Hopeless, romantic.

In reading Neal Broverman's article "Dumped Again? Curses!" [August 15], I was surprised to know I wasn't the only gay guy on the planet with the same ideas of love and relationships. As a 21-year-old, I have found it impossible to find anyone who is willing to be in a relationship with me unless I am willing to give it up within the first week of knowing them. Once they know I am unwilling to have sex unless we are in a long-term, monogamous relationship, they rim for the hills. As a hopeless romantic who was raised watching old black-and-white movies, I was disheartened to find out that old-fashioned love is really dead and those kinds of views are a thing of the past. I understand that with two men it does change how a relationship works, but I still believe love is love regardless of gender or sexuality and that gay men who want more than a fuck buddy or one-night stand should be treated less as a black sheep and more as a role model for how we, the gay community, should really act.

Neal, maybe we can take in a movie. How's An Affair to Remember sound?

SCOTT GODBY Taylor Hill, Ky.

I've got news for you, Neal: It doesn't get any easier in your 30s. Besides, why wait for a Mr. Right that may never come along to start your life? A few years ago, when I was in my late 20s, I complained to one of my friends that I was never going to find a guy who wants a monogamous relationship and kids like I do. She asked, "Why do you need somebody'?" and she was right. Once I established myself in my career, I bought a house and fixed it up. Now I'm in the process of looking for a surrogate, since I can't legally adopt in my state. If a guy comes along who wants to be a part of what I have to offer, then I'll definitely have room for him in my heart--although we might need to buy a bigger house.

AARON ELKINS Dunedin, Fla.

I have to laugh--the "gay curse"? Get over it. Gays in their 20s are clothes-addicted, money-hungry men caught up in their perceived self-importance who wouldn't know a real man if they tripped over one coming home at 5 A.M. in a drug-and-alcohol stupor from a night fornicating with other 20-something gay men. Let's talk about 40-something men living alone and not getting dates because all the men your age are out chasing these twinks who want nothing to do with older men unless they have a fat bank account. The reality? In gay years, 43 is 86, and if you don't have looks and money, you may as well kill yourself. Now that's a curse.

S.A. BURR Kennebunk, Maine