HAS L.A. OWNER HAD FILL OF PHIL?

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

Sorry, Jeanie, don't think it's going to happen. Don't think daddy is really up for it. Better try a more traditional method to nab your man.

As far as Phil Jackson returning in glory to coach the Lakers, I'm thinking there's a better chance Jerry Buss gives up the nightlife.

Buss held something of an annual season-in-review session with the media Wednesday. After 55 minutes we were left certain he thinks Shaquille O'Neal was 60 pounds overweight as a Laker and pretty sure his enthusiasm for Jackson's return is matched only by the prospect of a nice nap.

The entire Lakers organization is a poster for inertia, everything centered not just on who their next coach will be, but whether it will be Jackson.

It's all about Phil, all the time.

Will he? Should he? Will it save the day?

It's a stationary franchise awaiting this key decision before it can truly move forward in any significant direction.

And the Lakers have done ... what?

Taken a nice timeout. Tried to collect themselves after a dismal 34-48 season.

``It's just trying not to react emotionally to what has occurred,'' Buss said. ``To have a chance to catch our breath after a very disappointing season.

``We don't want to select a coach on the rebound. We wanted to have a cool head.''

There's cool, and I suspect there is: Frozen beyond all movement.

While Cleveland and New York have courted Phil, the Lakers have moved forward with all the zeal of a man about to embark on an August hike through the Mojave.

It's not that they never talk, exactly. Buss hooks up with Phil all the time because he dates daughter, Jeanie.

``We have a social relationship,'' Buss said. ``Very seldom would we refer to anything in basketball right now.''

Nah, why would they do that? Why pick the brain of the coach who has won nine NBA titles? Gauge his true interest in returning?

Buss seems content to discuss the merits, or lack thereof, of his team with other ex-coaches.

``My buddy, Jerry Tarkanian, definitely feels we have the material,'' Buss said. ``I had a nice discussion with him recently.''

Isn't that swell? Buss discusses the Lakers with the former UNLV coach, but doesn't really bring it up over a nice Merlot with Phil.

Hey, it's just a feeling. But the feeling is, Buss wants Phil back now almost as little as he did after the 2004 season.

That would be the one where the Lakers were stunned in five games in the NBA Finals.

``The loss in Detroit was humiliating,'' Buss said. ``It was one of the worst experiences I've ever been through in my life because I expected to win. I looked at it and said, 'Why did it happen? Why did we lose?'

``I said, 'Because this family has run its course. I'm going to have to dissolve this dysfunction and we're going to have to start fresh.' And that's what I did.''

Soon Shaq was back in Miami shedding the pounds, Phil was swimming with the dolphins in Australia and the Lakers were going belly up in Staples.

So the cry has gone out: Bring back Phil! Only he can save us!

Buss will allow only that Phil is at the top of a short list and hopes to interview him within the next few days. He wants to interview at least three candidates, and up to five.

He also wants to make a decision before the end of the playoffs (see ya, Larry Brown) and prefers a proven NBA winner (did Flip Saunders or Maurice Cheeks win anything?).

That sort of narrows the field to Phil and Phil.

Now you might rightly ask, why would Buss want him back when he didn't want a year ago?

``Who said that I do want him back?'' Buss asked. ``My reaction to this situation is you choose the coach that has best chance of leading us back to the glory days.

``Wherever that takes us is the direction we'll go. If that be Phil, so be it. If that should be several other unmentionables, so be it.''

Notice that unbounded gusto over Phil's possible return?

Now Buss is a very bright man and this nonchalance could all be viewed as a negotiating ploy to avoid that $10 million figure that keeps getting bandied about to pull Phil back.

But Buss said: ``I suspect we're going to pay something relatively close to that, regardless of who the coach is.''

Just how many $10-million coaches are out there? Answer: Just one.

Phil is clearly the most qualified coach in the land. His potential return has those courtside-seat holders all worked up.

Buss seems to fight a yawn.

``We have a total open mind,'' he said.

And best of luck, Jeanie.