propped up on the couch to watch television or read.

* Find a qualified health professional to treat the problem. Make sure he or she has specific experience with TMJ. Not all dentists have special training to treat TMJ.

* To soothe pain, massage the neck, scalp, and around the ears. Use moist heat or ice packs on the affected area. Heat works better for some, ice for others, or alternating them is often effective. It is important, though, not to use either more than 15 minutes out of every hour.

The underlying cause of TMJ is often difficult to diagnose accurately. Anyone, however, can try these approaches for symptomatic relief without fear or danger. I came back from a point in my life when I thought I'd never be free from pain again. And yes, from time to time, my TMJ "trigger" signals, and I have to take stock to find out what's throwing me into stress override.

My triumph led me to establish a helping ministry for TMJ sufferers. It includes:

1. "The Serenity Solution," a seminar that teaches participants how to keep stress low and energy high.

2. MyoData, a company that writes and distributes patient education materials and marketing systems for health-care professionals who treat TMJ patients.

3. The TMJ and Stress Center in Dallas, which I founded in 1989. It supports TMJ sufferers by making free packets of information available upon request and letting them know about booklets, books, audiotapes, and other educational materials that are available, such as the tape and workbook package "TMJ Pain Control: A Self-Help Program." It includes self-diagnosing exercises to test for TMJ along with effective facial exercise. Sufferers can also receive referrals to dentists and health-care professionals in their area who specialize in TMJ.

One sufferer who contacted me at the center said she couldn't go on living with the TMJ pain. She had decided that suicide was the only solution. In fact, she had already written farewell letters to her family. Carbon monoxide poisoning was the choice she had made. She was on her way to the garage, where she already had the car motor running, when she noticed a scrap of paper on which she had scribbled the phone number of the TMJ and Stress Center. "I heard you on a radio program last week and forgot to call. The center is the only thing I haven't tried. Can you help me?"

Over the next 45 minutes, the TMJ sufferer shared her story. She began to respond as I gave her tips on ways to ease her pain. I suggested names of TMJ specialists in her area who would be able to treat her. I was elated--and relieved--when she said, "It's great talking to someone who understands what I'm going through. My family thinks I'm crazy. The doctors say it's all in my head. I guess I haven't tried everything after all. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I feel like a new person."

With God's help and self-education my life was transformed and reclaimed when I discovered how to live free of pain. I want to let others suffering with this condition know that there is hope and help. With a third of the population searching for an answer to this problem, I have a lot of work to do to spread the word!