HUBBY IN NEED OF A KIDNEY TAKES WIFE UP ON HER OFFER.

Byline: Dennis McCarthy 

``We'll be giving Joel pajamas on Sunday and a kidney on Tuesday.''

- Stevi Bennett

The Bennett family of Sherman Oaks will celebrate Father's Day today and Husband's Day two days later.

Today Joel Bennett will get loving gifts from his three adult children. On Tuesday he'll get the gift of life from his wife of 36 years, Stevi.

After 12 years of taking no for an answer from Joel every time she brought up the subject, Stevi last month finally stopped asking and insisted - she would give him one of her kidneys.

Joel is one of 30,000 people in this country who are racing the clock, waiting for a kidney transplant.

Watching him lie there in the hospital bed, she told him she wasn't going to take no for an answer anymore - this is the way it was going to be.

They weren't going to wait and pray for a donor anymore. They were getting off that waiting list. Stevi, who doctors had told would be a compatible kidney match, would be giving Joel one of hers, and that was that. No arguments.

``I couldn't fight her anymore,'' Joel said Friday, preparing for one of the last dialysis treatments he likely will have to undergo.

``Stevi knew I couldn't handle much more of the pain. I just pray to God that I'm not going to make her suffer pain from this. I love her so much.''

Stevi smiles and hugs her husband. Everyone around her seems worried about the operation Tuesday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, but she remains eerily calm, she says.

``Joel's afraid for me, and the kids are scared about having both parents in the hospital at the same time, and I don't blame them,'' she says.

``But ever since I found out that I was a perfect kidney match for Joel, it's always been in the back of my mind that this day might come someday - that Joel wouldn't be able to wait any longer for an anonymous donor.

``We still have a lot of love left in this marriage, so we're going for it,'' Stevi says.

So, on Monday, Stevi will pack a bag and head for the hospital with Joel to undergo some last minute tests, and spend the night there.

Joel will stay with her until 4 p.m., when he will leave for his last dialysis treatment. He will spend Monday night at home in his own bed - most likely a sleepless night, he says.

On Tuesday morning, the three Bennett kids - Julie, Randy and Jamie - will pick their dad up at home and drive him over to the hospital.

Then, the kids will check into a nearby motel, and return to the hospital to wait through the three-hour surgery.

Stevi will be on the surgical floor, Joel on the transplant floor. The kids will be running back and forth in between floors.

Doctors have told Stevi that there should be no side effects from the operation. She is planning to take two months off her job at a Calabasas gift promotions company.

Joel will be put immediately on anti-rejection medication. He has set no timetable to return to his job at a microfilm company in Camarillo.

That's what will happen later in the week. Today, the family celebrates together with a brunch, returning home in the afternoon to spend the rest of the day with their granddaughter, Sloane, and in-laws - opening gifts and enjoying each others company.

Joel Bennett counts himself a lucky man to be surrounded by so much love on Father's Day and Husband's Day, he says.

Both he and Stevi know they are opening up something very private about their lives to the public here, but both agree it is worth it if just one person reads their story and decides to become an organ donor.

``All those years of dialysis, I'd sit there in the waiting room and look at all those young people, slowly wasting away,'' Joel said.

``To save them, all people would have to do is think ahead, think about one of your organs giving life to someone after you're gone.

``What greater gift could anyone give another person?'' he said.

On Father's Day, Husband's Day, or any day.

MEMO: Dennis McCarthy's column appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday.

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Photo: (color) The Bennett family will be pulling this week for their dad, Joel, and his wife, Stevi. They include, from left, granddaughter Sloane, daughter Julie Blair, son-in-law Scott Blair, son Jamie and his girlfriend Christina Alvarado.

Terri Thuente/Daily News