Girls' writing club tackles: sugar daddies; Sister Namibia has embarked on an exciting new project! We have established a creative writing club for girls, which developed out of the short story competition and conflict resolution workshop we held earlier this year.The club wants to empower girls through discussion and creative writing on issues that they deal with on a daily basis, thereby promoting awareness of their rights as girls and contributing towards the development of critically thinking individuals who espouse social justice, equality and a society free from violence. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The girls, who are all learners from high schools based in the capital, will meet each month to explore a different topic that affects them, and subsequently either write a short story or poem on the topic. We hope to have some of their work published in local publications or even read on public platforms. At our next meeting in July, the girls will make suggestions for a club name that we hope will signify sig·ni·fy v. sig·ni·fied, sig·ni·fy·ing, sig·ni·fies v.tr. 1. To denote; mean. 2. To make known, as with a sign or word: signify one's intent. their dynamism, tenacity, intelligence, willingness and strength to defy de·fy tr.v. de·fied, de·fy·ing, de·fies 1. a. To oppose or resist with boldness and assurance: defied the blockade by sailing straight through it. b. the odds and become true equal partners in their society. Intense debate on sugar daddies sugar daddy n. Slang A wealthy, usually older man who gives expensive gifts to a young person in return for sexual favors or companionship. At the June meeting the girls took up the topic of sugar daddies. Little did they know that a few days after their intense discussion, the suicide of 17 year old Ndeshihafela Sadrach would spark a nationwide controversial debate, questioning the practice of older men having sexual relationships with girls. In her suicide note A suicide note is a message left by someone who later attempts or commits suicide. It is estimated that 12-20% of suicides are accompanied by a note.[1] However, incidence rates may depend on race, method of suicide, and cultural differences and may reach rates as high Ndeshihafela had made reference to a high ranking See Google bomb. police official who had apparently been her boyfriend. Massive public outrage led to his suspension while the suicide is being investigated. Senior government officials such as Attorney General Pendukeni livula-Ithana and Minister of Women Affairs and Child Welfare Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah condemned the practice. Speaking to school children celebrating the Day of the African Child, Reverend Nakamhela charged that those who were supposed to protect children were in fact abusing and destroying them. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The girls voiced the same sentiments when they explored the issue at their first club meeting. To them education is more important than falling into the trap of wanting the three Cs--cash, car and cell phone, which they said played a major role in why girls start a relationship with a sugar daddy. According to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. the girls, their peers who have such relationships think it is 'cool' to date an older man with money and everything else that goes with that image. But they also said that sugar daddies tend to target girls from impoverished im·pov·er·ished adj. 1. Reduced to poverty; poverty-stricken. See Synonyms at poor. 2. Deprived of natural richness or strength; limited or depleted: backgrounds, whom they know will be easily convinced once they start flashing the material wealth they can offer. Peer pressure was also noted as one of the contributing factors. Martha pointed out that some girls enter in such relationships to escape violent and abusive homes. Negative impacts of having a sugar daddy The impact that such a relationship can have on a girl was also discussed--none of it was positive. The girls noted that apart from suicide, which they said could happen when the girl is dumped by the sugar daddy, it could also lead to prostitution prostitution, act of granting sexual access for payment. Although most commonly conducted by females for males, it may be performed by females or males for either females or males. , since girls in these relationships get used to using their bodies to have an income. Unwanted pregnancy unwanted pregnancy Obstetrics A pregnancy that is not desired by one or both biologic parents. See Teen pregnancy. , unsafe abortion Unsafe abortion is a significant cause of maternal mortality and morbidity in the world, especially in developing countries (95% of unsafe abortions take place in developing countries). , the loss of a girl's good reputation as well as family and friends were also mentioned. The club members also said that girls are more vulnerable to the risk of HIV HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), either of two closely related retroviruses that invade T-helper lymphocytes and are responsible for AIDS. There are two types of HIV: HIV-1 and HIV-2. HIV-1 is responsible for the vast majority of AIDS in the United States. infection because they can be threatened with a loss of financial support from their sugar daddies when they try to negotiate safe sex. They felt that such a relationship could negatively impact on the girl's education, because she would spend her time with her sugar daddy. Lastly, they expressed concern that through these relationships girls learnt to view men as providers instead of taking up the challenge of learning to stand on their own feet in relationships based on equality. Of course they also discussed how such relationships could be avoided. Most important, in their view, was to stay focussed on achieving a good education as well as for girls to economically empower themselves by finding a part-time job. They also suggested that club members receive training on assertiveness assertiveness /as·ser·tive·ness/ (ah-ser´tiv-nes) the quality or state of bold or confident self-expression, neither aggressive nor submissive. , negotiation and decision-making. Resisting commercialised youth culture Communities and families who condone condone v. 1) to forgive, support, and/or overlook moral or legal failures of another without protest, with the result that it appears that such breaches of moral or legal duties are acceptable. and at times even encourage such relationships should instead encourage girls to empower themselves, and condemn sugar daddies. 'Older men's perception of young women: A sexual health challenge', a study by Ndivhuwo Masindi of South Africa's Women's Health Women's Health Definition Women's health is the effect of gender on disease and health that encompasses a broad range of biological and psychosocial issues. Project, found that older men have the financial ability to attract young women who are materialistic ma·te·ri·al·ism n. 1. Philosophy The theory that physical matter is the only reality and that everything, including thought, feeling, mind, and will, can be explained in terms of matter and physical phenomena. 2. . Such girls thus ensure that their most valued commodity is invested appropriately. "The popular global image which is considered cool, is a young woman who is fashionably dressed and has a cell phone, and older men have the ability to offer that to a young women," it notes. The study points out that the commercialisation of sex is often associated with sex work, while it in fact cuts across all forms of sexual relationships. It further notes that sex is viewed as a man's right for material provision and a women's price to pay. Older men preferring young women as sexual partners is not a new notion, the study notes. In traditional societies, once a girl reaches puberty puberty (py  `bərtē), period during which the onset of sexual maturity occurs. , she is
considered ripe and ready for marriage and motherhood.
Ndeshihafela's suicide highlighted just one of the many challenges faced by the girl child in our society. Girls who are interested in joining a club that aims to empower girls and make them aware that there is more to life than sugar daddies and teenage pregnancy teenage pregnancy Adolescent pregnancy, teen pregnancy Social medicine Pregnancy by a ♀, age 13 to 19; TP is usually understood to occur in a ♀ who has not completed her core education–secondary school, has few or no marketable skills, is can contact the Namibia Girl Child Organisation, Telephone: 061-263665/2620201 Juanita Goagoses, Jan Jonker Afrikaner Secondary School "I think sugar daddies are men who are financially stable and are just there to use young girls who are not able to support themselves. Rather than exchanging their money for sex I think they should give Namibian girls a better education--help them to achieve their goals. Communities should stand together and demolish de·mol·ish tr.v. de·mol·ished, de·mol·ish·ing, de·mol·ish·es 1. To tear down completely; raze. 2. To do away with completely; put an end to. 3. sugar daddies. Mothers should not give their daughters to sugar daddies and rather encourage them not to sleep with them." Laimi Shaanika, Centaurus High School "They are men who think they can buy anything with money. They are bad for you and can make you lose your reputation, selfrespect, dignity, what you have and the only thing you may have is your family. We should believe in ourselves. Try hard to aim for what you want and do not depend on someone else to do it for you." Alda Elisa, Goreangab Junior Secondary School "They are older men who try to feel younger by having sex with younger girls. They have no self-respect. The community should stand together and fight men who have sex with girls." Martha Indombe, Dawid Bezuidenhoudt High School "A man who is taking advantage of a young girl knowing that she is not capable of caring for herself is unfair and selfish. Girls should stand up for their rights, and when they need something they should not find the easy way out." |
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