Hair apparent.

The Advocate visits the set of Je M'apelle Crawford. It's a movie about a gay hairdresser. But his sexuality is beside the point

You might expect the mood on the set of a feature film titled Je M'appelle Crawford to be, well, very Mommie Dearest. And it is--almost. It's camp. Between takes on a majestic staircase set, under hot lights and colossal chandeliers, hundreds of extras in black tie and beaded gowns wilt as they wait to hear the magic word: "Action."

Suddenly supermodel Veronica Webb, waiting to strut her stuff in a crucial cameo, darts from the soundstage to her dressing room for a quick smoke, while costar Frances Fisher (Titanic) stands by in a silk robe replete with feathered collar. Wig masters and mistresses comb, tease, and fluff, making sure no tress is out of place. After all, this scene is the movie's climax, the big Hair-Off finale. That's right--Hair-Off.

Set for a 1999 release from Warner Bros., Je M'appelle Crawford tells the tale of Crawford MacKenzie, Scotland's finest coiffeur, who comes to Hollywood to compete for the Platinum Scissor Award at the World Freestyle Hairdressing Championship. With production on the film having wrapped this summer, the studio is already screening it for test audiences. And word is, it's testing through the roof.

So why hairdressers? "I'd seen movies like Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, Rob Roy, and Braveheart," says actor Craig Ferguson (The Drew Carey Show), a native Scotsman who not only stars as Crawford but also cowrote the script with pal Sacha Gervasi. "They were all very macho, brutal, and tough. Actually, Glasgow has a very big gay scene. Parts of it are very rough, but parts of it--and Scotland--are extremely elegant and rather fey. I hadn't seen anyone approach that in a film."

Ferguson, Gervasi, director Kevin Allen, and producer Philip Rose--all of whom are straight--banded together and sold the studio on a picture they pitched as "Rocky with curlers." What's more, Crawford himself is definitely gay, even though Ferguson insists his character's sexuality is beside the point.

"I wanted [his gayness] to be a character description rather than a story," says Ferguson of his haircutter, who was inspired by a former Glaswegian flatmate. "He's not any more or less gay at the start of the movie than he is at the end."

It is precisely the matter-of-fact nature of Crawford's sexuality that seems to have endeared the right people to the script. "Everyone--gay and straight--has responded the same to this movie," says Gervasi. "I mean, Warner Bros.--the most straitlaced people in the world--they love this movie because it's got a good heart, and that's all that matters. It's not offensive; it's not poking fun at anyone. The character is a real human being."

Still, the bottom line remains laughter "It's the best script I've read since Titanic," declares Fisher, who plays star publicist Candy Harper, Crawford's chief ally. "I can't remember a script that's as funny."

On the more serious subject of depicting a gay man and his universe, Ferguson says he firmly believes he is qualified to fashion a comedy about people he loves. Whether or not he can persuasively play gay is something he'd rather leave up to his audience to decide--even as he slacks the deck in his favor: "Those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park weren't real," he says. "But they may have gone through a `dinosaur period' when they were younger."

Vaillancourt is a freelance entertainment writer based in Los Angeles.

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