Get me out of.. Essex! MY JUNGLE NIGHTMARE I'M A CITY GIRL..

Byline: By ANTONIA HOYLE

THE worm's got more reason to be scared than me - after all it is dangling from my fingers just millimetres from my open mouth and certain annihilation.

But as my knees buckle and cold sweat pricks my skin, I swear I can see it grin in triumph as I toss it away in fear.

Pathetic, I know. But I'm a wuss. I scream if I see a spider, my legs buckle near a bug and I haven't slept since seeing a mouse in my flat three days ago.

So why exactly am I in Epping Forest in deepest Essex?

Trying to copy those I'm A Celebrity contestants, of course.

Series six of the ITV series began last week condemning 12 "stars" to three weeks of buzzing, crawling misery in the Australian bush.

And if a bunch of pampered celebs, including the likes of David Gest, Jan Leeming and Jason Donovan, can cope, then I can too, by spending a night in the wilderness.

Of course the boss is far too mean to stump up for a ticket to Oz, so Epping Forest it is.

Packing a few essentials in my rucksack, I take a last, lingering look at my mouse-infested, but still warm and dry, home and set off.

Arriving, I realise my first error. As my stilettos sink into the sodden ground, I learn for the first time in my life, that there is somewhere a girl can't wear her Jimmy Choos.

The designer minidress may have been a mistake, too.

Only 24 hours to go.

Still, crack on. And first up is a "bushtucker" trial. Celebs have been buried in a box of rats, dumped into a vat of snakes and forced to eat kangaroo testicles.

This year, the producers are promising it will be scarier still, with "more tears, more tantrums, more testicles" than ever before.

One camper is even going to be dunked in a tank of crocodiles, we're told. Yikes.

Kangaroos, snakes and crocodiles are in short supply in Essex, thank god, so, I decide to take on a death defying Very Tall Tree swing.

Monkeying across a groaning tree 6ft above a quite deep dip might not sound that tough, but, trust me, my arm muscles are burning after trying to hang on to a moss-covered branch.

Challenge completed, it's treat time. The succulent, soil-coated Lumbricus terrestris or common earthworm.

Worms are surprisingly strong and slippery. And as mine does its damnedest to escape I have no option but to hold it to my mouth, shut my eyes very tightly and take a (tiny) taste before getting rid quickly.

As night falls and the temperature drops, I figure I'll be better off in my PJs and slip into the black and white pair, which I brought with me because they are the closest thing I've got to camouflage gear.

Then it's time to make my campfire by rubbing together a couple of dry twigs and set to preparing my evening meal of meatballs and cold soup - sneaked in from Tesco.

You didn't think I was going to trap a rabbit, did you? And the only things I can see here are mushrooms. And they might be poisonous.

ANYWAY the celebs win rewards and I have been very brave.

The next job as every good Girl Guide knows, is shelter. And with a few bin bags laid atop some flat branches and a pashmina draped down for privacy, I snuggle down in my sleeping bag all set for a well-earned night's sleep.

Which is when the noises start. Suddenly, I feel lonely. I cast my mind back over the previous five series, wishing I had Jennie Bond or Sheree Murphy with me now.

Heck, even Peter Andre would be better than nothing.

I want to handle it all stoically, like Janet Street-Porter, or with a sense of humour, like Joe Pasquale, but the truth is, I'm more of a Sophie Anderton - neurotic and squeamish.

Finally, I drift off. Only to wake every few minutes when twigs stab my backside or a particularly scary noise disturbs my dreams.

And when I open my eyes at dawn I should be knackered. But actually, I'm quite pleased.

Fending for yourself isn't easy, but it is satisfying. And as I pack up my sleeping bag and head back to London, I find I'm smiling.

I've enjoyed every second of my I'm a Celebrity experience. Sort of.

[e-mail]

CAPTION(S):

Happy camper: Antonia takes it easy PHOTOS: PHIL HARRIS' MONKEY MAGIC: My treetop challenge' THE WORM TURNED: Bushtucker trial' SPOT ON: Camouflaged in my jungle PJs' CREEP DREAMS: A good night's sleep