Happier holy days.

While love and joy may come to you quite automatically during the holidays, peace must be purchased at a premium. Holiday and stress have become words that are interdependent, like migraine and headache. From the moment the last float in the Thanksgiving Day parade disappears, you won't have one without the other.

But hark! I bring you glad tidings of great joy! there are ways to combat holiday stress and put the peace back into the season. If your scalp starts to tighten at the thought of holiday stress ahead, try one of these suggestions to cope.

* Fill up your tank. There is nothing that sounds so decadent as relaxing and enjoying yourself when the world around you is in hyperdrive, but the truth is that if you don't have it, you can't give it. And above all, this is the season for giving. Take a few moments each day to do something you enjoy so you'll have something to give.

* Be realistic. If you were going through a rough time before the holidays, don't expect your problems to melt with the heat of nostalgia. "Expecting this holiday is going to be different from the rest of the year is unrealistic," says child psychiatrist Bernard Kahan, of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. "When expectations get dashed, this causes disappointment--and stress."

* Routine, routine, routine. Although the holidays are special and making exceptions is a temptation, throwing off the daily routine contributes heavily to stress. Make sure all members of the family get enough sleep. Eat regularly balanced meals, and limit sugar intake to ward off blood sugar imbalances that lead to mood swings.

* Pace yourself. If the entire focus of your holiday is centered on wrapping gifts, you're going to end up with 10 minutes of frenzied activity followed by severe letdown. A satisfying and uplifting holiday doesn't need to be heavily funded. Instead, put your focus on unmaterialistic traditions like caroling, crafts, baking, decorating, and religious activities.

* Cut back--way back. "What I hear most about holiday stress is the guilt the feeling of obligation." says therapist Judith Sitko about mandatory gittgiving and party-throwing. When you consider cutting back it's important to remember one thing: we're all in the same boat only no one w ants to be the first to jump ship. Your suggestions will probably be well received.

* Delegate. No one person can accomplish all that needs to be done around the holidays. Delegate what you can. If it fits your budget, hire people to help you. It not enlist the help of your family or friends. Trade services her husband puts up your lights, and you bake them three dozen cookies.

If you're having a party, ask guests to bring some food. "Potlucks are very popular," says Sitko. "People are beginning to ask guests to bring a pie or the vegetables. I know some people say that's not appropriate, but it's becoming more accepted."

The holidays are here--ready or not. And the only thing that really matters doesn't take either preparation or money. "They saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him" (Matthew 2:11, NIV).

Celeste perrino Walker wrote this column for Vibrant Life several month's ago, so she's enjoying her holiday in Rutland, Vermont.