Highbrow Hand Tool Theatre.GOOD EVENING, HAND TOOL DEVOTEES, WELCOME TO ANOTHER EXCEEDINGLY STUFFY EPISODE OF HIGHBROW high·brow adj. also high·browed Of, relating to, or being highly cultured or intellectual: They only attend highbrow events such as the ballet or the opera. n. HAND TOOL THEATRE. I'M ALISTAIR RACHET, YOUR POMPOUS pom·pous adj. 1. Characterized by excessive self-esteem or exaggerated dignity; pretentious: pompous officials who enjoy giving orders. 2. HOST. TONIGHT'S EAGERLY AWAITED INSTALLMENT SHALL BEGIN PRESENTLY. BUT FIRST, LET US PAUSE FOR A MOMENT OF CALM REFLECTION ON THE CORRECT USE OF HAND TOOLS. ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY SNATCH UP Verb 1. snatch up - to grasp hastily or eagerly; "Before I could stop him the dog snatched the ham bone" snatch, snap clutch, prehend, seize - take hold of; grab; "The sales clerk quickly seized the money on the counter"; "She clutched her purse"; "The A HAND TOOL AND START BRANDISHING IT ABOUT. HOW VULGAR. AFTER, ALL, WE'RE NOT BARBARIANS. A TOOL IS AN ENGINEERING MARVEL, A WORK OF ART, A THING OF BEAUTY THAT IS A JOY FOREVER. TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN HOW TO USE IT IN A CIVILIZED, PROPER MANNER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! CONSIDER THE OPEN-ENDED ADJUSTABLE WRENCH wrench or spanner Tool, usually operated by hand, for tightening bolts and nuts. A wrench basically consists of a lever with a notch at one or both ends for gripping the bolt or nut so that it can be twisted by a pull at right angles to the axes of the lever , FOR EXAMPLE. A TRIUMPH OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION Noun 1. Western civilization - the modern culture of western Europe and North America; "when Ghandi was asked what he thought of Western civilization he said he thought it would be a good idea" Western culture . PONDER THESE FINE POINTS OF USING THE WRENCH ... 1. TURN THE ADJUSTMENT SCREW UNTIL THE JAWS ARE WIDE ENOUGH TO FIT AROUND THE NUT OR BOLT. 2. POSITION THE WRENCH SO THAT THE LOAD OR FORCE IS APPLIED TO THE FIXED JAW. THE FIXED JAW TAKES ON THE HEAVY WORK. THE MOVEABLE JAW HELPS TO GRIP THE NUT OR BOLT. HERE'S THE RULE, WHEN YOU PULL THE WRENCH TOWARD YOU, THE FIXED JAW SHOULD BE AWAY FROM YOU. IWHEN YOU PUSH AWAY FROM YOU, THE FIXED JAW SHOULD BE TOWARD YOU. 3. ONCE THE WRENCH IS IN PLACE, TURN THE ADJUSTMENT SCREW UNTIL THE JAWS ARE TIGHT. 4. LOCK THE JAWS IN PLACE WITH THE LOCK BUTTON, IF YOUR WRENCH HAS ONE. 5. TURN THE WRENCH HANDLE CLOCKWISE clock·wise adv. & adj. Abbr. cw. In the same direction as the rotating hands of a clock. clockwise Adverb, adj in the direction in which the hands of a clock rotate TO TIGHTEN ... ... OR REVERSE THE WRENCH AND TURN COUNTER-CLOCKWISE TO LOOSEN. AND WHAT IS YOUR REWARD FOR MASTERING THESE FINE POINTS? LESS WEAR ON THE WRENCH. LESS RISK OF SLIPPING. MORE AND SAFER LEVERAGE. LESS CHANCE OF DAMAGING THE NUT. DON'T HURT ME! NO YOU, YOU NUT ... ME! TIGHTER FIT. I LOVE A GOOD SQUEEZE! LESS WORK AND FEWER BUSTED bust·ed adj. 1. Slang a. Smashed or broken: busted glass; a busted rib. b. Out of order; inoperable: a busted vending machine. 2. KNUCKLES. AWWW, DID YOU GET A BOO BOO Boo Boo may refer to:
