How quickly people change in soapland; Soap watch.
And just when you thought things couldn't get any stranger in Brookside, especially in the Corkhill household, after Jimmy's highly amusing breakdown last week, whispering Jackie and sultry Shelley - wait for it - end up having a bit of a snog on Jackie's double bed.
Erm, hello? Now we all know Shelley likes to holiday on the isle of Lesbania, but Jackie Corkhill? They'll be having Ron and Mick at it next.
When Lindsey left her blubbering mum to go away on a training course, Shelley eagerly promised to keep an eye on Jackie. Now we know why. So is Jackie going to start wearing dungarees, downing pints and listening to kd Lang?
It's unlikely, but then again sleeping with loony Jimmy Corkhill and loser Ron Dixon would be enough to turn anyone gay.
Also in Brookie, a drunken Susannah is so desperate to see dishy Dr Darren she pretends Harry is ill so he has to visit her. Hmm, clever.
The woman is obsessed with the doc and doesn't care who she hurts in the process - Mick, Max, Jacqui.
If she doesn't watch out she'll be getting herself murdered in, ooh ... a matter of weeks.
Up in Coronation Street, love is in the air as Curly and Emma, Maxine and Ashley and Fred and Audrey head off for their holiday in Paris.
After all the dramas at Freshco, it's just what they all need. Expect lots of comedy moments as Audrey tries to speak the lingo and Fred stuffs his face with a nice bit of horse.
Meanwhile, the dogs' dinner that is Liz McDonald takes up residence in the street again to sort out her mess of a family. Hopefully she won't stay around for long. If we're lucky she may totter off her six inch heels and fall into the Manchester Ship Canal never to be seen again. Let's just pray they don't bring monkey boy Andy McDonald back as well.
Over in EastEnders, Pat is racked with guilt when dullard Roy returns to Walford and she starts making secret plans with Frank about running away together.
Honestly. I mean just what exactly is going on in her head? After all Frank has done in the past - ie, disappearing off the face of the earth, leaving her to look after his miserable kids, including the ratty-faced Janine mark one - I'm surprised she'd even give him a second thought.
How quickly they forget in the land of soap ...
Also, Mel finally admits her true feelings for Steve - but is she too late?
And the Slater girls still want to set up their dad with misery guts Pauline Fowler. Do they know what they are letting him in for? Smile woman - it doesn't hurt. Okay, you've had a hard life, but so have we watching you.
In the panto that is Emmerdale, there is another ridiculous storyline as barmaid Tricia - who is going out with Marlon - agrees to marry gay Aussie Joe so he can stay in the country to be with boyfriend Jason, who is Paddy's brother.
Keep up. Whilst she - being a bit simple - can't see any problem, Marlon is understandably upset. This one is going to drag on.
Plus, there's trouble in store for Diane Blackstock when her estranged husband - who she hasn't seen for 26 years - turns up in the village. It's a bit of a shocker for Bernice too, as she hasn't seen him since she was a baby.
If Bernice is lucky he may have a bit of cash so he'll be able to pay for those acting lessons.
In Hollyoaks, Luke's rape case finally goes to trial. Prepare for lots of lip quivering and tears. Cindy can't find a babysitter for her daughter Holly, but is so desperate to keep her bar job, she beds the toddler down in the cellar of the nightclub.
But Holly wakes up and finds an ecstasy tablet on the cellar floor and swallows it.
Another cheery week in the world of soaps then. Don'tcha just love it?