Gracious Me.

It's the little things that make a big difference.

I confess that I used to think "gracious living" was something that only rich people did. I was partly right, but it's completely a matter of perspective. When you have a gracious spirit you create wealth for those around you, and in return, you find yourself richly rewarded by a life of fulfillment. Richness, in this sense, has nothing to do with monetary value, but everything to do with quality of life.

One of the most important results of practicing graciousness is that we can grow to be more like God. "You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love" (Nehemiah 9:17, NIV),(*) writes the author of Nehemiah. The graciousness of God is apparent in the extravagant way He loves us. It's especially noticeable in the "little things": the magnificent sunrise on the morning you wake up overwhelmed by life, a free parking space when you're running late, or an unexpected gift that meets a need or gratifies a want. None of these things is important in and of themselves. But they are overwhelming expressions of love filling our parched hearts. That is precisely what graciousness is.

The big things in life can be obstacles or stepping-stones in our path, but it's the little things that make the journey pleasant or unendurable. They can nag at us and restrict our potential, becoming so big that we can't see over them. Or they can lift us up above the bigger issues in life and give us a sense of clarity and new vision. They can help us apply positive thinking to our problem or situation. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones," a wise man once said.

It may seem preposterous to think that small, gracious acts can have that much effect on life. Remember the story about the lion who had a thorn in its paw? A tiny mouse removed it. Which just goes to prove that little things can make a big difference.

Twelve Easy Ways to Be More Gracious

1. Give extravagantly. Give your time, your talent, your resources, but only out of joy--never grudgingly. If you resent your gifts you will become bitter, not gracious. Maybe extravagance for you is five minutes (not five hours). Graciously give the five minutes.

2. Send handwritten thank-you notes (not e-mail!) to express your appreciation for an invitation or favor.

3. When you see an item you know a friend would like, buy it for them if you can afford it.

4. Cultivate friends who are gracious. They will encourage this trait in you.

5. Graciousness is often disguised as plain old-fashioned manners or small niceties reminiscent of before our time: mailed invitations, elegant place settings, fresh flowers, home-made gifts, intimate social gatherings. Resurrect these things to discover graciousness.

6. Whenever you mail a letter include a small surprise, a sachet of perfume, floral stickers, a bookmark (something that will surprise the recipient).

7. Give gifts for no reason. My sister Aimee lives in Korea, where they don't expect obligatory gifts at holidays but give gifts motivated by love throughout the year.

8. Eliminate clutter. Cluttered surroundings oppress your sense of graciousness.

9. Pray for graciousness. It is a gift from a loving God to help us value ourselves and others the way He values us.

10. Surround yourself with beauty. It will inspire you to share what you have received with others.

11. Insist on the real deal. Use cloth napkins and handkerchiefs, eat on glass plates, use pretty paper to write letters. Disposable things should be a novelty, not a staple.

12. Be lavish with praise and thanks. Then if you ever have to eat your words, they will taste good.

(*) Texts credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright [C] 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

Celeste perrino Walker practices the art of gracious living in Rutland, Vermont.