I WONDER WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE ... EEK IT'S ALIVE.

Byline: Warren Epstein Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph

In the dark recesses of our refrigerators, life forms sprout and spore, spreading tentaclelike over forgotten leftovers.

It's a place of fear, dread and awful smells.

We recently asked readers to tell us about the gross stuff hidden in their refrigerators and freezers. Their responses are the stuff of Stephen King stories.

One woman had an antelope head and a 30-year-old trout in her freezer.

One guy had a stew in his fridge that oozed the kind of thick slime Steve McQueen fought in "The Blob."

Another had ancient Chinese takeout that had become so gross, he was terrified to even go near his fridge anymore.

The time has come to put aside our fears and face the great spoiled unknown that lurks behind these closed doors.

Professor Jim Mattoon isn't afraid.

He grins as he peers under a Tupperware lid.

"Ah, what beautiful penicillium," he bubbles.

Mattoon, a stooped man in thick wire-rim spectacles, runs the biotechnology center at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. We enlisted his help to find out what's happening with these refrigerated science projects we once called food.

Under a microscope, he examines the green slime growing on the rotten green potato stew submitted by a reader.

"Yes, indeed, we have some critters in here," he says as he watches clusters of little circles - yeast cells - floating across his slide.

After growing cultures from four fridge samples, Mattoon not only finds lots of bacteria, he finds numerous species of bacteria.

All the samples have at least two kinds of bacteria, and the stew has so many kinds, Mattoon can't even catalog them all. The stew also has lots of yeast and mold growing on it, Mattoon says.

The spoiled stew was submitted by Richard Behl, a 28-year-old Colorado Springs computer operator.

Behl has been separated from his wife since April. She was the one who had pulled mold patrol, cleaning out the dead food from the fridge.

Now, since Behl usually eats out, the few leftovers that end up in the fridge are often forgotten.

"Then, after something's in there for so long, I don't even want to go near it," he says.

Behl has lots of company.

Whirlpool recently conducted a survey that indicates America's fridge-cleaning habits are less than diligent.

Eighteen percent of the respondents reported cleaning out their refrigerator only twice a year, 5 percent hit the shelves once a year, and 3 percent said they never clean out the fridge.

Whirlpool also staffed a consumer answer line and received more than 1,000 questions about food spoilage. Whirlpool spokeswoman Susan Weiss says she was shocked so many folks imagine that time stops inside their refrigerators.

"People think if you stick it in the refrigerator, it'll last forever, and it won't," she says. "When I tell people cold cuts only last three or four days in the refrigerator, they're astounded. Even if it smells OK, that doesn't mean it is OK. Our rule is, when in doubt, throw it out."

Vegetables vary more in their rate of decay. Many veggies can last a long time if properly stored. But they go bad, too.

Colorado Springs respiratory therapist Norbert Chanley learned that lesson after he returned from a vacation and found a cucumber in the back of his crisper drawer that he thought might go well in his salad.

"It still looked green," he says. "I poked it with a knife and it let out this noxious gas. Then it started oozing this liquid slime."

Freezers can slow the decay of food better, but even they have limits.

Melba Robinson went a bit beyond those limits when she stored a trout in her freezer. It was the first fish her daughter ever caught ... back in 1965.

Now, the fish is dry, shriveled, eyeless and toothless. It recently fell from the freezer and broke in half, and Robinson's cat started eating it. Still she won't throw it out.

"My daughter caught it," she says. "I can't throw it out."

So there it lies, beside an antelope head from her son's 1994 hunting trip.

"He wanted to mount it, but he didn't have the money," she says. "So he threw it in Mom's freezer."

Mattoon should have the time of his life if Robinson keeps the head for another 28 years.

If you have an Unidentified Food Object in your fridge, for heaven's sake, DON'T EAT IT!

Even if it smells OK, DON'T EAT IT! Don't even feed it to your dog! Food poisoning from spoiled stuff can be deadly.

Here are some conservative refrigerator storage guidelines provided by the Whirlpool HomeLife Network: Cooked poultry, one to two days; ground beef, one to two; fish, one; hot dogs, three to five; pizza, one to three; cold cuts, three to five, and bread, two to three.

These guidelines assume packages have been opened before expiration dates and the food has been stored properly in airtight containers.