Get high on helping; Dear Miriam.

Byline: MIRIAM STOPPARD

Life's so frantic these days we're often too stressed and busy to think about doing someone a good turn.

We'd love to be kinder and more caring - if only we had the time, energy and money.

But according to researchers at California University, concern for others not only makes them feel better, it can do wonders for you, too.

They reckon people who offer a helping hand are more likely to be healthy, happy and satisfied with their own lives - and less prone to stress and depression.

Another study even suggests giving away money acts on the same part of your brain stimulated by having sex or a cash windfall - giving you a type of high.

So, in this era of "me, me, me", here are just eight of the benefits from putting the needs of others first..

(1) You get a helper's high

Anyone engaged in work that is altruistic - that includes all the caring professions - gets a higher level of job satisfaction. Feeling we're making a difference causes a chemical reaction in our bodies.

A 2005 Israeli study found a link between kindness and the gene that releases dopamine, the feel-good chemical, in our brain.

Other work analysing brain patterns of people choosing to donate money revealed it activates the reward centre - the same part of the brain stimulated by having sex or getting a pay rise. Dubbed the "helper's high", it can be addictive.

(2) You feel less empty

In a world of conspicuous consumption, we're always looking to buy something new, bigger or better. But this makes many feel more alone or empty than ever before because acquiring things doesn't make us feel fulfilled - while connecting with other people does. Doing volunteer work or just helping out an elderly neighbour can help fill this void.

(3) You could shift mild depression

Research shows kindness can also make us happier and ward off the blues. In one US study, participants were asked to perform random acts of kindness over a ten-week period.

The results showed that people's happiness rose and depression fell considerably, according to the number and variety of kind acts they did.

(4) You enjoy higher self-esteem

Another US researcher, in San Francisco, charted a group of people's lifetime behaviour from the 1930s to the present day. It found those who had volunteered and got involved in forms of giving in their teens went on to have the highest levels of confidence and self-esteem throughout their lives.

This suggests that the act of helping other people dramatically changes the helper's life in a permanent and positive way.

(5) You could live longer

A study earlier this year of nearly 100,000 women found that those rated as "kind", "helpful" and "altruistic" lived significantly longer and had lower rates of cancer and heart disease.

(6) You become more attractive to the opposite sex!

As Nottingham University study found that displays of altruism or selflessness towards others made people more sexually attractive in the eyes of potential mates. This held true for both men and women.

(7) You feel less stressed

Stress and anxiety involve a lot of focusing inwards and thinking about yourself. Switching your focus onto the needs of others helps shift thinking away from your own problems, pushing aside the negative feelings that go with them. So one of the best ways to overcome stress could be to help another person. This benefit is evident in people who, after suffering a trauma, go on to help others going through the same experience. Some research also shows that helping others can help lower raised blood pressure.

(8) You create a happiness loop

Feeling good and doing good combine to create a positive feedback loop. This basically means that doing good helps us feel good, and feeling good makes us more likely to do good again - so we keep doing it. Many studies have found that happy people are more helpful.

How to look out for others ..and yourself

Bringing a bit more kindness into your daily life isn't difficult, and doesn't have to turn you into a do-gooder. Here are some easy things you can try...

Volunteer locally

Research shows people who volunteer just two hours of their time a week have better physical health and are less depressed. Contact your local school, soup kitchen or charity to find out how you can get involved.

Offer help to friends and neighbours

Find out the needs of those nearby. Lend a garden tool, bring dinner to someone who's ill, feed pets for neighbours who are on holiday, or offer a lift to someone who doesn't have a car.

Donate what you can

It doesn't have to be a lot of money to count. Setting up a small monthly donation for a charity you care about - even just pounds 2 - can do enormous good. Look for opportunities to give within your means, for example, before throwing things away see if they're of use to your local charity shop. I often given old books to a nearby library and they're always pleased.

Be a good listener

Sometimes all others need is a sympathetic listener to make them feel heard, cared for or loved.

Make others smile

The easiest way to make other people feel good is to give them a smile or compliment. I'm always telling strangers I love their scarf, shoes or coat if something catches my eye.

My son also taught me that just because I didn't have any money on me, I didn't have to look away from people busking or collecting money for charity.

Saying hello and smiling is just as important and helps make people feel part of the community.

ADDITIONAL RESEARCH: CAROLINE JONES