HV (Humanae Vitae)-positive Catholics: seeking our place in the Church.

Our families and close friends have known of our condition for some time, but now we feel compelled to admit the truth to the world at large: we're HV-positive Catholics. No, not HIV, just HV, as in Humanae Vitae. Without shame or fear, I wish to acknowledge publicly that my husband and I support the church's teaching on conjugal love as illuminated by Pope Paul VI's prophetic Encyclical.

At present we are in the minority: many Catholics, regardless of vocation, are outspoken in their dissent from Humanae vitae (most of them without actually having read it, all of them without having tried to live it). On the whole, the situation seems grim, but it needn't stay that way, for "nothing is impossible with God." Those of us who are proud of being HV-positive pray that acceptance of the Encyclical's message will soon reach epidemic proportions among the Catholic population worldwide.

Before this upsurge can begin, however, we need to understand exactly how Humane vitae is spread. While the enthusiastic support of bishops, priests, theologians, and lay leaders greatly increases one's likelihood of catching HV, the actual transmission seems to take place on a personal level. HV may be contracted through verbal exchange, prayer, reading, reflection, and (perhaps most effectively) by witnessing the lives of HV-positive families. It has been suggested that love, faith, and obedience are somehow connected to being HV-positive, but experts disagree on whether these virtues cause the condition or are merely symptoms of it. (There is an evident need for more research and better public education of this matter. Where is our government funding?)

Needs disclosure

Avoiding contact with Humanae vitae and HV-affected individuals, on the other hand, is all too easy in our secularized Western culture. We are often reminded by scientists, authors, judges, doctors, professors, and politicians that we have been freed from the constraints of our own biological functions (and hence, we may infer, from the One who created them). Although it is generally known that surgical, chemical, and barrier contraceptive methods prevent the spread of HV, few people realize that misusing natural family planning methods also significantly "reduces the risk" of fully comprehending and embracing Humanae vitae.

Sadly, in the last two decades the church in Canada has expended little effort to promote HV-affection among Catholics. Since the laissez-faire "Winnipeg Statement," few bishops have bothered with Humanae vitae, with many priests and lay people duly following suit. Today it is rare indeed to hear the Encyclical quoted or referred to during a Sunday homily. Even though a good number of bishops and priests are actually HV-positive, many avoid public disclosure for a variety of reasons. It appears that delivering sermons on sexual morality has been deemed high risk behaviour by some clergy, many of whom now practice Safer Speech to avoid offending any papalinfalliphobic persons in the congregation. (It is often said that those who fear papal infallibility the most are the ones who deep down consider themselves infallible).

How to treat them

Because of common misconceptions about the nature of HV-affection, many people may wonder: "how should I treat someone who is HV-positive?" Here is a brief list of do's and don'ts:

* Do treat us with compassion and acceptance--we are people, not anachronistic aberrations.

* Do strive to understand that all of our children have been "planned," but our Master Planner is not of this world.

* Don't snicker at the size of our families or the spacing of our pregnancies. If you discover your HV-positive friend is pregnant, do smile warmly and say, "Congratulations" Don't look horrified and say, "Not again!?"

* Do make us feel part of the community; allow us to participate in church ministries and social functions. Include positive and accurate information about our lifestyle in marriage preparation courses.

* Don't be afraid to hug someone who is HV-positive! (But be forewarned: although Humanae vitae can't be transmitted through physical contact, developing a warm and personal friendship with HV-positive people may create a potentially contagious atmosphere).

How can you tell?

Finally, how can you tell if you are HV-positive? (Some people are, without ever having read or touched a copy of the Encyclical--a few of these souls are not even Catholic). If you are married, you may find your love for your spouse deepening as you experience the beauty of mutual self-donation in the conjugal act.

You may discover new ways of communicating, and delight in realizing that there is more to intimacy than sex. You may develop a new reverence for the workings of the human body, and feel humbled and grateful for having been so "fearfully and wonderfully made." Your love for your spouse and appreciation for the miracle of fertility, conception, and childbirth may lead to the most obvious symptom of HV: having or desiring a large family.

Despite everything you hear about the poverty line and your children's deteriorating "quality of life," you may persevere in work and prayer, to find that not only are your needs being met, but your life has immeasurably more quality than you could have imagined. You may find that although your children have their share of squabbles, they actually seem to delight in each other as well. (Especially pleasing to note is the way older children long for, and then dote on, a new baby in the family).

You may become more fully aware of the damage caused in the world by egocentrism and materialism, embodied in the "contraceptive mentality" Pope Paul warned us about. You may become more involved in pro-life work, as you realize that without the presence of the small, the weak, the suffering, and the elderly among us, man will cease to be human.

Most importantly, you may develop a deep(er) love for the Church, her traditions, her teachings, and her Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. You may lead your children or other people to love God and the Church as much as you do. You may eventually help defeat the culture of death. If you have never done so, read (and reflect upon) Humanae vitae. Becoming HV-positive may be one of the most life-giving decisions you will ever make.

[T]hose who enjoy the gift of conjugal love while respecting the laws of the generative process show that they acknowledge themselves to be not the masters of the sources of human life, but rather the ministers of the design established by the Creator.

Humanae vitae #13

Mariette Ulrich is a full-time wife, homemaker, and homeschooling mother of four lovely daughters (age 8-infancy). She writes in her "spare" time.