Have we come a long way, baby? Catholic women today lead chancellor's offices, finance committees, and even parishes. But has women's status in the church really changed? U.S. Catholic readers continually ask for more articles about women in the church. We turned the tables and asked what they think.

Kids ask the darndest questions. One day Kitty Gunty's 11-year-old daughter hit her with a really tough one: "Mommy, what if I wanted to be a priest one day?" Kitty took a deep breath and gave her the bad news. "Honey, I am sorry, but because you are a female, you are not allowed to be a priest."

Not wanting to be overly negative, she encouraged her daughter to ask God to lead her in her true vocation, and to trust that God would give her the grace to make her mark on the church, if God indeed does call her to the priesthood.

It isn't only her daughter that worries Gunty, a teacher in South Bend, Indiana. "I'm concerned that our church is turning off our future generation--including my three sons--when the church states that men are superior to women in church authority," she says.

Despite the Vatican's insistence that current church teaching on women's ordination is to be "definitively held" and further discussion on it to cease, the issue just won't seem to go away. It was far and away the No. 1 concern of respondents to a U.S. CATHOLIC Reader Survey on women in the church--even though the questions barely mentioned the issue. Over and over, readers wrote long, impassioned responses about what they see as the ultimate symbol of women's inequality in the church. In fact, when asked to name the top three issues facing women in the church, ordination was written in more than any other single answer.

In his 1994 apostolic letter Ordinatio Sacerdotalis, Pope John Paul II reaffirmed church teaching, writing that ordination "has in the Catholic Church from the beginning always been reserved to men alone" because of Jesus' example of choosing only male apostles.

Gunty and others are afraid that won't convince younger Catholics. Fifty-seven percent of survey respondents say they fear the church will lose future generations of younger Catholics unable to accept this church teaching. A catechist from Maryland says she has watched scores of young women become disillusioned with the church over women's issues. A Connecticut mother notes that her daughters are angry and perceive the ordination ban as a deep injustice. "They will not be part of their grandmother's church," she says.

Although nearly one third of respondents believe the church is a consistent voice in the world regularly speaking out for women's dignity, a larger number (50 percent) disagree. The church sends a mixed message by talking the talk but not walking the walk, resulting in a lack of credibility when it does defend women's dignity, respondents say.

"The church speaks out of both sides of its mouth," says Barbara Scholtz of Jacksonville, Florida. "It does speak out for the dignity of motherhood and the equality of women in marriage. But the hierarchy does not really believe that women are equal. If they did, there'd be ordained women."

It's clear from our survey that the ordination of women--or the lack thereof--has become the symbolic issue for many. Respondents repeatedly describe it as discriminatory and unjust. One woman says she believes it is a sin to block another person's call from God.

But Kathie Baker of Huntville, Texas has changed her mind about the issue. "I now believe that if Christ had wanted women to be priests he would have begun with his very own mother," she says. "I am saddened that my generation of women has been sold on a version of feminism that has totally devalued their worth."

Several of the other top issues mentioned by respondents were indirectly related to ordination--lack of women in leadership, little or no voice in decisionmaking, general inequality, and being treated as second-class citizens.

"We are not always given the same credit or recognition as men," says Eileen McNamara of Huntington Station, New York. "In general, a woman's voice is taken less seriously, and women are not usually admitted to clergy meetings that decide policy that affects us all."

A canon lawyer from Las Vegas says she has been fortunate to have met with little discrimination but has witnessed it in other parishes and dioceses. "I think some priests feel threatened by women's degrees and training," she says.

Given the declining number of clergy, many see the ordination of women not so much as a matter of rights, but of needs. "Our church categorically throws out 50 percent of its talent, and it is imploding on itself," says Susan Malone of Danville, Pennsylvania.

To drop it, or not to drop it

If the ban on the ordination of women has a majority of readers up in arms, the Vatican order to stop discussing the issue makes them even angrier. A few younger readers called such tactics medieval. Some say the ban "reeks of power" or seems to deny that the Holy Spirit might be speaking to others in the church besides the magisterium.

"No one can stop the Holy Spirit with a gag order," says Sister Rita M. Hickey, O.S.C. of New Orleans. A Minnesota woman notes, "People normally don't close arguments that they can win through reason."

But to some extent the Vatican order seems to be working: Several respondents who asked that their names not be used in this article specifically mentioned that their (or their spouse's) jobs in parishes, dioceses, or Catholic schools and universities could be in jeopardy if their views on women's issues were known. "Isn't this a sad commentary," says one woman from Texas. "I do not feel comfortable using my name for fear of what the diocese might do!"

"Professor X" from a Catholic university in the Midwest says: "My rather moderate and measured views on these matters can get me in trouble, even fired. That summarizes the problem in a nutshell, doesn't it?"

Although only 11 percent of respondents agreed that Catholics should stop debating the issue because it was closed, even some of those were torn. Ida Reilly of Wyomissing, Pennsylvania says, "We need to respect the decision of the current pope," but also wrote "women priests" in all three of the spaces for the top issues women face in the church.

More representative was the response by Dennis Winkelsas of Norfolk, Virginia: "The church is simply wrong, and their argument doesn't hold water," he believes. "My Christian faith is the foundation that makes me intolerant of the culture of the church that grants women second-class citizenship."

In fact, most readers who supported women's ordination and other women's rights issues were very clear where they got those opinions--their Catholic Christian faith.

"God does not love his sons more than his daughters or deny them an equal place in heaven," points out Deborah Keenan of Hamburg, New York. "Who are we then to deny them on earth?"

Others were inspired by Jesus' example and teachings. "Jesus was an egalitarian," says Father Stephen Umhoefer of Janesville, Wisconsin. A few men cited the ultimate commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself," noting that doors open to them as men should be open to all.

Michael Maras of Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan believes Mary's role supports women's ordination: "God brought about the Messiah through a woman, God can also bring about the 'Body of Christ' during the Eucharist through a woman," he says.

Many claimed divine support for women's issues. "I believe the Spirit is not sexist," says Patricia Travis of Omaha. Says Mary Theresa Bonhage Freund of Alma, Michigan: "There is no glass ceiling in heaven."

The "F" word

Of course, those with the opposite view--that women are naturally suited for more traditional feminine roles and not others--also see God on their side. The idea of "male headship" still works for Pat Prusha of Dallas. "Women are by nature nurturing, training, and cherishing individuals," she says. "Let the priests and the fathers assume the headship, in fact, demand it."

Although more support for motherhood was urged by liberals and conservatives alike, they had different solutions. Katie Doran of St. Paul, Minnesota urged corporations to offer child care, health care, and part-time schedules to accommodate talented women who become mothers. "Parenting is part of life," she says. "Why can't our society come together to support this?"

Others saw motherhood as a superior vocation to any paying job. "There was a time when I bought into the hype of pop culture that promoted 'feminism' as a freedom from family responsibilities," says Thomas Cobb of St. Charles, Missouri. "Now as a parent I see the tremendous benefit and calling of my wife to one of the greatest vocations in history and all time--motherhood."

A survey question asking respondents simply if they considered themselves feminists or not provoked a sizeable number to check the "other" box. "What does it mean?" asks Pat Ruggaber of Wheaton, Illinois. "Does it mean denying that which makes a woman who she is? Or does it mean denying that which a woman can be?"

Otherwise, respondents are divided, with nearly half (46 percent) refusing the now-controversial label. Even those who embrace it (38 percent) offer qualifications. "I'm an old-fashioned feminist against abortion and total sexual freedom," explains Margaret Hayden of Vernon, Connecticut.

Yet many who checked "No" to the feminist question also wrote in that they believe in the equality of men and women, proving discomfort with the word from all sides.

Different but equal

Those against feminism often instead support the church teaching of complementarity--that women and men are created equal but different, and that males and females have naturally prescribed roles related to their genders.

Robert Klesko of Clinton Township, Michigan is representative of the 16 percent who agree with complementarity: "Women have a different role in the church and by striving for an office outside of their nature and God's divine plan, they are offending him. They should say 'fiat' like Mary did and accept their marvelous vocation."

While the majority (72 percent) disagreed, not all downplayed the differences between the genders. "Despite the differences between men and women--or maybe even because of the differences--roles and responsibilities should be open to both women and men," says Tim Hailer of Ravena, New York.

Most readers believe that men and women's shared humanity is more important than their gender, and that ultimately people should be judged on their abilities and accomplishments, not on their X or Y chromosomes. While complementarity teaches equality, it comes with a "but," and one New York woman notes that "equality with a 'but' is not equality."

"Complementarity is a synonym for 'not as good' or 'lesser than,'" says Rosemary Johnston of San Diego. "Do you think men would like to be considered complementary to women?"

The church's perceived lack of credibility on women's issues is especially disappointing to many readers because its voice is needed to address the myriad other challenges facing women in society. Topping the list is violence against women; other respondents cite low self-esteem, sex trafficking, contraception, sexuality, support for working mothers, and the portrayal of women in popular media.

"Our voice should be as loud against the violence imposed on women as it is against abortion," says Donna Fisher of San Antonio, Texas. Another reader compared the church's stand on abortion to its stand against fathers who take no responsibility for their children and finds the latter to be lacking.

The church also could speak out against the overemphasis on women's bodies and the resulting sexual exploitation. "We need to speak out more against the superficial images of women that our young women are experiencing in the Western world," says Mary Kay Connolly of Ft. Thomas, Kentucky.

But some think the church can't credibly address sexual exploitation, given what they see as its own outdated view of sexuality in general. "As long as we continue down the theological path where the Holy Family is three adults who never have sex and where celibacy is the highest form of holiness, we will never be able to embrace the sanctity of sexuality, nor see anyone (men or women) as whole and holy beings," says Brian Ward of Denver.

Slow road to change

While they're waiting for the church to change, many respondents note that their own views on women's issues have changed over time as well. Many say they went from accepting everything the church taught to questioning the status quo. Often it was personal experience that prompted a different perspective, although reading women theologians also ranked high as an impetus to consciousness-raising.

"I didn't think much about it until I was in graduate theological school and realized that all the men I was studying with would be ordained, and I would not," says Peggy Friedel-Yee of Lake Oswego, Oregon. "They had free tuition while I was working and taking out student loans to pay for my education. It was blatantly unfair."

A Benedictine nun from Idaho has also seen her perspective broaden. "Things I used to dismiss as petty, such as inclusive language, I now realize are indicative and symptomatic of deeper issues," she says.

Of those who support women's ordination, some have given up the fight, with 18 percent saying it's better to work for women's influence in other ways. Some are just plain tired or frustrated by what they perceive as backward movement on the part of the church hierarchy.

Yet only 12 percent say they believe the church will never ordain women. "When I was younger I was angrier and left the church," says Elizabeth Levy of Whitehouse Station, New Jersey. "I now realize that the church is so much more than the hierarchy."

Even fewer (6 percent) believe any future decision to ordain women would lead to schism. "This is probably one of the most divisive issues we face today. One thing I know for sure--it will not go away," says Nancy Novak of Fort Worth, Texas.

And change has happened. Anne McDonnell of Philadelphia recalls that while both of her sons were altar boys, none of her four daughters was eligible. "The first time I was present where there were female altar servers and I saw the girls leading the procession from the sacristy, I cried."

Other women urged patience. Jean Merriman of Chinchilla, Pennsylvania remembers cleaning the altar and teaching the altar boys their Latin responses but not being allowed to assist at Mass. "There's nothing slower than the Catholic Church in adjusting to change, but eventually change comes," says this 71year-old. "I'm waiting."

Sister Mary Kenan McGowan of Grafton, New York agrees: "The church moves slowly. Those of us who are willing to wait may never get to see all of our wishes. Those who are not willing to wait will probably die frustrated. Both groups should not close the door on each other."

AND THE SURVEY SAYS ...

1. Women's status in the church is a major concern for me.

agree      74%
disagree   18%
other       8%

2. The Catholic Church is a consistent voice speaking out for the dignity of women.

agree      30%
disagree   50%
other      20%

3. About the Catholic teaching on gender complementarity, I believe ...

73%   That all roles and
      responsibilities should
      be open to both
      women and men.

16%   That women and men
      are different, and thus
      have different roles
      and responsibilities.

11%   Other.

4. I consider myself a feminist.

   agree   38%

disagree   46%

   other   16%

These results are based on survey responses from 220 U.S. CATHOLIC readers and website visitors. This month join U.S. CATHOLIC readers at www.uscatholic.org as they give their opinions on church language about gays and lesbians.

LEADING LADIES

When queried about inspiring Catholic women, survey respondents held up women from the tradition, past and present. Some mentioned family members, friends, or religious women in general, but most named saints or future saints. Mother Teresa and Joan Chittister, O.S.B. led the pack, with Dorothy Day not far behind. Others included:

* St. Therese of Lisieux

* Elizabeth Johnson, C.S.J.

* Mary Magdalene

* Helen Prejean, C.S.J.

* Edwina Gateley

* St. Teresa of Avila

* Jeanine Grammick, S.S.N.D.

* Mary

* Joyce Rupp, O.S.M.

* St. Joan of Arc

* Thea Bowman

* Cokie Roberts