HOW ABOUT SOME DRAMA, TIGER?

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

This is not my day for nice. Will not be a swell day for appreciating greatness.

Here's hoping Tiger Woods fails this weekend. If not fails, then at least has to dig down and fight like you've never seen him to pull out the British Open.

Of course, we haven't exactly seen him need to fight in a while. Have to charge from behind. Have to hold off a desperate rally from a worthy opponent.

That's the trouble with not having any worthy opponents. No one makes you get down in the dirt and scrape. Makes you sweat. Does Tiger sweat?

Tiger is cool. Any more cool and Tiger'd be a Frigidaire. Would be hanging with Ted Williams. He'd be a cyborg, which apparently most of the tour is convinced of anyway.

Tiger has the rest of the PGA so psyched out that if he wasn't a golfer, you're sure he'd be playing in Vegas as the world's greatest hypnotist. It's Tiger in sequins! I'd pay to see that.

Tiger is halfway to one of sports' greatest accomplishments. Right, we should be rooting for this special moment. Reveling in a rare sporting happening, marveling at this incredible athlete.

But I just can't do it. Not that Tiger is a bad guy. I haven't got a clue what kind of a guy he is. Nobody else does, either. Other than he's a very careful guy. A very polished one for a 26-year-old.

He has a great, corporate-winning smile. Is dating some nanny/model. Doesn't like to speak out on social or political issues, which is a shame, but his right. He's half black, half Thai, and all but invincible.

He's worth a zillion dollars, might be the most recognized man on planet Earth and we don't really know him. But that Nike golf shirt does hang perfectly.

What we do know is, he's made the PGA Tour completely dull. If Tiger's not in the tournament, people suddenly find time to clean out the garage. When he's in the tournament, he works with such cold efficiency, it's boring.

The U.S. Open was as dull a major tournament as can be imagined. It's more interesting listening to Dubya mangle the English language or try to boost the stock market, and then watch it plunge.

It's Tiger taking the lead and the rest of the PGA spending the next three days kowtowing. I'm not sure how you beat someone you worship, so the rest of the tour best get off its knees.

I want to see Tiger bloodied. Want to see him reel and then fight back. To reach into a depth not even Tiger knew he had to pull out a memorable victory.

I want to see him humbled some, humanized. To feel as if he really did emerge from an obscure Southern California suburb to become the greatest golfer alive. That he was once one of us.

Right now he seems more phenomenon than a guy from the 'burbs. The perfect golfer. Like right out of a test tube. You respect Tiger, you appreciate Tiger, you might be in awe of Tiger, but it's hard to love Tiger.

Tiger has won seven of the last 11 majors. He's one of the greatest front-runners in golf history. The greater the pressure, the better he seems to play.

Now he's halfway toward a Grand Slam. He's a bigger favorite at Muirfield than kilts. I expect him to win. You expect him to win.

OK, he can win if he makes a mind-boggling charge on the final day. If he sinks a 34-foot putt on the final 18th to win by one. If he's left for dead and then staggers the field.

Or he can come in second. He can show us how he handles a difficult loss. How he's more than just some perfect golfing machine.

I don't want to see him come in 29th again, out of it, just not on his game, never really having a chance. None of this feast-or-famine stuff. Give us a battle, a gut-check. Hogan in the rain. Nicklaus and Watson toe to toe.

Maybe then we could have a Tiger who actually touches us. He already has the best golf swing. The best mental attitude. It just all seems so distant, so orchestrated.

The PGA could use the suspense. Tiger could use the challenge. And I could use going back to my nice ways.

Until then, hope he fails.