Got (money for) milk?Byline: The Register-Guard It's got to be a conspiracy. Faced with an expanding population of expanding people whose ballooning weight weighs more heavily on health care costs every year, the feds had to do something drastic. So a couple of the flat-stomached Type A ectomorphs who walk around in circles all day in the West Wing exchanging snappy Snappy - Snappy Video Snapshot Shakespearean repartee rep·ar·tee n. 1. A swift, witty reply. 2. Conversation marked by the exchange of witty retorts. See Synonyms at wit1. came up with a stealth stealth Any military technology intended to make vehicles or missiles nearly invisible to enemy radar or other electronic detection. Research in antidetection technology began soon after radar was invented. weapon for the war on fat: Money. They hatched a plan to put a hefty heft·y adj. heft·i·er, heft·i·est 1. Of considerable weight; heavy. 2. Rugged and powerful. See Synonyms at heavy. 3. premium on the guiltiest pleasures in the American diet - chocolate and ice cream - even as they fattened up the price of the most essential American main course: pizza. But they had to cover their tracks. Didn't want to be too obvious. So they raised the price of milk. Since February, the price of milk has shot up by 54 percent. Record prices will be reached in 2004. Charging more for moo raised the price of cheese, butter, ice cream, chocolate and half & half for our coffee (the devils). And for an administration that bills itself as pro-family, the cruelest blow of all: Raising the price of Friday nights watching "Seinfeld" reruns with the dog and the whole family gathered around the extra-large, triple-cheese, mucho-meat pizza. Pizza is a cornerstone cornerstone Ceremonial building block, dated or otherwise inscribed, usually placed in an outer wall of a building to commemorate its dedication. Often the stone is hollowed out to contain newspapers, photographs, or other documents reflecting current customs, with a view to of the American Way The American way of life is an expression that refers to the "life style" of people living in the United States of America. It is an example of a behavioral modality, developed from the 17th century until today. of Life. Each man, woman and child in America eats an average of 23 pounds of pizza per year, according to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. a food industry newsletter. Do the math on that times the U.S. population of about 290 million. We eat only 11 pounds of chocolate per person each year, but that chocolate is an equally essential part of the American Way of Life - including the chocolate that's in all the important flavors of ice cream. These are big problems for a big people, and even for the other Stepford androids who can eat anything without consequence. Because it's not about being able to eat anything we want anymore. It's about being able to afford it. |
|
||||||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion