HOW TO AVOID RIDICULE AND SCORN.Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic THE GOOD THING about an off movie year like 2001 is that the outstanding work is so limited, it's pretty hard to overlook. The bad thing is that the voting members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences usually find ways to ignore a lot of it. So, when Oscar nominations are announced Feb. 12, there's at least a 50-50 possibility that shameless mediocrities such as ``I Am Sam'' or ``Life as a House'' will fare better than the rigorous artistry and daring of a ``Black Hawk Black Hawk (born 1767, Sauk Sautenuk, Va.—died Oct. 3, 1838, village on the Des Moines River, Iowa, U.S.) Sauk Indian leader. Long antagonistic to whites, Black Hawk was driven into Iowa from Illinois in 1831. Down'' or ``Mulholland Drive For the motion picture, see . Mulholland Drive is a very well-known road in Los Angeles, California named after engineer William Mulholland. A portion of it is also called Mulholland Highway. .'' Considering the slim pickings, however, the academy could just as easily surprise us and field a perfect slate this year. And, fan that I am of these folks who never gave Alfred Hitchcock or Cary Grant Noun 1. Cary Grant - United States actor (born in England) who was the elegant leading man in many films (1904-1986) Grant or Stanley Kubrick Noun 1. Stanley Kubrick - United States filmmaker (born in 1928) Kubrick a competitive Oscar (and Scorsese's still waiting, guys), I've helpfully drawn up a wish list of what nominations for the top six categories would ideally look like this year - along with some simple, common-sense advice on how to avoid abject embarrassment. OSCAR BALLOT BEST PICTURE ``A Beautiful Mind'' ``Black Hawk Down'' ``In the Bedroom'' ``The Fellowship of the Ring'' ``Mulholland Drive'' Hmm. They're all about something or other going terribly, terribly wrong. Guess that sums up my general view of the Oscars. ACTOR Russell Crowe (``A Beautiful Mind'') Will Smith (``Ali'') Billy Bob Thornton Robert George (Bob) Thornton (born July 10 1962, in Los Angeles, California) is a retired American professional basketball player in the NBA whose career lasted from 1985 to 1996. He was a 6'10" 225 forward. He holds career averages of 3.0 points and 2.5 rebounds in 283 total games. (``The Man Who Wasn't There'') Denzel Washington (``Training Day'') Tom Wilkinson (``In the Bedroom'') Loved Gene Hackman in ``Tenenbaums,'' but that's really an ensemble piece - besides, there are fewer worthy competitors in the supporting race. Now, if the academy can just refrain from insulting any of these five brilliant performers with nominations for maudlin maud·lin adj. Effusively or tearfully sentimental: "displayed an almost maudlin concern for the welfare of animals" Aldous Huxley. See Synonyms at sentimental. , manipulative Dustin Hoffman and Kevin Spacey spac·ey adj. Slang Variant of spacy. Adj. 1. spacey - stupefied by (or as if by) some narcotic drug spaced-out, spacy unconventional - not conventional or conformist; "unconventional life styles" impressions (including the ones BY Kevin Spacey), all will be well. ACTRESS Halle Berry (``Monster's Ball'') Thora Birch (``Ghost World'') Nicole Kidman (``Moulin moulin (m  lăN`): see pothole. Rouge'')
Sissy Spacek (``In the Bedroom'') Naomi Watts (``Mulholland Drive'') Nothing against elderly actresses, but Judi Dench Must Be Stopped! In nominating by rote her dithering Simulating more colors and shades in a palette. In a monochrome system that displays or prints only black and white, shades of grays can be simulated by creating varying patterns of black dots. This is how halftones are created in a monochrome printer. ``Iris'' Alzheimer's burlesque burlesque (bûrlĕsk`) [Ital.,=mockery], form of entertainment differing from comedy or farce in that it achieves its effects through caricature, ridicule, and distortion. It differs from satire in that it is devoid of any ethical element. , the academy will overlook incredibly complex work by five bold, fearless women whose ages just happen to range from 18 to 52. Kidman gets my nod for ``Moulin'' over ``The Others'' because, well, who knew she could sing and dance like that - and that anyone could project their personality so effectively past the cacophony of Baz Luhrmann's attention-deficit directing? DIRECTOR Ron Howard (``A Beautiful Mind'') Peter Jackson (``The Fellowship of the Ring'') David Lynch (``Mulholland Drive'') Christopher Nolan (``Memento'') Ridley Scott (``Black Hawk Down'') Traditionally, there is one discrepancy between the Best Picture and Best Director slates. I'd substitute ``Bedroom's'' Todd Field - fine as his directing debut was, he'll have more chances as he grows in the job - with the much trickier and more ambitious work of second-timer Nolan. As for the other four, each achieved some kind of career-defining personal best last year. Worthy as the Robert Altman (``Gosford Park'') and Wes Anderson (``The Royal Tenenbaums'') films were, they didn't quite reach that level. SUPPORTING ACTOR Jim Broadbent (``Iris'') Steve Buscemi (``Ghost World'') Gene Hackman (``The Royal Tenenbaums'') Ben Kingsley (``Sexy Beast'') Tony Shalhoub (``The Man Who Wasn't There'') Nothing against elderly British actors as a group - no, really, I usually love Ian McKellen - but the old guys in the fantasy blockbusters did more hair-extending than acting last year. At least I liked Broadbent's portrayal of an English geezer geezer noun Medtalk American slang for an offensive and/or dull-witted old person, especially a ♂ in hospitals, geezer is a highly derogatory term for an elderly, cantankerous, often poorly-educated ♂ Pt verb , though I wouldn't be unhappy if his mercifully ``Moulin''-stopping rendition of ``Like a Virgin'' was nominated instead. SUPPORTING ACTRESS Jennifer Connelly (``Beautiful Mind'') Helen Mirren (``Gosford Park'') Gwyneth Paltrow (``The Royal Tenenbaums'') Marisa Tomei (``In the Bedroom'') Kate Winslet (``Iris'') Once again, an Anyone-But-Judi prejudice here (she's eligible for her ``Shipping News'' off-the-shelf crustiness). But let's start an Anyone-But-Maggie campaign, too; fun as Dame Smith is in ``Gosford Park,'' she's doing the same brittle Brit shtick shtick also schtick or shtik n. Slang 1. A characteristic attribute, talent, or trait that is helpful in securing recognition or attention: she's already won two Oscars for, and has been working to death ever since. Mirren and Winslet do the real character work in their respective movies. And while some have criticized Paltrow's one-note glumness glum adj. glum·mer, glum·mest 1. Moody and melancholy; dejected. 2. Gloomy; dismal. n. 1. , have they thought about how hard it is to sustain something like that throughout a whole movie? CAPTION(S): photo Photo: (cover -- color) who's in the game? Our ace critics make their predictions for this year's Oscar nominations. |
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