I Am Zipporah.

Women of the world, hear this: the Ten Commandments are for men only. Yes, that's right. Listen to my words and grin.

When God told my husband what preparations the people had to make before he'd appear to them on Mount Sinai, it was very clear that "the people" meant only the men. First of all, Moses didn't even bother to tell any of us, the women, what was going on. Second, one of those preparations was "come not at your wives." Women don't have wives, do they?

If this isn't enough to convince you, that's okay. Let's look at some of those commandments.

Number three, for instance: "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy; six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: but the seventh day ... thou shalt not do any work." This commandment is impossible for women to follow. Much of our work--childcare, especially--can't be ignored, ever, let alone for a whole day on a regular and scheduled basis.

I can just hear us try: "Now kids, listen up. Tomorrow is the sabbath. So, you there with the chubby little legs, give up on trying to walk tomorrow, because if you fall down I can't pick you up and get you going again. No, you'll just have to lie there, face in the floor, all day. And you older one, if the boys around the corner beat you up tomorrow, well, too bad. And you over there in the crib, try not to mess tomorrow, okay, because I can't change your diaper. And you, the one with a thousand questions a minute, tomorrow, don't you wonder about anything."

And what about commandment number six: "Thou shalt not commit adultery"? Women didn't have to be told this; we knew that another man's child would be disowned (if not killed) by our husband, so monogamy was a very practical, ethical practice. Know what I mean? The men, on the other hand, didn't have to worry. Their concern for children tended to extend only to their own (even though they couldn't ever be sure just which ones those were). And since venereal disease was epidemic, this commandment was given--to them.

Commandment seven: "Thou shalt not steal." Now why would women steal when we weren't allowed to own property? We were property!

Commandment eight: "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." This is another silly one for women. We were non-persons. We weren't allowed to bear any witness, false or true.

Commandment ten: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." I don't think God was talking to the lesbians among us.

So since the Ten Commandments were for men only, I thought we women should make up our own set--you know, for women only. For starters, I propose the following list to be passed around; discussed with your ladies' auxiliary, your consciousness-raising group, your collective; and then revised, refined, added to, deleted from, substituted, whatever:

1. Seek to maximize the joy of life for yourself and others.

2. Temper justice with mercy and compassion, at all times calling upon your reason and your feeling to guide you.

3. Never love unconditionally; human sacrifice has never been blessed.

4. Remember that the basis of morality is care and communication.

5. Act in accordance to the rule of reciprosity: if you give, you are entitled to get; if you deprive, you will be deprived. This applies to all relationships--person to person, people to people, people to planet.

6. Rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. Exercise your rights only to the extent that you accept the responsibilities that go with them.

7. Make your choices carefully, for no choice is without consequence.

8. Remember that peace involves freedom, freedom involves compromise.

These commandments are neither abstracts nor absolutes and are to be interpreted according to your own context and circumstance. And when the women of the world reach agreement on a final list of our own commandments, together we'll weave them into a tapestry of scarlet and gold.

Chris Wind has received several Ontario Arts Council grants for her writing and has been published in magazines and journals mostly in Canada. This column is adapted from her book, Satellites Out of Orbit.