HELP US FIND A GREAT SPOT FOR THE WEDDING.

Byline: Posted by Carol Rock valleynews.com user

A friend greeted me on New Year's Day with a hearty hug and queried, ``So when's the wedding?'' She'd read my blog about resolving to spend a little more ``me'' time in 2007, partly to make room for my youngest daughter's impending trip down the aisle in 2008.

It's only a year, a month and 22 days away, but who's counting? The dress has been purchased, the photographer and cake baker secured, the invitations being designed. No waiting until the last minute here.

What we're doing now is traveling. No, not scouting out good honeymoon locations (that is NOT on my list, according to ``The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being the Mother of the Bride''), but places to have the ceremony.

My beloved husband and I tied the knot in our Plan B location many moons ago. Initially, we had grand plans to marry in the circle garden of Ann Morrison Park in Boise, Idaho. Instead, it rained (yes, it brings good luck) and we were united in front of the fireplace at a friend's home in a crowd of about 30 close personal friends. I made my dress and bouquet, wrote the ceremony and cooked lasagna for the wedding feast. We were the epitome of being both lovestruck and broke.

Thirty years later, we got smart, hired a caterer and enlisted the help of children and friends to decorate the tennis court of a friend's backyard. Just short of 200 people came to celebrate with us and we deemed it the big wedding we never had. The cost was about five times the initial investment, including the jewelry, but worth every penny.

We offered our daughter the same amount of money we spent on the second ``wedding,'' but no dice. She wants the whole Maryanna and, having looked at the picturesque settings in dozens of online galleries, I can't say I blame her. So she, her fiance, his mother and I have become location scouts for this event, which will cost more than 10 times what it did 31 years ago.

At first, they talked about being married in Hart Park, which was really good for me because it's close, affordable and I know people. But that idea went out the window quickly. Noplace where they have ever had to help with a fundraiser or attend an awards show will do, effectively eliminating the country club, golf courses, most banquet halls and parks. So our search has taken us ``over the hill.''

The first place we saw had a lovely view from certain angles, but didn't have the right kind of seating or an adequate changing room for the bride. ``I'd have to make my entrance through the crowd,'' the young one protested. ``I want to be the center of attention.'' Take that place off immediately!

The second place they visited alone, coming back with brochures, pictures and stirring endorsements. We looked at the menus, weighed passed hors d'oeuvres over stations, debated the chicken/beef issue, figured out how long the bar needed to be hosted and the importance of color-coordinated chair covers to finally come up with a figure that caused minimal cardiac arrhythmia. I was amazed that a decision was made so fast, but when you're in love ... you make sudden realizations that turn worlds upside down. ``The dance floor is in a different part of the room than the dining room,'' she wailed three weeks later. ``I don't want people to miss our first dance. Or the daddy-daughter dance.''

Thank goodness I hadn't been too fast with the nonrefundable deposit check.

After a holiday hiatus, the search has shifted into high gear with priorities in place: Bride's entrance. Dancing in the center of attention. Room for at least 150. And, most important to me, someone to set up and take things down so we can enjoy the day. If I'm refinancing my house to pay for this shindig, I'm not shlepping chairs and tables.

Both Santa Barbara and Temecula were dismissed as too far for guests to travel (unless the respective tourism bureau would like to put up about 70 couples...) and I will give my son-in-law-to-be points when he says ``you went to Santa Barbara AND the Bay Area for weddings last year and didn't complain.'' That discussion is still up for consideration. But we'll be in Burbank in a couple of weeks, then zipping out to Moorpark to look at two more places, trying to keep it within an hour's drive. Maybe there will be a decision that day. After all, we'll only have a year and 20 days left.

In the meantime, I'm taking suggestions. Where did your kids/friends tie the knot? Experiences -- good and bad -- I'm listening to them all. Share them in an e-mail at [e-mail] or post a comment to this blog. See you at the altar!