HOW TO REINVENT YOURSELF (L.A. STYLE) FORGET THE DNC, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF L.A.'S GREATEST NATURAL RESOURCE AND MAKE OVER YOUR IMAGE.

Byline: Jane Robison Staff Writer

Hello, Democrats, ``Destination Dream Land'' awaits you.

Los Angeles welcomes you to the land of make-believe and makeup tips, tummy tucks and tireless toning.

Bring us your tired feet, your masses of wrinkles and chubby thighs.

While you're here anointing your chosen candidate, Vice President Al Gore, we'll remake and remold you, rejuvenate and restore your every pore during your five days or so in paradise.

Reinvent yourself, just like everyone else does in Tinseltown.

You can be whoever you want to be. You can have whatever you want. This is L.A. and that's our credo.

Who wants to trudge back to Pocatello looking the same as when youcame, when you can plunge into the fountain of youth and come up looking like Jennifer Aniston or new hubby Brad Pitt - or both.

And if you're thinking the next five days won't be enough time to get yourself totally rejuvenated and completely transformed beyond your wildest dreams, dear Dem, think again.

You're not in Kansas anymore. Discover the true El Dorado - a golden spigot of beauty, youth and oneness with the universe.

We'll dazzle you with botox injections and tumescent liposuctions. We'll pamper you with paraffin hand wraps and detoxifying herbal wraps.

This is the city where dreams are made, where people are made up to look like dreams. L.A.'s the place to redesign yourself.

Chris Lackmeyer didn't exactly reinvent himself. The Cincinnati native just made the most of an opportunity after his dream of becoming an Olympic runner didn't quite work out in 1984.

While running at the Santa Monica Track Club, where Carl Lewis had trained, Lackmeyer was approached by a friend who asked if he could help get an actor in shape for a role. The actor was Val Kilmer, who was starring as Jim Morrison in ``The Doors.''

Lackmeyer did such a good job, he ended up with a new career as a personal trainer.

``It just blossomed after that,'' said Lackmeyer, 41, who now lives in Agoura Hills.

Women almost always have an image in mind of whom they want to look like - Madonna, he says. For men it's Brad Pitt.

Lackmeyer, who trains the Marciano family, owners of Guess? jeans, said he developed this 5-day Fitness Makeover specifically for visiting Democrats:

Day 1: Start with the politically correct warm-up: Walk around Staples Center twice, refusing to take any money from special interest groups. ``You may have to run,'' Lackmeyer advises.

Day 2: Lieberman Lunges. Keep head up, back straight, feet close together and step forward as far as possible, being careful not to step on anyone else's toes or ego.

Day 3: Presidential Push-ups. Kneel on the floor with hands 24 inches apart. Place legs straight behind, back straight. Place presidential speech on the floor directly under your face. Keeping body rigid, lower yourself until your nose touches your speech. Breathe deep, repeating, ``I will win this election. Yes, I will win this election . . ."

Day 4: Democratic Dips. Hold yourself straight on bars. Keep elbows into sides, lower yourself down by bending shoulders and elbows. (Bill can help you if you have trouble with this one). Pause, then press back to arm's length.

Day 5: Al Gore's Beach Blast Run. Run hard and run long, just like Al's acceptance speech is likely to be.

Lackmeyer warns that if this doesn't help jump-start your fitness program, maybe you're not ready for the White House.

Of course, some Democrats might be too busy partying to fit in a personal trainer or to work out at one of L.A.'s gyms that have so many well-toned, sexy members, Congresswomen Loretta Sanchez could have thrown a fund-raiser and still not gotten Al Gore to show up.

Another personal improvement strategy is to try L.A.'s ``Fitness by Phone,'' a training regimen created by personal trainer Susan Block of Encino.

Block invented the program to give traveling Hollywood people the will and the way to stay fit without having a personal trainer by their side. Instead, they use a calorie monitor that records all their movements. Once a week, they go over the results with a trainer by phone and set goals for the following week.

``We're empowering people to take personal responsibility,'' said Block, who has 1,000 clients.

Of course, nobody should leave Los Angeles without trying the cosmic opportunities for cosmetic enhancement.

After all, Los Angeles and Beverly Hills have more plastic surgeons per capita than any region in the world, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

And it's not just women, Dr. Les Bolton of Beverly Hills said. Men are getting just as vain.

``More and more men in their late 40s and 50s are coming in because they're competing against 25-year-old billionaires in e-commerce and they want to have an edge,'' Bolton said. ``They want to stay fit, so they go to the gym. But if they want to feel vital and vivacious, they go to a plastic surgeon.''

Thanks to the miracles of modern medicine, it's possible to undergo several cosmetic procedures in the morning and still make the evening speeches at the convention.

A glow can be achieved with a 30-minute, $100-$250 microdermabrasion that peels fine lines away and rejuvenates the skin, said Dr. Debra Luftman, who teaches skin surgery and general dermatology at UCLA.

Botox injections to remove crow's feet from around your eyes and collagen injections to give you the Mick Jagger mouth are 20-minute procedures.

Personally, I'd start with the tumescent liposuction, which Luftman calls the ``safest and most effective method available.'' The four-hour, $3,000-$6,000 procedure removes mounds of blubber while you're awake with local anesthesia and leaves no noticeable scars.

By Tuesday, you're ready to be pampered at a spa while protesters lay siege to downtown.

And that's when you'll encounter the very serene and soothing Barbara Gauthier, owner of the Gauthier Total Image Spa in Sherman Oaks.

A day at the spa alongside Hollywood types will leave Democrats so relaxed and rejuvenated, they'll swear Al Gore is the best orator since Oliver Wendell Holmes.

Gauthier doesn't like the term ``makeover.'' It sounds too much like what it is, a schlep that needs to start over.

She prefers ``image update.''

Give her three hours and she'll find the real you under those puffy eyes, swollen ankles, sagging shoulders and clothes that scream ``Home Shopping Network.''

To get the optimal treatment in a minimal amount of time, she recommends two people work on you at once. For a mere $250, you could get a foot reflexology to rejuvenate and balance the body, followed by a facial, a paraffin hand treatment, a haircut and style, and a manicure while sitting next to the cast of a daytime soap.

When the party's over on Friday, you'll be ready for some heavy face lifting and breast augmentation, and some serious R&R in Santa Barbara.

Are you sure you want to go back to the Rust Belt or the Snow Belt or the Bible Belt or the Borscht Belt?

Why not take your new face, your buff body and your new personal awareness and open a little chakra shop on Ventura Boulevard.

``Destination Dream Land'' is at your feet.

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