Hearsay.

"I was seven for seven."

CRYSTAL SENGER of Bismarck, North Dakota, a 19-year-old baseball player who stepped into a convenience store and saw the clerk being choked by a robber. She called 911 and then started throwing bananas at the thief's head until he was stunned.

"The dog was friendly enough and probably would have been a very cooperative witness."

ROBIN GREEN, a Bentonville, Arkansas, prosecutor who mistakenly subpoenaed a five-year-old shih tzu. State attorneys sent subpoenas to everyone who'd had contact with Albert Smith, a jailed defendant awaiting trial for murder. One letter Smith had written was to Murphy Smith--his dog. The mix-up came to light when Smith's brother brought the pooch to court to answer the summons and couldn't get in because dogs aren't permitted in the courthouse.

"The deputies said, 'Okaaaaaaaaaay.'"

St. Charles, Missouri, sheriff's lieutenant CRAIG McGUIRE, recalling deputies' reaction after pulling over a driver dressed like a pioneer. The man's car was loaded with guns, knives, drugs--and Bibles. The driver told police he was delivering the Bibles to Native American children.

"How could you prove you're not a dumb ass?"

JESSE RUIZ, the lawyer who represented Hollister City, California, councilman Joseph Felice in a libel suit brought by a political rival. During a 2000 campaign, Felice operated a Web site that called other candidates deadbeats, alcoholics, and "dumb asses." An appeals court dismissed the case, saying, "The statement that plaintiff is a 'dumb ass' ... communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation."

--From newspaper and wire reports