GROUP HELPS EASE BURDEN OF ALZHEIMER'S.

Byline: Alicia Doyle Daily News Staff Writer

Each morning for the past four years, Rose Rosenberger has looked to a worn piece of paper taped to her refrigerator for inspiration.

The words on the paper carry courage, hope and faith - in words that can be understood fully only by a person caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease.

``I underlined this one because I like it the best,'' said Rosenberger, reading No. 8 on her list of ``Care-Givers' Bill of Rights.''

``I will protect my individuality,'' she reads. ``And my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help.''

Rosenberger's husband, Ralph, was diagnosed with the disease in 1991. Since then, the Simi Valley woman has given him round-the-clock care, each day renewing her patience, tolerance and understanding for the man she married 23 years ago.

``I miss him,'' Rosenberger said. ``I miss the personality he once was.''

Since his diagnosis, she said, Ralph has grown childlike and suffers memory loss. A highly motivated handyman around the house after his retirement, he stopped performing simple tasks because they became too confusing. The couple doesn't go on camping trips anymore, or out to dinner as much as they used to.

``His life depends on me,'' Rosenberger said.

At first in denial about her husband's condition, Rosenberger learned how to cope when she discovered she wasn't alone.

Taking a doctor's advice, she began attending a care-givers monthly support group in Simi Valley soon after Ralph began showing signs of the disease.

Sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association, the meetings take place at the Simi Valley Senior Center, where groups of up to 20 attend. In confidence, they share their fears, frustrations and pain.

Like Rosenberger, each participant is given a ``Care-Giver's Bill of Rights.''

The document says that care-givers are allowed to feel angry and depressed. They should seek help from others and recognize the limits of their own strength. The list also says care-givers should expect difficult times but take pride in daily accomplishments with their loved one.

Alzheimer's disease is a progressive, degenerative disease of the brain in which brain cells die and are not replaced, according to the Alzheimer's Association. It results in impaired memory, thinking and behavior. There is no known cure.

The California Department of Aging estimates there are more than 15,000 cases of Alzheimer's disease and related disorders in Ventura County, which amounts to one in every 51 people.

In California, the number of people with the disease equals the population in Ventura County, which stands at 710,000.

While most suffering from the disease are seniors, 15 percent of newly diagnosed cases are people in their 40s and 50s, according to the National Alzheimer's Association in Chicago.

Jean Ruecker, who has led the Simi Valley support group for the past four years, said the goal is to make life a little easier for those caring for someone who has Alzheimer's disease.

``We provide an outlet,'' said Ruecker, who joined the group when her mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 13 years ago. ``Some care-givers don't think anyone understands what they're going through. But we show them there are people out there just like them.''

A support group can help care-givers feel more in control of their lives by helping them understand more about the disease, Ruecker said. The support group also assists families in locating community resources such as adult day care and transportation services.

Through participation in a group, care-givers also are better prepared and may perhaps feel less devastated when their loved one's condition grows worse.

James Wortman, executive director of the Alzheimer's Association of Ventura County, said a support group provides a safe, permissible environment to express emotions.

``Being a care-giver can literally drive you out of your mind,'' said Wortman. ``It can cause mental and physical exhaustion. . . . The fear is that the care-giver will ruin their health or perhaps die before the person they're caring for.''

Rosenberger said the monthly meetings give her courage and teach her not to feel guilty when she needs to take a break.

CARETAKER GROUPS

There are 15 care-giver support groups throughout Ventura County. For more information, call the Alzheimer's Association of Ventura County at [phone]. To contact the Simi Valley support group, call Jean Ruecker at [phone].

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