Hearsay.

"Whether it's a trial or a bout, that kind of nervous energy is very helpful."

Hays County, Texas, Assistant District Attorney HEATHER YOUREE, describing the excitement of competing in women's roller-derby games. Youree--who goes by the derby name Electra Cuter--is cocaptain of the San Antonio Dragon Divas. The team is part of the Alamo City Rollergirls league.

"Although my intentions were to defuse the courtroom situation, I realize now the inappropriateness of my opening comments."

Judge BEVERLY GRANT of the Pierce County Superior Court in Washington State, after receiving an admonishment from the state Commission on Judicial Conduct. Before issuing her sentence in a manslaughter trial, Grant twice ordered everyone in the courtroom to say "Go Seahawks!," referring to the Seattle football team, which was playing in the Super Bowl that week.

"This lady has been sleeping with the judge for over 30 years, and she's not getting off jury duty, so you probably won't be able to get off, either!"

DAVID BARNETT, associate district judge in Tillman County, Oklahoma, during jury selection in a murder case, to prospective jurors who were offering reasons they couldn't serve. The "lady" in question was Barnett's wife, Kay, who had been summoned for jury duty in the same case. Kay was later excused from the panel because of her beliefs about the death penalty.

"He'd been stealing all his life, so it was probably just an intuitive act."

BERNHARD SCHMITT, police spokesman in the town of Coburg, Germany, about a thief who just couldn't help himself. During his court hearing, the 61-year-old defendant, who had a string of convictions for theft, stole the judge's keys. He said he had been "shocked" to find the keys in his pocket, and he later handed in a written confession.

--From newspaper and wire reports