Guilty pleasures: once you've had your fill of summer blockbusters, enjoy some sexy, sleazy cinema. (Video).Come on. You know you want it. There's really no shame in it. It's summer. What better time to indulge your fetish for skanky, steamy trash epics? What follows is my personal top 10 for hot group sleaze-viewing, in alphabetical order. Post BBQ BBQ barbecue . Con margaritas. Only your DVD DVD: see digital versatile disc. DVD in full digital video disc or digital versatile disc Type of optical disc. The DVD represents the second generation of compact-disc (CD) technology. merchant has to know. BASIC INSTINCT (1992): Amazingly, some incidental lesbianism almost got this sumptuous blockbuster B-movie shut down by militant gay activists screaming defamation. Where were these people when Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss was getting made? Sharon Stone is blond crotchless camp as a pouty bisexual zillionaire zil·lion·aire n. Informal One having an immense, incalculable amount of wealth. [zillion + (million)aire.] whose hobbies include athletic nonstop sex, reckless driving, and possibly serial murder. Buckets of nudity, filthy language, stellar gory mayhem, and spectacular San Francisco real estate. Make sure you get the unrated director's cut. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988): Quite possibly the best movie Hammer Studios never made, this Ken Russell keeper strikes a perfect tone between jokey jok·ey also jok·y adj. jok·i·er, jok·i·est Characterized by joking or jokes, especially stale or clumsy jokes: jokey bumper stickers. and jumpy. Amanda Donohoe is a female Frank 'N' Furter as an ultrastylish vampiric snake-woman--her classic Jag, comic timing, and lethal strap-on all fabulous. Fans of The Devils, Russell's other good movie, will especially enjoy the brilliantly tasteless nun-oriented hallucination hallucination, false perception characterized by a distortion of real sensory stimuli. Common types of hallucination are auditory, i.e., hearing voices or noises and visual, i.e., seeing people that are not actually present. scenes. They're so much fun, they should be a screen saver. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982): Square Pegs as envisioned by Todd Solondz. The abrupt, uber-bleak ending is almost as stunning as Steve Antin's flaming performance as an evil pussy-hound. At press time, the DVD was weeks away from release, so I have no idea if it includes the infamous paycable-only she-male pickup sequence. If you think tranny chasing seems out of place in a Fast Times-Porky's knockoff knock·off n. Informal An unauthorized copy or imitation, as of designer clothing: "the place to go for quality knockoffs" Women's Wear Daily. Noun 1. , wait till you see the member measurement scene in the boys' locker room. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE LONELY LADY (1983): This nonstop laugh riot is a truly neglected classic of cautionary showbiz schlock schlock also shlock Slang n. Something, such as merchandise or literature, that is inferior or shoddy. adj. Of inferior quality; cheap or shoddy. . Pla Zadora endures nervous breakdowns, forced lesbianism, and rape with a garden hose to become a respected writer in Hollywood (played by Rome). Haven't we all? [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE LOVE MACHINE (1971): OK, so it's no Valley of the Dolls Valley of the Dolls portrays self-destruction of drug addicted starlets. [Am. Lit.: Valley of the Dolls] See : Drug Addiction , but this Jackie Susann soap is worth it--so garish and dated that it feels like it was filmed on Mars. Dyan Cannon gobbles pukey mod scenery as a man-crazy Hollywood wife, human statue John Phillip Law beats up a butch female hooker for calling him a closet queen, and the film climaxes with an epic fag-on-hag slap-fight. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] SHOWGIRLS (1995): Elizabeth Berkley snarls, shrieks, and humps her way through this masterpiece like a lubed-up wolverine wolverine or glutton, largest member of the weasel family, Gulo gulo, found in the northern parts of North America and Eurasia, usually in high mountains near the timberline or in tundra. . Liz gives the role of Nomi Malone her awful all--she even did her postproduction looping topless. Gina Gershon, the only actor who realizes what movie she's in, oozes wicked diva magic as Nomi's archrival and obligatory lesbo crush. Quite simply the best and beastliest bad movie ever made. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983): What seems at first glance to be a laughably amateurish Friday the 13th Friday the 13th regarded as unlucky day. [Western Folklore: Misc.] See : Luck, Bad rip-off is, upon closer viewing, a laughably amateurish Friday the 13th tip-off with exceptionally nasty dialogue, dozens of teenage dudes cavorting in (and out of) dolphin shorts, and a transgender-psychosexual twist that's just plain nauseating. Recommended. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] SPETTERS (1980): Three young motocross-racing studs learn about life, love, and graphic, erection-packed NC-17 sex. A snack-bar proprietress pro·pri·e·tress n. 1. A woman who has legal title to something; an owner. 2. A woman who owns or owns and manages a business or other such establishment. See Usage Note at -ess. Noun 1. sleeps with them all, including the gay basher, who gets in touch with his inner homo after a retaliatory all-male gang bang. Paul Verhoeven's gritty, fast-paced, postdisco teen tour de force features hair-rific Euro do's and dialogue like "That slut's as rotten as her fries!" The DVD is complete and very uncut, if you get my drift. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] TWO MOON JUNCTION (1988): A voyeuristic Madonna clone whose carpet is seven shades darker than the drapes (Twin Peaks's Sherilyn Fenn) has a fling with a mulleted midway worker (the delectably cheesy Richard Tyson) in this Southern-fried soft-core scream. Kristy McNichol steals the show as a truck-driving lesbian hairdresser (quite a stretch). [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WILD THINGS (1998): Never mind trying to follow the nonsensical noir-on-crack plot twists. Focus on the overheated o·ver·heat v. o·ver·heat·ed, o·ver·heat·ing, o·ver·heats v.tr. 1. To heat too much. 2. To cause to become excited, agitated, or overstimulated. v.intr. incidental delights--enjoyably horrible performances by Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, and Theresa Russell; a supremely sardonic Bill Murray; bisexual threesomes; lez-curious catfights; and executive producer-star Kevin Bacon flashing wang. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] McLaughlin wrote the novels Glamourpuss and Sex Toys of the Gods and lots and lots of disreputable TV episodes. |
|
||||||||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion