HARRELSON, MURRAY CAN'T KEEP `KINGPIN' FROM FALLING.

Byline: Amy Dawes Daily News Film Critic

Filmmakers Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly (``Dumb and Dumber'') roll a few strikes - but a lot more gutter balls - in this less-than-rollicking attempt at a lowbrow laughfest set on the bowling circuit.

Like its hero, one-armed ex-bowling champ Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson), this pinhead comedy doesn't quite have what it takes to get over.

Harrelson plays a '70s disco-style bowling stud who pays the ultimate price for a hustle gone bad when an angry mob runs his arm through the ball return and mangles it.

Flash-forward to the '90s, when Harrelson's a paunchy, middle-age loser with a bad comb-over, a drinking habit and a hook where his hand used to be.

He can't make his rent, and his landlady, a bony hag with a layer of permanent scum on her teeth, wants him to make up the difference in services rendered between the sheets.

When his life couldn't get any lower, he meets a clueless Amish kid (the 40ish Randy Quaid) from Pennsylvania Dutch country who's blessed with the kind of bowling arm that Harrelson is convinced could make them both rich at a million-dollar bowling tournament in Reno.

Off they go on a bowling road trip - more of a low tour than a pro tour - in which they hustle a string of small-town suckers while trying to make it to Reno. Along the way, they pick up some visual distraction - the curvaceous Vanessa Angel as a fellow hustler/hooker with a million-dollar body and a 25-cent head - and the three of them proceed to Reno on a trip so slow it seems like real time.

There, Harrelson meets up with his nemesis, a sleazy bowler named Big Ern McCracken (Bill Murray), the unctuous creep who ruined his life by leading him into the hustle that cost him his arm, and the two of them wind up facing off in the lanes for the big climax.

But the real competition is for worst hair day, as both of them are trying to cover up advanced stages of male pattern baldness. The wigs in this movie - not to mention the mismatched polyester clothes - are essential to its lowlife style.

Murray offers the most inspired comedy in the movie, honing his patented lounge-singer sleaze to a fine art as he performs the role of the outrageously rude, outrageously amoral sportsman.

Quaid might have seemed exactly the right choice to play Harrelson's dumber-than-dumb foil, but oddly, their pairing never catches fire. Whereas Harrelson plays his grungy character with sly zest, Quaid adopts a mild, pleasant, wishy-washy stance that too often lets the comic opportunities sail past him. And the lame script too often leaves them both stranded, with the filmmakers grasping at desperate gags (like Quaid in a stripper costume) and a blaring '70s music soundtrack to re-energize things.

A running joke in the movie is that anyone who's gotten a raw deal like Roy Munsen did has been ``Munsened.'' After they've bought a ticket for this one, moviegoers may understand exactly how Munsen feels.

For music fans, there's a cameo appearance by Blues Traveler front man John Popper and a concert by the popular band (dressed in Amish beard and clothing) while the credits roll.

THE FACTS

The film: ``Kingpin'' (PG-13; vulgarity).

The stars: Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Bill Murray, Vanessa Angel.

Behind the scenes: Co-directed by Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly. Written by Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan. Produced by Brad Krevoy, Steve Stabler and Bradley Thomas. Released by MGM/UA and Rysher Entertainment.

Running time: One hour, 53 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: Two Stars.

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Photo

Photo: Woody Harrelson, left, Vanessa Angel and Randy Quaid share a tender moment on their way to a bowling championship in ``Kingpin.''