HOT TIPS : NIFTY POCKET PENS CAN BE HANDY CONVERSATION PIECES.

Byline: Barbara De Witt

Talk, talk, talk. It's cheap. It's easy. And yet we're always on the lookout for something cute and clever to start a conversation.

To freshen up your cocktail conversation, pass on the conversation print ties and try stuffing a ClipArt pen in your pocket. The new line of theme pens have way-cool artwork that hangs on the outside of the pocket. Miz Hot Tips is talking about little cocktail glasses, space aliens, pinup girls, Christmas mistletoe and several L.A. landmarks, including Mann's Chinese Theatre.

ClipArt pens are $18 to $32 at Macy's stores as well as the Card Factory in Burbank.

Aching back: We thought we were going to be kids forever, yet even baby boomers have been cursed with signs of middle age, from wrinkles to gray hair. But the lower backaches from years of lifting, bending and slouching over our computers are the worst (or at least right up there with saggy breasts).

Miz Hot Tips doesn't have any cures to offer, but she was impressed with all the new massage equipment for sore backs and tense muscles from Interactive Health products in North Hollywood.

Instead of just buzzing and vibrating, they've got a stress buster called the Private Masseuse that turns any chair into a shiatsu massage chair. It features a cushion with kneading nodes that travel up and down the back for deep muscle massage, plus a hand-held remote to direct the massage for $299 at the Sharper Image, Brookstone and Nordstrom. Other new gadgets for that pain in the back - or neck - are the Remote Sensor Acuvibe that automatically senses pressure points through an electro-magnetic feedback system and the Seating Edge, a fully-functional office massage chair for the back and neck.

A little toilet talk: Once, early in her marriage, Miz Hot Tips made a late-night trip to the bathroom and, in her sleepy condition, fell in the toilet, dampening more than her pride.

If only she'd had a Johnny-Light to alert her. But it's not too late for other trusting women or little boys just learning bathroom manners. With a battery-operated Johnny-Light clipped on the back of the toilet seat, a soft green light tells all that the seat is UP and reminds users to put it DOWN when finished. It's $9.95 (plus shipping and handling) and you can order by calling [phone]. Delivery takes about a week.

Gifts with a mission: Actually, Mervyn's California has several missions in mind, all of them along the California coast. Miz Hot Tips is miffed that Mervyn's didn't include the San Fernando Mission in its new collection of keepsake replicas of the famous adobe structures, but she has to admit it's a novel way to raise money for California Mission Gardens Restoration Fund. With the purchase of each $29.99 replica, a portion of the proceeds will be earmarked for the missions of Santa Barbara, San Juan Capistrano, San Francisco de Asis, San Carlos Borromeo de Armelo and San Diego.

Baby blankie: Linus is still dragging his blankie around in the ``Peanuts'' comic strips after all these years, and it's about time he got a new one. Something with a little style like the new Thumbuddie, designed by Athena Demetrios and Bunny Hart of Los Angles for babies and toddlers who are attached to their blankets. The child-sized Thumbuddie security blanket comes in sweet baby prints like pink and blue cows and costs $21.95. Look for it next month at Nordstrom or order from the manufacturer at [phone]. A great tension tamer, they don't come in adult sizes or prints.

CAPTION(S):

Photo

Photo: Among the artwork featured on ClipArt pens are several L.A. landmarks. The pens are $18 to $32 at Macy's stores and the Card Factory in Burbank.