High noon at the Wallenberg Big Four: up against the wall.

THE BIG FOUR is around six-and-a-half-feet tall and 17-feet long. Jamie Thomas told me it's like the Santa Monica triple set plus 10-feet of distance. If you go 30-feet past the bottom of the Santa Monica triple set you can buy a "Got Sand? Venice Beach, CA" T-shirt and a Miller Lite.

JAKE ARRIVED AT THE EVENT on a bike looking a little like an Amish farmer who'd just been run off his land. He then made like a wheat thresher on Backstreet Pete's face.

ELISSA WAS THE FIRST one to attempt the leap. It didn't work out that well, but she still got $500 for being the only gal to go for it. You know how far $500 will go in Fort Myers, Florida? We're talking second-hand Ski-Doo's and shit!

FOR THE FIRST 10 MINUTES or so, nobody landed anything.

JEREME ROGERS went Anthony Michael Hall on some backside flip attempts in a giant sweater/pink polo shirt combo. "Can I borrow your underpants for five minutes?" the fans wondered.

KICKFLIP MELON MANIAC Aaron Artis was the only heavy casualty, snapping his leg on a foolhardy frontside flip attempt.

EXILED IN WEIRDSVILLE, Gonz skated the ledges all morning before blasting the stack on that monster truck board he's been riding lately. Jake and Mic-E milled around in the landing with cordless microphones. Besides almost getting landed on a couple of times, Jake was in fine form; using the word "pussy" as often as a minister might say "Jesus." He was calling everyone out--often-times while they were still in the air. Some highlights: "Not gonna happen, fat-ass!", "Get that shovel-flip outta here!", and "Most girls go for tampons; Elissa's here for blood!" Or something like that.

GAP ATTACKERS The Butcher, Ernie Torres and Jeremy Wray were all in town but opted out of battling the 'Berg.

JOSH KASPER came out of semi-seclusion and lobbed 360 flip attempts, twice landing in a disaster on the last step. Rumors of pads under his pants dogged the former big-drop barbarian as he gracefully bowed out.

MALCOLM WATSON rolled at it a couple of times only to powerslide and then tip-toe up for a peek over the edge. He ducked out with a friendly wave to the crowd.

THE ONLY OTHER serious contender for the three flip was Chris Cole, whose board exploded on touch-down, sending him into a heinous leg-splitting display. The 'Berg hasn't seen the last of that super-athlete. Seriously, his upper arms are like a normal man's thighs!

YES, THERE WAS A ROLL-IN RAMP. It was about seven-feet high and stuffed back into the dark corner. Maybe it was cheating, but judging by how many people were still eating shit on the last step, it was a real shitty kind of cheating.

AFTER SEVEN or eight attempts, Andrew Reynolds flew a flawless frontside flip some five feet past the bottom step, coasting casually out into the crowd. It was a perfect moment--the greatest stair skater of all time doing his signature trick down the granddaddy of all gaps. It took 10 minutes to clear the course of well-wishers so the contest could continue. Dudes wandered around holding up the "We're #1!" finger like it was the Super Bowl.

LINDSEY ROBERTSON had a blast, taking his famous heelflip on the ride of its life. His tail hit the last step on the make, as did Darrell Stanton's, who is very, very good at switch backside 180s. They, along with Andrew, were the only people to land tricks.

ANDREW, DARRELL, AND LINDSEY each got $2,000 from Jamie Thomas and Zero, sponsors of the event. The thousand or so skate fans milled around the school yard in a daze, struck dumb at what was the most intense display of raw street skating most of them will ever see live. This was definitely one of the good days.