Goodbye rejection.

Unfortunately, rejection is a fact of life--it happens to everyone. Whether you've been cut from lacrosse, dissed by your clique, turned down for that part in the play or dumped by your guy, rejection stinks. And unless your iMac doubles as a crystal ball, there's no way of knowing when, why or how it's going to happen to you. But follow this advice and you can snag victory from defeat!

DEAL WITH HOW YOU FEEL

You spent all summer training for the cheerleading squad. You gave up three weeks by the pool to practice the routine at cheer camp, you learned every dance step, you even bought team color-coordinated sneakers to wear to tryouts. You made the first cut and then the second. But it's the final day and, when the coach posts the list, your name isn't on it.

Feel like bawling? Go ahead. Cry, scream and sob until your pillowcase drips. Feel like punching something? Do that, too--just don't hit anything that's living or constructed of brick. It's important to unleash your feelings. If you pretend everything's OK when it's not, you'll just build up a dam of emotions that will eventually burst big-time.

After the pity party is over, though, don't dwell on the sadness. Pick yourself up, wring out your pillowcase, and get ready to proceed!

DON'T DWELL ON THE LOSS--CELEBRATE THE WIN

A few months ago, Francesca, 13, wrote and illustrated a story so impressive that her English teacher suggested she enter it in a writing contest. Francesca jumped at the chance. But after several looong weeks of waiting, she received a note saying that her story had only placed in the top 100. Francesca was pretty bummed ... until she noticed how many total entries there were--2,000! She thought about the other 1,900 kids whose stories placed lower than hers. Suddenly, the top 100 didn't seem so bad!

The moral of Francesca's story? Be kind to yourself. You deserve to be rewarded for your efforts and see the positive side of going for something you want--even when it doesn't totally work out the way you had hoped.

NOTE TO SELF: CHANCES ARE IT'S NOT PERSONAL

A popular clique of girls doesn't invite you to sit at their lunch table. The choir director chooses someone else to sing solo for the fall concert. Does that mean you're destined to be a loser? That you have a terrible singing voice? Not exactly.

Some criticism has a grain of truth to it. So it's good to think about whether the person who is dissing you has a valid point. Have you gossiped about one of those lunch girls behind her back? Does your director sometimes gently have to steer you back on key? Maybe; maybe not.

Take stock of the criticism to see if you can learn from it. If not, forget about it. Someone else's criticism can say a lot more about him or her than it says about you. Perhaps the cafeteria chicks are mere snobs or the choir director plays favorites. Who knows? The bottom line is that it's their problem, not yours.

BE YOUR OWN BFF 

"I'm a loser. I'll never be good at anything. I'm a no-talent, so no wonder the coaches didn't pick me." It's tempting to give yourself a verbal beating after you've been rejected. Three words: Don't do it!

Ask yourself this: Would you blatantly bash anyone the way you dump on yourself? Doubtful. Think about what you'd say to your BFF if she didn't make cheerleading. You'd be full of encouragement, right? "Those coaches are blind! Go out for gymnastics instead--it's way more competitive." But what do you say to yourself when you're cut? "I suck. Why did I try out? I'm never going out for a team again."

See the diff? When your gals get rejected, you help them keep their sights on the sunny side of the sitch--what they can learn from it and how to turn it around for the better.

So why not be a friend to yourself? Instead of indulging in lots of negative thoughts and self-doubt, look for the upside instead. Which brings us to ...

REJECT REJECTION

Let's give rejection a new name--we'll call it redirection. Didn't make pep squad? Sorry, can't change that. But what you can do is practice, practice, practice until you're good enough for next year.

Maybe you've realized you have two left feet, skewed rhythm and zero coordination. All righty then--so you'll never be head cheerleader. But there is absolutely something you're good at ... even if you don't know what it is yet.

The guy you like didn't agree to dance at homecoming? Harsh! But believe this: There's a guy for you down the road. If you mope around about the part or guy you didn't get, you'll miss a ton of opportunities right under your nose. The key is to keep that chin up so you can see all those new opps. Like the old saying goes, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens." So look through that door and take notice of that cute guy who sits across from you in chemistry. He's hoping you'll ask him to dance next time!