ALL IN ALL, A JUST PAYMENT FOR LEARNING THE PROPER USE OF THE OPEN-ENDED ADJUSTABLE WRENCH. AND NOW, FOR OUR VIEWING PLEASURE AND CULTURAL ENRICHMENT, WE PRESENT EPISODE XXIV OF HENRY JAMES' VICTORIAN EPIC OF ROMANCE, ELEGANCE, AND THE MECHANICAL ARTS ... WINSTON SITS ON HIS SAW BLADE! OH, DAPHNE. OH, WINSTON. OHH OHH Oceans and Human Health OHH Olde Hide House Acton Ontario (Canada) , DAPHNE. OOHHH, WINSTON. OOHHH, DAPHNE. OOHHH, RENALDO. RENALDO? BUT, I'M WINSTON! OF COURSE YOU ARE, DARLING. MY ARTISTIC SENSIBILITIES TINGLE WITH PROFOUND PLEASURE AT THIS GLORIOUS EPIC. WHAT FURTHER THRILLS AWAIT US, I WONDER? WE SHALL RETURN TO TONIGHT'S PRESENTATION IN A FEW MOMENTS. BUT, FIRST, I WISH TO MAKE SOME CUTTING-EDGE REMARKS (AHEM) ABOUT A SMALL BUT MIGHTY TOOL ... ... THE HACKSAW. A HACKSAW IS USED TO CUT TUBING, BOLTS AND SMALL METAL PARTS. IT HAS A HANDLE ATTACHED TO A METAL FRAME. THE FRAME FASTENS TO BOTH ENDS OF A SAW BLADE. YOU MUST KEEP THE BLADE TIGHT OR IT WILL BREAK. THE SAW TEETH SHOULD FACE AWAY FROM THE HANDLE. WHEN YOU BEGIN SAWING, GUIDE THE BLADE WITH YOUR THUMB, BUT BE CAREFUL NOT TO TOUCH THE BLADE TEETH. PULL THE SAW BACK SLOWLY AND LIGHTLY. ONCE YOU'VE MADE A CUT ... ... GRIP THE FRONT OF THE FRAME WITH ONE HAND TO GUIDE THE BLADE AND APPLY PRESSURE. THE SAW CUTS ONLY WHEN PUSHED FORWARD, SO APPLY PRESSURE ON THE FORWARD STROKE. LIGHTEN light·en 1 v. light·ened, light·en·ing, light·ens v.tr. 1. a. To make light or lighter; illuminate or brighten. b. To make (a color) lighter. 2. THE PRESSURE ON THE BACKWARD STROKE. AND USE LONG, SLOW STROKES. NEVER FORCE THE SAW; THAT CAN DULL THE TEETH. SAW BLADES COME IN A VARIETY OF TEETH SIZES, KNOWN AS PITCH. PITCH IS MEASURED IN TEETH PER INCH (TPI (Tracks Per Inch) The measurement of the density of the storage channels on a disk or tape. Track density on magnetic disks has reached 125,000 tpi (125 Ktpi). See bpi, areal density and magnetic disk. ). HACKSAW BLADES USUALLY HAVE 18 OR 24 TPI. WHAT'S THE RULE OF THUMB FOR WHICH PITCH TO USE? CHOOSE A BLADE THAT ALWAYS HAS AT LEAST TWO TEETH IN CONTACT WITH THE METAL. THAT MEANS YOU USE A BALDE WITH A LOWER PITCH TO CUT THICK METAL, AND ONE WITH A HIGHER PITCH TO CUT THIN METAL OR TUBING. ... AND NOW FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT AND MORAL ENLIGHTENMENT, WE'RE RETURN TO EPISODE XXXI OF JAMES GALWORTHY'S VICTORIAN SAGA OF PASSION, INTRIGUE AND WOEFULLY woe·ful also wo·ful adj. 1. Affected by or full of woe; mournful. 2. Causing or involving woe. 3. Deplorably bad or wretched: DAMAGED HARDWARE ... RENALDO STRIPS HIS THREADS! OH, DAPHNE. OH, RENALDO. OH, DAPHNE. OH, DAPHNE. OH, RENALDO. OH, DAPHNE. OOHHH, RENALDO. OOOHHH PENELOPE. PENELOPE!? [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] |
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