Give the killjoys the bird.Byline: DENISE ROBERTSON MICK and June Duddy, from Belford, Northumberland, have been threatened with legal action by Berwick Council if they don't stop feeding birds. A council official wrote: "Birds cause some considerable problem in forms of noise and dirt. Not only do their droppings damage and contaminate con·tam·i·nate v. 1. To make impure or unclean by contact or mixture. 2. To expose to or permeate with radioactivity. con·tam·i·nant n. property, the birds also carry various diseases such as salmonella." He's right, of course, so we should starve the blue tits and chaffinches to death along with the rest. But why stop there. Flowers give you hay fever hay fever, seasonal allergy causing inflammation of the mucous membranes of the nose and eyes. It is characterized by itching about the eyes and nose, sneezing, a profuse watery nasal discharge, and tearing of the eyes. , so they're out. Trees drop conkers, fracturing skulls, so send for axes. Running water and church bells equal noise pollution, so no fountains or bell ringers. We need to sanitise Verb 1. sanitise - make sanitary by cleaning or sterilizing hygienise, hygienize, sanitize clean, make clean - make clean by removing dirt, filth, or unwanted substances from; "Clean the stove!"; "The dentist cleaned my teeth" 2. our environment by getting rid of everything joyous and then what's left can be packed into nice metal files, allowing officials to sit back and contemplate a truly Orwellian job well done. CAPTION(S): THREATENED Mick and June Duddy were told by Berwick Council to stop feeding birds in their own garden. |
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